


THE GUARDIAN

by phinutz_77



Category: Mewgulf, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M, ongoing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 69,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27097042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phinutz_77/pseuds/phinutz_77
Summary: AUMew Suppasit Jongcheveevat, an ex navy seal,  just got hired as a private body guard for superstar Gulf Kanawut of thailand.Ready to lead.Ready to follow.Never quit.Will he be able to fulfill his duties?If the Introverted superstar is as stubborn as hell and as spoiled as a hellion.Gulf felt assured the day he met Mew as his bodyguard.Trusting is his biggest issue.But can he really be safe if the danger is his bodyguard itself?Being able to arouse emotions from him he never knew he had.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59





	1. SOLITUDE

_You call it BEING ALONE. I call it, ENJOYING MY OWN COMPANY._

_-GULF_  
*************************************

"Phi Best, Im not going to that silly event!."  
I snapped at him as I continue to tap on the keyboard of my computer.

I am in the middle of a game with my friends and Phi* Best, my manager, is irritating me by being such a nuisance, requesting me to attend the event I was invited upon. He's been bugging me since this morning but I'm not listening.

I don't give a fuck about that event.  
For all I know, I would be the center of attraction again just like any other times when I attended live events requested by sponsors. Some of the fans even pinched me at times, they can't keep their hands off me..and I hate it.

And I seldom enjoy crowded places, specially being under the spotlight.  
If I can decide on my own career path, I wouldn't want to be an actor at all. I HATE THE CROWD. I hate people.  
Humans other than my family and close friends, I don't want them near me.   
I'm an introvert and I can't help it. I'd rather stay in the confinement of my room and play computer games all day where I felt safe.

But my multi-awarded actress mother wants me to be one. And my multi millionaire father supports her in that scheme. She says I need to go out of my comfort zone.  
I need to explore the world.  
I need to overcome my introverted nature as a preparation when I take over the management of our company. Thus enforcing a 5 year contract between me and my parents.  
I, being dependent on them at the time have no right to refuse. Any objection I thought about have all gone to waste. They would've had their way anyway, so I give up opposing.

When I turned 15, my mother used her connections to sign me up for a modelling job. I thought it's ridiculous but she insisted.   
On my first shoot, I was so nervous I fainted after a few shots. It was the most dreadful, embarrassing moment of my life. But my mother never gave up on me, she contacted Phi Best, one of the best talent managers in the country to mentor and manage my career. Phi enrolled me in a talent center, got a bunch of modelling jobs and commercials, and the rest is history. I became a high-end super model / commercial endorser while home schooling.

 **"But Gulf, we have a contract with the sponsors. If you didn't show up, it might affect your upcoming audition with channel 13 for the series your mother wants you to take part."**  
He said in a hoarse voice, probably tired from talking on me all day.

"Fucking contracts."  
I grunted under my breath, without taking my eyes off the screen.

"Gulf, Please.. we will be late..You even fired the driver just because he chews a gum while driving?!..Who would-"

The door suddenly bursts open and in came my mother. Also known as Madame Nuch, the one and only.

 **"Gulf, honey! Why haven't you prepared yet?**  
 **It's almost time for the DENTISTE' live event,**  
 **Hey, darling.. don't tell me you plan on ditching the sponsors!"**  
She exclaimed, her eyeballs expanding in disbelief, as she sashayed towards me.  
Her long curly auburn hair swaying with her every step. Her long floral pink dress hugs her body softly.

"But mae*, I'm afraid of those fans. What if they get greedy and hug me?.."  
I just throw a bored glance at her and continued to play.

I really don't want to go, especially with the thought of interacting with the top spenders of the said brand of mouth hygiene products. Those fans tend to be more touchy, because they think they have the right as top spenders. They spend a fortune, so they might demand the same worth of attention.

**"It's inevitable, but that's exactly the reason why we are doing this. To prepare you for the future. We have a contract, remember? 5yrs. in the industry and you're free to do whatever you want with your life..**   
**Bester, please get his suit. I'll help him prepare. And please contact Lhyn, she'll be doing my son's make up tonight."**

Phi Best follow through what my mom said and started on the way to get my wardrobe, dialling on his phone.

"Mae, I said I'm not going. What if that stalker came at the venue? you're not even bothered about my safety?"  
I said in frustration.  
Still focusing on the game that I'm already losing grasp with. I can't be defeated! Shit!

 **"Oh, about that."**  
She look behind her and from there came out a tall man in black suit.  
I didn't bother to look, as I can see him on my peripheral vision.

 **"Honey, this is Mr. Jongcheveevat. Your new bodyguard. He will accompany you wherever you go. And, he will be reporting directly to your father, so don't you ever think of sneaking around.**  
 **Bester, you know what to do."**  
I guessed she raised an eyebrow to phi as she talks.

 **"Hi, nice meeting you, I am Bester, Gulf's manager."**  
He offered a handshake.

 **"Nice meeting you sir. Hello Mr. Kanawut sir, Im Suppasit but you may call me Mew."**  
Came the voice so deep it makes me jolt in surprise, i lost concentration on the game, and I got lost.

"Shit!..defeated?!..fuck!."  
I can't help yelping as I see the word DEFEAT on my computer screen.

I flip and toss the keyboard in my annoyance and with a scowl, I harshly turn to look at the owner of the voice.

My breath was caught captive on my chest the instant our eyes met.  
I was staring straight at the most intensely hazel brown eyes I have ever seen. I was taken a back by the cold and penetrating gaze that were thrown upon me. As if he is reading my soul. I feel naked under his scrutinizing eyes.  
I feel the warm blood rushed to my face with ambarrassment.

As my eyes roamed around his marvelous face. The straight dominant nose, the high cheekbones, think eyebrows and thin lips. A handsome fucker.

_What's with the looks? is it a requirement? Tss, you may go to hell I don't give a damn._

I smirked and rolled my eyes.  
I can see how those prominent jawline moves as if gritting his teeth.

"Hi..uhm. Mae, I'll go and prepare."  
I managed a short response as I cleared my throat and stand up to go and take a shower.  
I'm still pissed but I suddenly feel hot all over.  
Maybe because I lost in the game.

_Huh, adrenalin rush._   
_The hell?_

I have no choice but to comply on what my mom wants, just to end the argument.

 _\------------------------------------_ _\-------------_  
I am sitting quietly inside my black limited edition Toyota C-HR. Mew the new bodyguard is driving and Phi Best is sitting beside me, busy with his phone as usual.

I can't help but be wary of the things I might be doing later. Can I do it? Yes I can smile and act cheerful infront of the fans, I've rehearsed that much, but interacting upclose is a diffirent story. Specially now that I remembered about the stalker that kept on appearing in all of my events. Public or private, he's always there.

I shuddered in the memory of last weeks event where I saw the hooded figure pass through the open door of my dressing room and left a bouquet of red roses with a note..

I HOPE TO BE WITH YOU VERY SOON. WAIT FOR ME.

I closed my eyes as pain seered through my temple.  
I slowly massaged my head and accidentally looked at the rear view mirror where i found a set of anxious eyes looking back at me.

I frown and rolled my eyes at him.

_W_ _ut_ _t_ _he hell's your problem?_   
_Nosy fucker._

I closed my eyes and tried to take a quick nap, hoping It'll help in calming down my nerves.

I want to go back home.

************************************  
A/N  
Hi phi's and nong's😁  
anyone here for NC scenes?  
🤭🙈  
im telling you, brace yourself.  
😉😘

Kudos are highly appreciated..  
thank you.

-phinutz


	2. CHAOS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wear my chaos on the inside where no one can see it.
> 
> -GULF

_**************************_ *******  
The live event was going smoothly as it seems. It helps a lot that phi Best talked with the organizers and addressed my situation. Thus creating a rule for the on live fans (top spenders).

Rule:  
No touching the talent in any form ( e.g.: pinching(cheeks or arms)/hugging/ kissing)

I may seem arrogant and conceited, but I don't care much about that.  
Im feeling a lot morecomfortable now, seeing how sweet and cooperative my fans are.  
Don't get me wrong, I love my fans..it's just that im not yet accustomed to touching strangers. Just the thought makes my skin crawl with itch. This feeling of mistrust about other people outside my safe zone is something unfathomable for me.  
Luckily, the fans agreed and promised not to touch during photo ops.  
I smiled at them sweetly in return and proceeded with the picture taking.

But tonight, I guess the thought of having Mr. Mew standing just a few feet away from me, makes me feel more than a little at ease.

He was facing the same direction as me so I have all the glory of his back to eye upon.  
His slightly wavy hair is neatly combed in place, sleek, shining with hairwax giving it a 'fresh from the salon look'.

He looks alert shifting his head from side to side.  
I wonder, if he is feeling okay with this crowd around us.

The sneaked glances I throw at him became constant and without me realizing, I've been staring at the man for quite sometime.

He was wearing a new suit, different from the previous one I saw earlier. It was pitch black , with a 3 pieces silver cuff buttons. The 3 piece suit lacks any adornment but it definitely looks good on him.  
It fits perfectly from those broad shoulders to his super fine hips and buttocks-

_Wait wut? Why am i ogling on some assholes butt?_

_"_ Gulf..Gulf, what happened?"  
Phi Bester's voice awaken me from my mischievous scrutiny.

"Huh? Why phi?"  
I was equally dumb founded by the sudden call out.

"You've been zoning out and frowning, it doesn't look good on the pictures."

"Aow, im sorry phi, im sorry..let's take another shot for this pretty girl."  
I vowed to phi and to the fan beside me and smiled sweetly to her just to ease the chagrin im feeling.

Then I looked up at the camera and I can feel a pair of nosy eyes on me..making me blush with embarrassment.

But suddenly, my sight caught a familiar figure in the middle of the crowded place. The black hooded individual slowly makes its way through the crowd, his face entirely shadowed under the hood of his jacket and he's walking towards me.  
I began to feel the rising panic in my chest as I tried my best to smile on the camera.

_Please...please finish this shoot now.._

Each slow steps that the unknown person is making sends shiver after shiver to my bones.. I am slowly being eaten by fear.

My heart starts to palpitate relentlessly..  
Its bursting.  
Beads of sweat began to form in my forehead and my hands start to feel numb.

I knew it, anxiety is attacking real soon..  
I need to get out of here quick.

As the last fan stands beside me to take a photo together, I looked at phi Best, to somewhat ask for help in a form of a silent gesture.  
But phi is busy talking with someone and he isn't looking at my direction.

And as the last picture was taken,  
I found the hooded man infront of me. Beside the camera man. Just a few feet away.  
He is carrying a basket of red roses just like before.  
And I can clearly see a note card in there.  
I was horrified and I really can't control the shaking of my body now..

The fan beside me notice my trembling body and asked softly..

"Nong Gulf, are you okay?"

I just noded slowly and continued smiling even thou I feel like bursting into tears.

_Mae, help me..im afraid..mae.._

As I was silently praying and chanting in my mind,  
the fucker waved his hand at me, as if to say hello.  
He kind of tilt his head and showed his terrifying grin that wiped the smile off my face.  
A set of unevenly crooked teeth makes me undone.

_That's it. Im outta here._

Before I can even stand up to run backstage,  
My vision became blurry,  
I can't breath..  
I tried to inhale several times but nothing came into my lungs..  
I was gasping as I clenched my hurting chest.

_Air...I need air.._  
_Please somebody..help me.._

I reached out my hand and in my foggy sight, saw everyone in the room panic, they were saying something but I can't hear what it is. Time seems to slowdown as they run towards me including the rascal, making its way closer..

Badum..

Badum..

Badum..

Badum..

Just like that, everything  
went black. Im falling down..  
But before i totally lost my conciousness, A pair of strong arms encircled my waist into a very tight hug, catching me as I fall.  
And the feeling of security envelops my soul before I go beyond the unknown.

**************************

Guppie: ei! Gup is kidnappie.. yelp! dadi Mewt!.😭😭  
Owtor is bad..😢  
************************************  
😅Sorry babie.  
  


-phinutz


	3. SAFETY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the world so cruel that it frightens you, fret not.. For I am here. I will protect you even from your own fears.
> 
> -MEW

_************************_ **********  
My heart swells with fondness as I look at the sleeping charmer on the bed beside me. His face so angelic, I can't believe he growls and snaps at me everytime our eyes met. How can someone look so soft yet so hard to approach? Just watching the steady rise and fall of his chest brings so much tranquility into my worried soul. I stare at his face lingering into the slope of his nose and the curve of his lips. It hinges my breath and feels something tighten in my chest.

I gritted my teeth as I recall the unnerving incident earlier where I nearly lost my sanity thinking about what might have happened have I not been there with him today.

My attention has been caught by Bester calling out for Gulf in the middle of the photo ops with the fans.

Seems like he's been zoning out, I looked at his direction and found his blushing face quite amusing. My gaze lingered unto his flickering eyes a little too long and my heart filled with such contempt as I studied his expression.

When all of a sudden, something in his face changed. I frowned instantly after his mischievous eyes slowly get filled with fear, then it turned into a terrified look, so I follow the direction of his vision.

There, beside the camera man, was a hooded man staring back directly at him. His face were hlaf covered by the hood of his black jacket. His torn out jeans were faded and smudged. He is carrying a basket of flowers.  
Based on his posture, I have a strong feeling that he is the stalker Kana is talking about earlier.

Something tugs at my heart and I immediately get my feet moving towards him just in case, slowly at first, but when I noticed Kana clutching his chest and seems to have difficulty in breathing as well, I stride hastily. His eyes looked unfocused and thus makes me run quickly in his direction.

My heart is beating faster than a speeding train.  
His safety is my number one priority.  
I was two steps away from him when he began to close his eyes, and slowly as it seemed, he falls into a faint..  
He's gonna collapse.

_No! don't! Shit, i can't make it on time!._

I crossed the distance with one long stride, kicked my feet and slide my knees into the floor, instantly, as if in their own accord, my arms found the hollow of his waist and encircle him into a tight hug preventing the fall.

_Kana!_

He lies there unconscious and the air I breathe seemed to burn my lungs as my senses are in full alert. Im in a state of agonizing fear of failing to protect this beautiful man in my arms.

In a split second, phi Best was beside me and the crowd towering above us.

 **"Give room, please everyone, don't get closer. Can i have a bottle of water please?"**  
Bester told the crew.

My eyes darted back to the place where the stalker is standing moments ago, but he is nowhere to be found.  
I looked at Kana and I saw the colors leaving his face turning him pale all over.

"Bester sir, can I leave Mr. Kanawut with you? I will try to find the stalker."  
I said.

**"Stalker? What? Where?"**

I can sense his sudden panic so I didn't answer and just handed him the still unconcious Kana and stand up. My head is throbbing with so much fervor as I scanned the area of curious fans and staff.

_I swear to god, who ever you are, you'll gonna pray to be sent straight to hell if ever I landed my hands on you. May lucifer bless your soul!_

Im grunting in rage as I look for the culprit in the crowd.  
I run, searched all the corners of the area but he is nowhere to be found.

Im so useless!. I gripped my knuckles tightly in a mixture of frustration and fury.  
And before I dwell into my emotions, I go back to secure Kana. I need to take him home, ASAP.

I found him still lying on the stage with phi Bester fanning his face. Someone is wiping his face with a towelette, probably one of the crews. The staffs make way for me as I scooped Kana in my arms like a sack of potato and carried him towards the fire exit leading directly to the garage where I parked the car.

I can't control the rush of anxiety clouding my mind.  
How can I be so naive as to let someone seem dangerous enough get so close like that to Kana?  
I won't forgive myself if anything bad happened to him.  
I inhaled sharply.

_As if this isn't bad enough?_  
_Argh...Mew, you lousy stupid shitbag._

I drove hurriedly back to the Traipipattanapong mansion as phi Bester talks on the phone ,probably Madam Nuch and heard about something like doctor..and panic attack..and phobia?

I don't pay much attention to details as I was sneak peeking on the rearview mirror every now and then, checking on him..I get so worked up about Kana who is still unconscious but luckily, his face seem to retain it's color somehow.

He might not remember me now, but someday he will, and I won't let anything unpleasant happen to him inbetween. I swear on my mother's grave, I will protect him no matter what, I will protect his family as well as mine.

When we arrived at the mansion, a doctor was already waiting in his room.  
She is a middle aged woman about 5 feet and a few inches tall, with a stern expression on her face. She seems to be a mixed race of thai with western features. Her deep set eyes looked at me warily as I lay Kana on his bed.  
Madam Nuch introduced her as Dr. Karla Chivaree, Gulf's personal doctor.  
And while he was being checked, I was summoned by his father.

" **Mew**."

"Sir, im sorry I failed on my first day.

" **What really happened? And please, let's drop the formality. We both know it's unnecessary."**  
He sat un moving on the chair behind the solid glass table.

 **"** I don't know uncle, some hooded man came at the venue of the event. I didn't notice him at first until I saw Kana looking at him and he seem to panic right away so I get to him just in time of him fainting."

" **And?did you find this hooded man?"**  
He slumped back on the chair, gently massaging his temple.

 **"** I'm afraid not uncle..I searched the area but he seemed to vanish into thin air."  
I can't help but clutch my fists in exasperation.

**"Hmm, okay..I'll try to look into it, don't worry too much, let me handle things from here. Wel... I guess Gulf needs a vacation. Will you accompany him if ever I send him overseas?"**

I was taken a back by the sudden request, and falls silent.

**"Mew, you know I trust you and only you, that's why I requested your father for this favor. And also, think of this as a way for both of you to become closer, before the merging of our company takes place."**

He solemnly looked at me as if awaiting for my positive reply. Of course, how can I deny the fact that the idea seems promising. I don't need to think twice but I'm worried about how Kana will take this.  
I am thrilled by the thoughts of us being alone together.

I inhaled abruptly and answer in the most calm voice I can muster, hiding my eagerness.

"Yes uncle, I will. Don't worry, I won't let anything like this happen again."  
I said it dead seriously.  
\-------------------------------------  
I came back to Kana's room to check on him and found him sleeping peacefully.  
I walked slowly towards him and sit beside his bed, drinking in all of his magnificent beauty. He is such a pretty man.

I can't help myself not to touch his plump cheeks.  
I softly brushed his face and tucked a strand of hair into his ear. His face now regains its pinkish glow.

_You really got me worried there nong*. I promise not to let this happen again. I swear in seven hells, I'll gonna find that man for your peace of mind._

My gaze dropped down to his pink, puckered lips. It looks so inviting, alluring, tempting me to have a taste.  
My heart beats faster..louder..

Badum

Badum

Badum

Before I knew it my fingers found it's way to his lower lip and lightly, tenderly brushed, tracing its outline..

_My god, I really can't resist it._

There's no harm in taking a peck anyway, and he is sleeping now..so I delicately touched my lips into his soft folds just enough so I can inhale his subtle breath.

His intoxicatingly delightful lips sends shivers into my bones, my mind get clouded with ecstasy and I can't help but deepen the kisss, tasting it's sweet nectar of heaven..

I inhaled sharply due to the sudden rush of heat that travelled from my lips, to my heart and it didn't stop there, it continues to go downward finding my crotch.

I jolted in amazement by the sudden impact of the kiss into my system. So before I could do anything beyond my control, I collected my self together and stepped away from him, taking deep breaths as I seated on the farthest corner of the room. I need him away from my arms reach.

_How I wish.._

I wish he knew how much I needed him, how I ache to trap him in my arms, engulf him in a tight hug, let him feel how much I wanted him. To let him wonder how I survived this long without him..how much I have waited to be this close to him..But I also know the fact that I can't.

Not yet.

My mind is exploding with so much thoughts that I close my eyes in pain.

_Soon, my sweet Kana..soon._

_***************************_

A/N:

😙

-phinutz


	4. TRANQUILITY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thousand came..  
> Some hundreds attempted..  
> Everyone seem to want a piece of me..  
> No one, no one has ever came beyond my high walls of armour.  
> But one look, and you can see through me.  
> One touch, you left me vulnerable.  
> And I should hate you for that.
> 
> \- GULF

  
_**********************************_

BASCO BATANES, THE PHILIPPINES

I stretch my numbed arms and aching back as I stepped out of the plane that transported us from the main land Manila, to this breathtaking paradise before my eyes.  
The view from the plane alone is enough to take my breath away. I've never been to a place like this before. The air is fresh and cool winds greeted my exhausted body. Almost five hours of travelling and I'm already missing my bed.

When my mother said that I am having a vacation and it's going to be overseas, my heart went frantic with excitement. Not because of the 'overseas' thing, but because of the word VACATION. I can finally have some alone time, cocooned in a blanket, tapping non-stop on my computer and with a hot chocolate drink beside me. It doesn't matter wherever it would take place, I don't really care, I won't be going outside of the house anyway, as long as I have my gadgets with me, the place doesn't really matter. The only downside of this trip was the annoying bodyguard my mom insisted on being my companion. It would've been better if phi Bester was the one with me instead, but phi must take care of those either postponed or cancelled events I am accountable for.

Mom suggested that it would be better for me to get out of the country for the time being while my father hunts and take care of the stalker for me. She then suggested we go to this remote island in the country of The Philippines, the home town of Ms. Lhyn, my mother's personal makeup artist for 5 years. I just nodded in agreement , any defiance won't do me good anyway.

The three and a half hours travel from Thailand to The Philippines was spent with me eating, gaming on my mobile phone or sleeping. The tall man beside me was silent all throughout the journey which I am very thankful for. I have no intention of talking to him, even thou I somewhat feel at ease with him, he is still a stranger to me.

He was wearing a black plain Gucci polo shirt and denim jeans with a white Skechers adaptor shoes. His hair was parted in the middle and elegantly styled, he looks spotless. He doesn't look like a bodyguard at all.

_Hmm, you got some style.. Okay, I give you that._

Then I looked down on my own attire, well, I don't appear so bad myself if I may say, my pink hooded Balenciaga sweater fits perfectly on me giving my reflection a soft glow. I choose to wear my favorite Tom Ford black jeans for comfort and paired it with a white Air Jordan III OG, thus gathering a couple of glances and gasps from a great number of passengers and on lookers. Some may have recognized me, but no one dared approach.

I don't pay so much thought with the attention I am gaining but with the man beside me, it's a different story. I can see him glare at anyone who gawks at me longer than two seconds. And every time I hear a soft giggle around, his smooth neck almost snaps in search of its source.

Maybe, that's the reason why he purposefully given me an aviator shades. I just laugh it off inside. To see how funny he looks being over-suspicious brings so much entertainment to me, I wonder why.

_Huh, how'd you like that mofo?_   
_Tired already nah?..🤭_

When we arrive in mainland, which I found out to be the city of Manila, I thought I was going to puke because the place is so congested, swarming with busy people all around, noises I can't recognize. Three minutes upon arrival, I feel so nauseous that I grabbed Mr. Suppasit's forearm for support.

 **"Kana, are you okay?"**  
He asked with evident concern in his voice.

"No. I'm feeling sick. Please get me out of here Mr."

He tightens his grip on my shoulder and guided me to a less crowded area where we sit as we wait for-

_Wait a minute, what are we waiting for anyway? Im getting fucked up here._

"Uhm, what are we waiting for Ms. Lhyn? Can't we get out of here right now?"

I asked the lady who's wearing a black loose T shirt with a bunny design upfront and a skimpy too-short -for-my-liking kind of denim shorts paired with black sneakers. Cat-ear designed headwear on her hair.Apparently, that's the fashion trend here in her country.

 **"We are waiting for our next flight sir, the one that will take us to our island in Batanes."**  
She answered cheerfully. Her eyes dancing with excitement.

I closed my eyes in exhaustion. When suddenly, something cold touches the back of my hand and I jolt in surprise.

 **"Here, drink up"**  
Mr. Suppasit brought a cold bottle of water without me even noticing him leaving my side.   
My fingers brushed his as I get the bottle from him.

The three of us then boarded another plane to get to the said Island. I don't really pay much attention to where we are going, as long as it is isolated and I won't encounter any human activity what so ever .

About an hour later, my attention was caught by the greenery I saw outside the window. Below us were folds and folds of green mountains, fields and never ending blanket of blue ocean. I was mesmerized by its beauty. So serene, it calms my anxious heart.   
\---------------------------------------------  
After stretching my aching back and legs,

"Okay, where's the accomodation?  
Do we have a residence somewhere inhere?"  
I asked Ms. Lhyn with enthusiasm, I can't wait to take a hot bath and sleep on a bed.

**"Well we're gonna ride a habal habal sir to get to the villa your parents rented. Im afraid we can't find any properties for sale here so your mom ended up renting a villa instead..and its just a 30 minute ride from here.And after you've settled, I'm going home to our baranggay in Sabtang, to visit my family."**

"What's a habal habal?"

**"Its a motorcycle sir, over there."**   
**She said pointing out to three single motorcycles.**

"What?? We're going to ride in that? But I don't know how to drive."

 **"Don't worry sir, they are the drivers, and we are the passengers."**  
She pointed to the three men standing nearby, looking at us curiously.

My brow peaked up higher than the mountain upon hearing that. I can't fathom the idea of riding something with a stranger so close like that. There's no way in seven hells I'll gonna do that!

"Are you kidding me? Are there no alternate route whatsoever?"  
I looked at Mr. Suppasit and his face is unreadable.

"Are you okay with this?"  
I asked him directly with a scowl on my face.

 **"As long as it's okay with you, I'm fine with anything."**  
He answered coldly that garnered a rolling eyes from me.

 **"I'm afraid there's no other way of transportation at this time sir. I'm so sorry, I didn't think about this ahead of time."**  
Ms. Lhyn said teary eyed. I can see that she really means no harm.   
But, I'll be dead before we even arrive at our destination.What am I suppose to do?

 **"I have a suggestion."**  
Mr. Suppasit suddenly said, raising his right hand.

The lady and I looked at him in unison.

 **"Are you okay riding the motorcycle with me? I can be your driver. I'm quite capable if you may ask. And the other driver may ride with the other one so that he can get back the motorcycle after we disembark at the villa."**  
He stared at me directly in the eyes as if weighing the possibilities of me saying no.

I thought about it, considering the situation and my exhaustion.

_Am I really okay riding with him? Kinda, YES. Do I have a choice? NO._   
_Riding with him sounds promising than with a total stranger._

I exhaled sharply, and said "Okay, its fine with me. Let's do that."

Ms. Lhyn talked to the drivers in her native tongue and explained the circumstances. The two other drivers laugh with amusement but agreed upon. We rented a carabao with a cart to carry our luggage, but as per the native  
man named Nong nAtok? or was it manong Natok?..I can't really remember, he said our luggage might arrive later because, obviously ,motorcycles are way faster than carabaos.

We started the ride to the villa.  
Mr. Suppasit first mounted the big bike, his biceps and thigh muscles bulging in his clothes. Awkwardly, I rode behind him, Unsure where should I put my hands to grasp for support.

He must have felt my hesitation,  
He turned around and in a soft whisper..

**"Please hold on to my waist."**

"What?! No way!"

**"Do you wanna fall or what?"**

"I won't fall, You're not my type."  
I said with a smirk. Im not trying to be funny here.

He chuckled in response,  
 **"Huh..let's see about that, but first.. Safety."**  
He said grabbing my hands and tucking it in his waistline. Then started the mechanism.

The ride was almost smooth, we go past some amazing land formations, slopes, limitless greenery, cows everywhere, the wind fanning my face as I was clingging tightly into the hard abs of Mr. Suppasit, I can feel his muscles shifting in every turn the motorcycle takes, my nose is so close to his nape and I am unintentionally inhaling his wonderful scent..sending unexplainable shivers down my spine..and for the first time in my life,

I feel ALIVE.

  
\--------------------------------------------------  
VILLA DE BABAT

  
We arrived at the two storey villa, and it looks homey. The soft glow of light from the inside gives it a very welcoming ambiance. Its nearly dark but I see the indoor pool, the terrace and the view deck at the rooftop.  
My lips broke in a triumphant smile.

_This will be my piece of heaven for the next few weeks.. Ah..thank you mae._

Ms. Lhyn ushered us towards the entrance. The house is really homey, it gives that feeling of peacefulness. It is dead quiet.. I can only hear the buzzing of night crickets..

After the little house tour and some getting to know the househelps which apparently there are two of them, I finally get to retire into my room.

But i was left speechless upon opening the door, inside are two beds opposite each other. One is bigger than the other.. I immediately   
withdraw thinking I found the wrong room, and In a fast twist to turn back, I almost collide with the rock solid chest of Mr. Suppasit.

  
"Aow, Mr. Suppasit, what the hell?"

**"Im sorry, but where are you going? And for christs sake, it's Mew. Please stop calling me Mr. It makes me feel older."**

"Ew? Are you not older? Tss, anyway, I think im in the wrong room. Is this your room? why do you need two beds? And, where is mine?"

**"Yes, you are correct, this is my room. But you are also not mistaken, because this will also be your room."**

"Alaiwa?! No way!"

 **"Yes way..So go now, wash up while the house help prepares dinner. I'll wait for our luggage outside."**  
He tousled my hair before he turn around..  
He left me dumbfounded after that.

_Why does he talk to me like that? As if he is my boss? What am I to you? Are you fuckin kidding me?._

\-------------------------------------------------  
It's ten in the evening and I just finished taking a shower. The dinner was adequately prepared and after a hot bath, my body aches to finally rest and sleep. Maybe I'll just try to message my game friends tommorrow.

I sit at the side of the bed, the bigger one, as I was drying my hair. At the end, Mr. - _tss,_ Mew won the argument as to why we should be staying in one room. Of course I was against it. Im not comfortable at all..To think that I'll be sharing a room with a-..

_Okay, he's not a stranger anymore.._   
_but, what if?...what if what?.._   
_Tss, im getting paranoid for nothing.._

The soft blowing of the wind from the open window slowly making me drowsy..the sound of the night crickets feels like a lullaby lulling me to sleep.  
One moment I was sitting on the bed drying my hair, then lying on my back the next..closing my eyes slowly..  
Dozing off into a deep slumber.

I haven't had the chance to realize that someone is watching me.. A pair of eyes staring with such fervor heavens would be jealous.  
And that same someone unhurriedly   
makes his way towards my sleeping   
frame..

**"The things I want to do to you..I wish you knew..how could I? How could I not?."**

************************************

....................................................  
MAX: Hey! Give me my sexy time already!!😠  
GOOP: Gupie is scared..🥺  
..................................................  
😅

Credits to GUIDE TO THE PHILIPPINES web page.  
Thank u🤗  
-phinutz


	5. FLIRTING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never crave attention, until I tasted yours.
> 
> -GULF

**********************************  
My first week in the island has been spent with gaming, gaming and gaming. I contacted my friends back in Thailand and we've been playing since day one. I'm having the best time of my life in three years. My parents called me once, two days after we arrived on the Island. It's also a bonus that the ever stern Mew has been cooperative by not meddling in my business. I don't know what he has been up to these days and I don't give a damn. The only time in a day that I see him is when it is time to eat. Sometimes I joined him in the dining area, sometimes I was so focused in the game that he will bring the food to my room- er, our room. I can totally do this for the rest of my life.

But my days of bliss ended up too soon when Ms. Lhyn came back from visiting her family. She offered to give us a tour in the island. She also said her parents are inviting us over for a little thanks giving dinner, which immediately raised an alarm in my mind.

"I don't think I like the idea. I'm sorry to turndown the invitation but, I'm not really a sociable person."

"I guarantee you will enjoy the beauty of Batanes sir, this is one of the premiere tourist's spots in the Philippines. Besides, it's not every day that you can visit our country, right?"

"But still-"

"And about dinner, it'll be us and my family only. my parents and my two younger siblings. We didn't disclose your arrival with anyone of my relatives, I swear."

Her eyes were literally begging, asking for approval.  
I am torn between granting her request and being selfishly comfortable in my own sanctuary.  
She has been nothing but a loyal attendant to me and my mother. How can I refuse her? but still-

"Don't worry scaredy cat, I'm going with you. No one can harm you as long as I am around."  
Mew, who has been silent all this time probably, felt my hesitation, said with a lot of conviction in his voice.

"Of course you must protect me. Duh! It's your frickin' job.. what I'm saying is, Im not sure I can handle the conversation, what if I accidentally offended them?"

"And that is why basically, what I do am saying is stop whining. Just go,I'll take care of the rest.."

"and what if I don't want to go? What would you do?"

"I'll tell your mother that we are done here. I'll tell her that your vacation is enough, and you can go back to your busy celebrity life. You want that?"  
He smirked, annoyingly looking at me like im a piece of sausage.

"piss off! Fine, ill go! Tss.. sucker"

So, that was your trump card huh?..now I know.  
Tss, annoying bastard.

I chose to wear a pair of comfy gray- pink Jenim Jeans cotton jogger pants and sweater. It's perfect for the windy weather. A Nike slippers for my feet and im good to go.

When I go out of the villa, Mew is already waiting for me at the garage. I must admit he looks dashing.  
I unconsciously scanned his profile from the white Skecher sneakers, to the white cargo shorts, and the moss green Calvin Klein cotton hoodie shirt,..when my eyes travelled higher to his face, I interlocked with his warm gaze and it is quite disturbing. It brings shivers to my bones and I can feel hot blood crept all over my face. Having caught scrutinizing is a little embarassing.

I raise my brow to smirk at him and roll my eyes, that's when I noticed the parked owner-type jeep beside the bastard.

"Aow, where did you find a wrangler? I thought we'll gonna ride a whats that again? Haban haban?"

Ms. Lhyn and Mew laughed together..  
"Its habal habal sir., anyway, Mr. Mew rented this jeep for your convenience while touring the island, so, shall we?"

Ms. Lhyn and I seated at the back as she explains to me everything about the tourist spots, a digital camera swingging on her neck, while Mew drives the wrangler.

Our first stop was the 66-ft Basco Lighthouse. The view from the tower was really magnificent!. I can almost see the half of the island in its soft blanket of green grass.  
We visited next a church, a japanese tunnel..Then we travelled thru what they called Vayang rolling hills. I am enjoying the different layers of green and grazing livestock when suddenly, a soft country music played in the built in stereo.

Happy Anywhere by Blake shelton and Gwen Stefani.

_ I've always been a rolling stone With a reckless streak Yeah, the grass never gets too grown Underneath my feet The city lights, southern stars No such thing as gone too far _

For the first time in years, my face broke into a vibrant smile..  
I feel giddy, happy, contented..  
This is what I am always craving for.  
This kind of calmness.  
No crowds of fans.  
Away from the flashes of camera  
I rest my head on the back of the driver's seat where Mew is sitting..  
and I closed my eyes, inhaling the familiar spicy fresh citrus scent of his cologne.

_ I'm running wide open _   
_ I was born with my feet in motion _   
_ But since I met you, I swear _   
_ I could be happy anywhere _   
_ Any mapped out location _   
_ You're always my destination _   
_ You're the only thing that I'm chained to. _   
_ I could be happy anywhere _   
_ I could be happy anywhere with you. _

\------------------------------------------------  
I woke up with a shake on my shoulder. My eyes widen with surprise as Mew's vibrant face is hovering over really close to my face. I can't believe I slept through the trip.

"Where are we?"  
I said briskly rubbing my sleepy eyes, yawned and stretched. I gently massaged my neck, it hurts a little.

"We're riding a boat now, come."  
Mew supported me as I unload out of the wrangler. His right hand lightly touching my elbow and the left rests on the hollow of my waist. I cringed at the contact, but didn't say anything. He stayed like that until I have safely boarded the boat. I feel like a fucking girl what the heck?

He seated beside me, and kept quiet all throughout the one and a half hour journey. Just a sneak peek at my direction every now and then, while I enjoyed the ride. I love the smell of the ocean breeze fanning my face making my hair tangled which Mew comb later with his fingers.

"Hey! Will you stop that? Stop touching my hair.. whats with you today? Stop treating me like a girl."  
I scowl at him.

"Im not treating you like a girl, im just making sure you're safe and looks presentable. And don't scowl too much, you do look like one when you do that."  
His voice near my ear as soft as a whisper sending shivers down my spine. This random feeling is beginning to piss me off.

Why am I reacting this way?

Upon arriving at the next island, Mew hand me over a black aviator shades, to protect my eyes from the afternoon sun which I accepted. I really need it especially in a strange place like this, I am beginning to feel conscious with my surroundings, despite the fascinating beauty of the white sand beach. We started to descend the short distance towards a little cute house made of amazing stone structures. A lot of things running through my mind and Mew must have caught up with what im feeling because he holds my arm and guided me as we walk past the bed of Bermuda grass. The trail towards the entrance door was lined with blossoming red and yellow flowers I don't recognize, but it was really pleasing to the eyes.

An old man and a woman welcomed us in the doorway, they have a very delighted smile on their faces, probably 40-50 years of age.The old man shakes my hand and the old lady hugged me cheerfully. They were both very pleasant.

"Sir, these were my parents, papa Jong and mama Meri."  
Said Ms. Lhyn.

"Welcome! Welcome to our house. Err. How are you? We are fine thank you!"  
Says papa Jong and I shyly smiled even thou im about to laugh at the funny accent.

"Naku anak, ito na ba ang boss mo na artista?Abay napaka guapo naman pala talaga.."  
I confusingly looked at Ms. Lhyn, I didn't understand any bit of what the old lady has uttered. Im not a walking translator here.

"She said, you're so handsome sir, im sorry, its not very often that my parents see a celebrity around here, I apologize on behalf of my mother if that makes you uncomfortable."

"Aow, its ok, thank you so much for appreciation khun pom, khun mae..khob khun kap!"  
I wai and bowed at them politely. The nervousness im feeling earlier was slowly disappearing.  
Mew also wai at them and shake hands with the elders..

They ushered us to come inside the house and I can say, this structure is really astonishing. Ms. Lhyn noticed me looking closely at the walls and told me the story behind those boulders, Fascinated was an understatement.

In the dining table, I met the two siblings of our host, the 2nd child, Juno-23 and the third, Marie-19.  
Juno was like me, a quiet type, but Marie was the opposite. She kept asking anything at me, which was answered by either Ms. Lhyn or Mew.

"Anak, napaka guwapo talaga ng amo mo ay.. Ito ba e may gelpren na? Nako anak akitin mo na at baka maunahan ka pa."- mama Meri

"Ma, ano ka ba, nakaka hiya.🤭 mas matanda ako ng tatlong taon at diyos na mahabagin, baka katayin ako ni madam Nuch pag nilandi ko ang unico ijo, pero malay mo, mainlab ito sa akin habang nandito." -Lhyn

I looked at them upon hearing my mothers name..they smiled back at me , and that's a good thing right?  
I looked back at Mew, his eyes were on the food and smiling too.  
I guess they are talking something good about my family.

"Ay ate kung ayaw mo e ako nalang.hindi ko iyan hihindian, actually kahit sino sa kanilang dalawa..ahihi..ampopogi. Laman tyan yan.siguradong mabubusog ako, pati pitaka ko." -Marie

"Diyaskeng bata ito, magtigil ka at ke bata mo pa, kung ano ano pinagsasabi mo."-mama Meri

"Kayo nga ai magsitigil, kung naiintindihan kayo niyan ai nakakahiya..come on son, eat..eat a lot."

Papa Jong gave me more food on my plate and I smiled back at him.

"Ay anak, dalhin natin sila sa bayan, nang makapamiyesta ang ating mga bisita. Sabihin mo bukas na sila ma uwe at dito na matulog." - mama Meri

"Uhm, Sir Gulf, would you like to come with us at the city center to watch the fiesta parade?.you see, today is the first Vakul-Kanayi festival in Batanes, there are a lot of street dance competition and talent shows.. would you like to see that?don't worry, it's a little crowded but not too crowded like in Thailand."- Lhyn.

"Well,I- I don't think I c-can."  
I glanced at Mew with disapproving look, raising my left brows so that he'll get what I mean. But to my dismay..

"Of course we'll go..it's fine..right Kana?"  
Answered the asshole, smiling at me sweetly, I want to poke his eyes.

Why you-?Wtf?

"Ahehe, yes of course, thank you for invitation khun papa Jong, khun mama Meri."  
I have no choice but to wai politely.  
Then, under the table I pinched at his thigh in annoyance.

"Aow!"  
Mew snapped in surprise standing up rather quickly, and everyone on the table looked at him curiously.

"Aow, nothing, i think I saw a gecko on the wall., Im afraid of geckos..sorry." -Mew

"Ate ano yung giku?"- Marie

"Butiki yon neng..butiki.."- Lhyn

That bursts everyone into a roar of laugher..I can't keep up with the conversation but from their expressions and interactions, i can tell, this is a cheerful family. And despite my awkwardness, I am thankful knowing them.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
I was now standing in a chair at the corner in front of the crowded plaza..  
Infront of me, Mew stands like a barricade. My hands were glued on his shoulders for support and reassurance I guess. I was brought here against my will, but I can't really complain upon seeing how lively the atmosphere were.

I saw wonderful performances , in colorful costumes. Even thou the natives were incomprehensible, the host of the show tried his best to speak in english for the foreigners who attended as well. Compared to my fan meetings, this number of people wasn't much, and so it lessens my nervousness.

Ms. Lhyns family is sitting nearby, papa Jong was now veet red due to excessive drinking of what they called  
Palek, some dark colored wine. He offered me earlier but I politely refused, being drunk in a strange place is not on my list.

The festival programs has now been ended and I thought we are going home, but part two of the celebration just started. Loud music played and some natives began dancing. Their bodies swaying, twisting, jumping, twirling in a very funny way. I can't help but laugh..

"Aren't you tired?"  
Mew looked up at me.

"No. I am enjoying the evening."

"We can sit with Lhyn's family you know. Their table were quite isolated from the others."

I thought about it and eventually agreed. So we sit together in a round table with Mew beside me and I am unconciously still holding his shirt.

When suddenly the music stopped, and the host spoke.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen. Ara ka mangu? (How are you). The night is still young, so we prepared a little surprise for all of you specially our foreign guests. We will be having an improntu talent contest for our foreign guests!.and, it is with a cash prize of 5 thousand pesos!.Isn't that amazing? But the catch is, our muse, will be the one picking up the contestants."  
He pointed at the cute girl wearing a red tank top and a white pleaded skirt in pumps I dont dare to measure. She has a white sash across her chest saying, MUSE.

"Is that fine with you ladies and gentlemen?"  
A round of applause evoked in the night and so it was decided.

So the MUSE started rounding tables and picking out contestant after contestants..all foreigners, and when she swung her head...  
caught my eyes..  
and started walking in the direction of our table,  
I swear I knew what that flirty little smile on her lips meant.

As i took a good look at her, she's quite dashing, a morena beauty.  
Her round eyes twinkling as if she just found her prey, her deep curls swinging as she walks sexily towards me, her red lips grinning widely.  
And when she leaned forward to grab my hand, someone's grip found hers instead. It was Mew.

"Off limits mam."  
He said rather darkly holding the Muse's wrist.

"Ow ,I- Im sorry, but would you mind joining instead?"  
She said flirtatiously at Mew ,which I don't know why, irritates me so bad.

Mew looked at me for approval but my eyes were on his hand still holding the girls wrist. My brows were automatically up high in the ceiling and he lets go of his grasp as if he was burned.

"Ugh!..do as you like. I don't own you or something.."  
I said nodding. But i can't seem to hold my temper, even when the lady smiled sweetly at me and guided Mew to the stage.

I was left vexated with the little family on the table, and as we watched the foreign aspirants tried their best to stir the audience, papa Jong offered me a glass of Palek which I dranked eagerly. I felt dehydrated.  
Some girl danced, some do a karate show off. Then it was Mew's turn. I wonder what he will be doing. Maybe ask the 'karate guy' for a sparring?

I was surprised when he walks towards the center stage hugging a guitar against his chest.

Really?!  
Does he even know how to play that thing?

Then he started playing a tune so smooth, calming, and all of my doubts disappear.. he was good, even better than most.and though foreign, I think I know the song..

_Lift your head, baby, don't be scared_   
_Of the things that could go wrong along the way_   
_You'll get by with a smile_   
_You can't win at everything but you can try._

I felt mesmerized.  
His voice soft yet cold..  
Warm and angled..  
I can't put in the right words..  
I just felt the butterflies in my belly..  
Thousands of them..

_Baby, you don't have to worry_   
_'Cause there ain't no need to hurry_   
_No one ever said that there's an easy way_   
_When they're closing all their doors_   
_They don't want you anymore_   
_This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway_

  


I really wonder why im feeling so light hearted..  
Im not even aware that papa Jong kept giving me a glassful of Palek. I lost count of how many I had been drinking until now..

_ Boy, I'll stay through the bad times _   
_ Even if I have to fetch you everyday _   
_ We'll get by with a smile _   
_ You can never be too happy in this life _

He sings as he is looking directly at me..as if conveying the feelings of the song..  
As if he can save me from my own fears..  
As if he owns my soul.

' _Cause in a world where everybody_  
 _Hates a happy ending story_  
 _It's a wonder love can make the world go 'round_  
 _But don't let it bring you down_  
 _And turn your face into a frown_  
 _You'll get along with a little prayer and a song_

_Let me hear you sing it._

I never noticed that the crowd started singing with him.  
Of course they know the song.  
Its an original.  
Good choice of song ai sat.

As he finished the song, a lot of audience especially ladies, squirm in unison, followed by a booming around of applause.  
He ended up the winner of the little game. Upon receipt of the prize money, I saw the lady muse cling into his arms as he walks towards our table. They look good together.

There came the familliar sting in my chest as I watch them talk cheerfully.  
It's not a nice view. And i downed another glass of Palek.

Really, what the hell?  
\----------------------------------------------  
I stirred in my sleep as I felt a heavy log-like object across my thigh.I tried to move both my arms but it was also stucked. So I slightly opened my eyes to see what it is pinning me down. And imagine my terror when i am greeted by Mew's sleeping face, his lips a few inches from mine. His sweet breath fanning my face..  
My body enveloped in his arms in a very tight hug, I can barely breath. And his leg was fixed across my thigh that's why I can't move. What happened? Why am I lying beside this bastard??

Shiaaaa!!!!!

***********************************

🤭  
Sorry not sorry..  
Cliff hanger. 🙋♀️  
Next chapter R-18!!!  
Read at your own risk...  
Sorry for misfit infos about the place, im not a native and had a limited research resources..bear with me please..🙏  
Comment down suggestions and violent reactions..😊  
-phinutz


	6. TEMPTED (18+)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tempted. Like a moth to the lamp. I'd rather be burned. How can I say no.. to the warmth in your arms?  
> I can deny everything, even myself....except you.
> 
> MEW

_************************************_  
I fixed the sheets of the bed as I placed down Kana carefully. He drank a plenty earlier and I was the one to blame. Have I not been distracted with the amusing event, this mightn't happened.

When I get back to the table, Kana was already wasted, slumped on the chair. I touched his warm face and I saw him flushed red. So I requested Lhyn to go back home right away.

She guided me to a guest room and gave me everything I asked, including a basin with lukewarm water and a towelette. Then she left us to attend to his equally drunk father.

A gentle drissle of rain started to fall outside the window as I soaked the cloth in the basin of water and started wiping Kana's face.  
He looks so angelic lying carelessly like this. His cheeks feels warm to the touch. Then there's his lips again..  
enticing..beguiling me to move forward..to have a taste..

_Nah, I must not._

When suddenly, his right arm reached up, finding the collar of my shirt and dragging me harshly forward, an inch away from the poison of his lips.

**"Mine.."**

He whispered softly, breath of wine into my lips making me feel drunk as well.

_Fuck!_

As he probably goes back to slumber, his hands slowly slipped down and I tried to moved away, but this time, his left hand reached out and snaked at my nape, finding the curls of my hair..he unconciously caressed it lightly.  
I turned to look at his face, his eyes were closed hence mine are burning with desire.

 **"You're mine. D-dont go."**  
Came another whisper that broke down all my resolve.

That's it. .  
 _I can't do this anymore._  
 _Im sorry mae._  
 _Fuck this Kana!_

I closed my eyes in final surrender then attacked the lips that has been seducing me. With all the pent up desire i have been hiding, I kissed his lips hungrily..  
tasting..  
devouring..  
taking everything that I could get.  
I slipped my tongue through his open lips, and sucked his sweet sweet nectar. At first there's no response from him, but after a while I felt him responding to my kisses and that added fuel to my burning desire..  
Seems like I cant get enough of this chestnut lips, I kissed him hard..harder..  
never caring if that same sweet lips get swollen in the process.

_Ugghh you tease ..its your fault._

The soft drizzle outside now became a pouring rain..pouring hard on the roof, Like my burning passion. My lips travelled from his sweet mouth to his cheeks, nose, forehead, the shallow of his neck..  
That oh so damn neck..  
inhaling his intoxicatingly seductive smell.  
I really want to bite that skin..i want to leave a mark.  
To let him know i have been there..but no.  
I cant do that with him half conscious.

My pestering mouth travelled south..raising his sweatshirt above his head, making him half naked before my longing eyes. He is indeed so beautiful..   
My eyes travelled through his smooth chest , without any signs of chest hair at all.

_Is he really a man?_

My hands gently traced his body going downward..  
Finding his nipples on the way..  
Puckered nipples seems so inviting, wanted to be sucked, and so I did.  
A low pitched moan leaves his lips as I attacked on his right nipple while playing with the left, rounding it under my fingers. I sucked with such hunger the nipple nearly plucked off his chest.

That was never enough to satiate my hunger..my hands found the soft skin of his belly, as if with their own minds, my fingers crossed the distance and feel the hardness between his thighs. I draw my breath sharply as the tingling sensation travelled from my fingertips to my chest down to my groin.

A silent growl escapes my throat at the magnitude of my thirst. I can't backdown now, I just can't. All hell may come after me for all I care, but not today.

I began to trail kisses from his belly button, as I slowly sliding down his pants and underpants at the same time..his fingers intertwined with my hair. I freed his hardened cock from the confines of his boxer briefs, as I inhaled his musky odor, making my blood run wild.

_Oh the things I want to do to you..._   
_Do you realize? Hhmmm?_

I returned to attack his lips again vigoriously, uncaring if he wakes up in the middle of my assault. As I slowly began to work wonders on his erection..  
Kana began squirming ,his body responding to my touch..raised his chest, his head bobbing from left to right but his eyes remained closed..  
The up and down motion I am doing brings his love rod to an almost purple shade, a drop of precum on its tip , thus making me want to taste it.  
I am his servant, and so again, I did..

So ever slowly, I licked his shaft.   
Closing my eyes from the sweet tangy flavour.  
I licked from the bottom of his family jewels, tracing his pulsating glands up to the tip, gently swirling around it.  
That stirred the sprawled Kana on the bed, his hands clasped tightly on the bedsheet..his rugged breathing becoming a series of whines and moans..

I swallowed the cum gun slowly, dis appearing into the depths of my greedy mouth..  
I can feel it twitching, as hard as a rock.   
I pulled it out then dive again, repeating a couple of times, getting faster, harder at each gulp.  
I keep fucking him with my mouth until I can feel he is about to come..  
I sucked harder.. Giving him the ultimate pleasure I myself is dying to receive.  
All of a sudden, Kana grab my hair, pulled at it rather tightly..  
then convulsed, at the same time his sweet cum came rushing into my mouth..He quiverred a couple of times while I gulp down all his glorious cum.

Kana gets back to his deep sleep and  
After a couple of minutes, I stood up, wiped the corners of my mouth.  
I really want to take him right there, right now..but not in this state.  
I won't make love to a sleeping drunk person..

So I run for the restroom to take care of myself there.

_Soon..my boy, I'll make you swim in my own cum..soon.._

*********************************

😱  
Oh my god Mew!.  
I don't know what to say..

🤭  
🙃  
\- phinutz


	7. CONFUSION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't even explain to you how good it feels to look up across the room and see you standing there.  
> It's when I feel you, look at you or think about you that I find myself not able to breath. Even thou I know I would be just fine, because all I need to inhale is you. And you're not going anywhere, right?  
>  -GULF

  
**********************************

It's been two days since we get back from the Sabtang island, and it's been two days that im having a difficulty in sleeping. Usually, when I get tired from gaming, I'll just lie on my bed and I'll instantly falls into a deep slumber. But last night, and tonight were extra ardous trying to sleep. It's like my body cannot sleep on it's own and my mind seems to wander off somewhere, in a semi dark room on a rainy night. I think I need to remember something important, but I cannot.

The bed opposite mine was empty, and it's already 11pm. I have been meaning to ask Mew what happened that night I lost control of myself and get drunk unintentionally. I've been meaning to ask why I woke up entangled with him on the bed, but I'm reluctant as it would be pretty awkward on my part. I don't remember anything at all, except that I had a very disturbing dream. A wet dream.

The little twat between my legs started to get hard, I let out a sigh and stand up towards the lanai to have a breath of fresh air, this might help me clear my thoughts.  
The night wind is chilly outside, but it gives a certain feeling of refreshment to my wandering soul.

When suddenly, I heard a splash of water below, I looked down and found someone swimming on the pool.  
It's quite dark with only a little light coming from the porch. It is dark but I can clearly see who is taking a late night dip, as If I have known his body all this time. It's Mew.

I wonder what he is thinking swimming this late at night. He could get sick because of the cold weather, but what do I care?.

He is a good swimmer. His every stroke is precise and accurate. The silhouette of his body screams perfection in the water and I can almost see his every muscle movement. Is he some kind of a merman? How did he learn to swim gracefully like that?..  
He swam through the water without much disturbance he is like a scissor on a sheet of paper..folding through the surface..so calming to watch.

As I observe his languid movements, something stirred inside of my chest. I felt something warm like a hand slowly stroking my heart. But in contrast, my heart starts to beat faster, and louder..and the warmth became heat. Tiny sweats beginning to form on my forehead, and I can't help but to feel uneasy. My dick which has calmed for a while is hardening again.

_What? Dont tell me I am lusting after that jerk? Tss... No way!_

I decided to move out of the veranda and go inside catching a last glimpse of Mew surfacing out of the water and brushing his hair and face with his veiny hands in a very seductive way.

_I think I need a shower._

_\-------------------------------------------_  
Days passed by and the uneasiness I am feeling, begin to grow each day, turning into Irritation. I am annoyed at how I constantly feel empty being alone in the room. A month ago, All I want is to be alone in the confines of my room, play video games, watch movies, read a book, sleep. Everything that I do, I learned and used to do alone. I don't want anybody else hovering around me, constantly checking on me or disturbing me.

But why am I so curious where Mew has been going the whole day? Or what has he been doing all this time?. Why isn't he staying on the room when I am awake?  
Why do I fall asleep without him, only to wake up in the middle of the night to find him soundly sleeping on his bed. Other times my doziness would fly into the wind and just lie there awake, looking at his sleeping figure, his hair, his broad shoulders, the curves of his waist and the bulking thighs.,I would stare for hours then falls back to sleep un noticed.  
But when I wake up in the morning, he's just not there anymore.

Why do I feel like he is avoiding me? Even my food is being delivered to my room by the house help. He no longer knock on the door in the middle of a game to request me to join him in the dining area.  
And the worst thing is, even thou I feel like im being abandoned, my mind seems to always wander into him. Asking, Where is he?. What is he doing?.

In just a week, Now I feel bored alone. I can't focus on the game. I'm always defeated so my team mates were all displeased with my performance. They said I should take a rest for a while, maybe Im just tired.

I throw the console I am holding at the monitor in front of me and drink the strawberry juice at the bedside table, the one brought up by the house help with an egg sandwich.

I looked out the window then I remembered the hills, the green fields and the wandering cattles of the island. I remember how my hair danced in the wind and suddenly, I feel the urge to go outside..I need to go somewhere, I need to breath.

So i stood up and headed for the door. I plan on sitting at the backyard garden, or swimming on the pool. Anything to distract me from my maddening thoughts.

That's when I stumbled upon Mew at the living room. He is wearing a navy blue hooded shirt with white stripes on its sleeves. He is stuffing something on his equally dark blue cargo shorts. I noticed a backpack lying on the cream sofa. Is he going somewhere? I can't help myself but to speak out my mind.

"Are you going somewhere?"

He looked up at me in surprise.  
 **"Hey, uhm..yeah."**

"Where to?"

**"You remembered that muse at the plaza?Her name is Nami, she invited me to join her on hiking today. Since im not doing anything, I agreed. I plan to tell you after I finished packing "**

"And how about me? You're leaving me here alone? When you're supposed to guard me?"

_You're guarding someone else now huh?._

I don't know why my heart sank that way. Maybe I'm just used to being possesive of the things and people around me.

**"I called Mr. Traipipattanapong to ask permission and he says he don't see any danger here anyway so I may go. Besides, you want to be alone, so I'll leave you be."**

My mind drifted into a scene where that girl Nami, links her arms around Mew's biceps. The way she and the dick looked at each other and laughs heartily. Also the way she stroked Mew's arms tips me over the edge of self control.

I exhaled a burst of air and in a snap of a second, decided to go with him.

"May I go with you?"  
I see him hesitate for a while.  
Maybe he really is avoiding me?  
Maybe he wants some alone time with that Nami girl?

**"Are you sure? Have you gone hiking before?"**

"No, but I want to try it now. Is that so bad?"

**"Not really-...wait let me make a call first."**

He said and started to dial on his mobile phone. After sometime, someone answered. I know I should be leaving, not listening to someone else's conversation, but I'm curious and I can't help it.

**"Hello Nami?can we switch from a major hike to a beginner one? Uh.. No ,I just don't feel like hiking a major one today..okay..thank you so much."**

_So, they have each others mobile number huh?_

"Is that switch of location because of me?"  
I asked curiously as he put down the phone.

**"Obviously yes, well, go now take a bath and I'll start packing your things as well."**

I turned around and go back to my room with an elated mood. A triumphant smile playing on my lips.

 _This'll gonna be a lot of fun!_  
\------------------------------------------------  
The boat ride towards the island we'll be hiking is quite a rough one. The wind is strong and I, not once stumbled on my seat and find myself being held by Mew tightly.

 **"I got you."**  
He whispered in my ear for the third time.  
And i don't know what to reply, nor why am I feeling excited with the thought of Mew holding me and Nami is looking sideways at us, interest in her face. I like this, I like this closeness. He asks me if im feeling okay every now and then..I can't help but smile in secret as I noticed Mew never let go of my waist until we docked on the island.

The trekking into the mountain began. The first part of the climb was a little easy, it's just plains of grassy land, I walk rather easily, enjoying the beautiful scenery while Mew and Nami are having a little talk about nonsense things im not interested about. I walk a few feet ahead of them never minding how two sets of eyes were glued at my back.

The next part was the challenging one as we begin to ascend the stiff rocky formations towards the top. And boy! It's difficult. Mew said it is for beginners but, its been only an hour and my legs are already aching. I can see Nami's back ahead of us together with her two friends I didn't remember the names.

Beads of sweat begin to form in my forehead, thou the weather is technically chilly up here, Im sweating all over my body. As per Mew, he looks really calm, as if he is having a walk in the park, not a drop of sweat on his face.

Halfway through the assault, I motion for Mew to stop. I take a seat in one of the rocks, while my dry-fit jersey is now soaking with sweat.

" **Are you okay?"**  
Mew asked as he offer me a bottle of water.

"Wait a minute, I'll just take a rest for a bit."  
Now I am regretting my decision of coming here with him. How stupid of me to meddle with two persons affairs. I can sense that Nami likes Mew as she continously looked at us even thou we fall behind a little too far. She constantly shouting if everything is okay and when Mew answered her, she will give him a sweet smile. That makes me roll my eyes, thou I don't know why did I even do that.

_Flirt bitch._

After taking a short break, We continued to hike up as Mew kept on supporting me. Taking my hand on stiff parts. Asking me to take care in every step im taking. Even getting rid of plants or weeds along the way that might get to touch my skin.

 **"Take care of your steps, the rocks are slipery."**  
He said holding my hand.

"There you go again, you're treating me like a girl. Stop it."

**"Im not, im just taking care of you or else your parents might kill me. You didn't ask their permission for this right?"**

"Yeah whatever!"

After 2 hours or so, we finally get to the top of the mountain. The scenery is so amazing. I can see the whole island. It's grassy lands, the cliffs towards the open sea..The wind touching my face smells of sea and grass. The clouds high above looks magnificent as a flock of birds hovering above us.

This is what I needed. A fresh place. A serene view. The hard climb is all worth it..

**"Do you like it?"**

"What?"  
I jolt as Mew came beside me by surprise, I thought I saw him talking at the others about how beautiful this place is.

" **I asked If you like the view."**

"Yeah, I love it."

**"Me too, I love view."**

"What did you say??!"  
My neck hurts when I snapped to look at him.

" **I said me too, I love the view."**

"Ugh..okay. Stop mumbling words I might misunderstood."  
I murmur silently.

_I thought I heard him say I love you. What the heck?_

**"Huh?what did you say?"**   
**He asked back.**

"Nothing, never mind me."

He just looked at me and grinned.  
It's almost lunch time so we settled on the clearing at the summit. Mew laid a blanket on the ground a little bit far away from the others and took out a packed lunch for both of us.

"When did you packed a lunch?"

**"While you were taking a shower. The house helps packed this for me."**

"Aow, okay but why are we separated from the others?"

" **I thought you might prefer to stay away from strangers."**

"But you are a stranger as well, stipl you're here with me."  
I said jokingly.

Mew looked at me with a raised brow and a smug look on his face with a trace of disappointment on his eyes.

**"Really now? To think I even thought you probably like to hang out with me that's why you came along..tsk, it's okay, I'm a stranger who look after you then."**

"Ugh, what gave you the idea that I like to hang out with you? I just want to see a beautiful scenery for a change."

" **Okay, if you say so."**  
He answered not bothering to look at me.  
He became quiet after that. We just ate in silence and I never initiate a conversation again.  
I just enjoyed the soft breeze fanning my face and the sweet chirping of the birds. I didn't notice when did I started to zone out and fall asleep.

I just woke up when Mew gently shakes my shoulder to wake me up.  
His smiling face greeted me as I open my eyes. For a moment I was mesmerized, his hazel brown eyes shining in the afternoon sun, his straight nose and soft looking lips, I gulp in thirst. I blinked a couple of times to wake up from a drowsy state, and noticed, I am lying on my side while my head is on his lap.

_When the hell did I do that?_

I quickly sit up and stand woobly while Mew holds my arm to support me.

"Where are we?"

I asked looking around. We are still at the summit and the others are preparing to descend. They are packing their things back to their bags.

**"We are going back now..you slept after having lunch and you looked tired so I ask them to stay here for a while."**

I blushed In embarassment. How weak do I look now? but my inner self won't take that, So what if I slept? It's not like im a professional at this thing. A man also gets tired.

Mew stands up and started to gather our bags. Im actually carrying a chest sling bag while Mew carries the large backpack.

Our group started to trek down towards the foot of the mountain. The wind also started to blow a little harder, and I see some dark clouds formation above.

 **"We better hurry up Mew, or else we might get trapped in the rain. The rocks would get more slippery when wet."**  
Nami warns us as she goes ahead of us.

I thought the way down would be easier like going down the stairs, but I was wrong. It is extremely exhausting keeping your body from falling down. If it wasn't for Mew infront of me, I probably have fallen a couple of times. Thanks to his broad shoulders I got a steady grip.

When suddenly, I slipped on a rock and would've fallen face first if Mew wasn't fast enough to catch me.

 **"Steady, are you okay?"**  
He asked looking at my strained face.

My left ankle hurts like hell. I think I sprained it..

"I- I think I sprained my ankle."  
I said while trying to sit down on a rock. Mew holding my shoulders.

Nami came back and looked at me..  
" **Are you okay?"**

"Yeah im fine. Just tired, you may go ahead."

 **"Are you sure? The boys can carry you all the way down if you can't walk."**  
She suggested looking at her two male friends.

 **"No!"**  
Mew and I said in unison which caught her off guard.

"I mean, i can manage, you guys go ahead. It's not a biggie."  
I don't want to be a burden so I tried to stand up but I bit my lip as pain seered through my leg.

 **"Okay, Mew! We'll go ahead and wait for you at the dock okay? Take care of your steps."**  
Nami said as she look at Mew and me.

Mew's right hand is holding me tightly on my shoulder while the left is holding my hand over his shoulder.  
I tried to take a step but it is really painful.

 **"Sit down."**  
Mew said seriously.

I didn't utter a word of repulse as I was really in pain.  
He sit down infront of me and gently massaged my ankle, then he get a bottle of something I dont know what from the pocket of his cargo pants, sprayed in on my ankle then wrapped it with a handkerchief.

 **"It may take some time to effect. Lets stay here for a while."**  
He said.

"The others might leave us if we didn't hurry up."

**"No they won't. Im the one paying for the boat.".**

"Tss, show off."  
I snickered at him.

Mew sit down on a rock opposite mine. I was wondering if I could start a good conversation with him even thou we always ended up bickering with each other. I want to know him better, deeper, and yet un able to speak the words that I want to ask. Now might be my chance, so I tested the waters.

"Mew, do you have a family? Where are they?"  
I spoke quite softly as I gently massage my hurting ankle.

" **My mother died two years ago..and my father is staying at our ancestral house in Chiang Mai. I have a brother but..."**  
He is looking at the sky while speaking. His eyes were tender, when his words hung in mid air.

"But what?"

" **But he's not with us."**

"Uhh..okay, what about a girlfriend? do you have one?"  
This question, I must admit I am most curious about.

" **No**."

 _Shia.._  
I realized I wasn't breathing while waiting for his answer.

"Why?"  
I asked quietly.

" **Because there's none. What more can I say?"**  
His eyes darted to mine and my heart skipped a bit causing me to look away.

"Uhm, what is your past job? How did you became my bodyguard?"

 **"My father and yours are long time aquaintances. Two years ago, i got discharged off my duty after saving five comrades of mine in Syria. I was In a war."**  
My eyes automatically widens upon the revelation. I coudn't imagine him being a soldier at all, specially in a war with his gentle nature, how could he?.

"Oh, are you a soldier?"  
My curiousity hyped up..

He looked up at the sky again as if remembering something before answering my question.

" **Yes, I was part of the US Navy SEAL.**  
 **We were on a rescue mission and our operation got compromised. I tried to save as many as I can but only five of them make it thru. Your father then asked for a favor when he knew of my discharge, but it took me sometime to recover from Post war trauma. "**

"Ah, so that's why..Er-..is being my security troublesome?"  
I eyed him wistfully.

He gazed at me straight in the eye and said..

" **No, I think of this as a vacation. Someday, my commander might request for my return."**

_Aow..._

"So are you saying this is temporary?"  
I don't know why but something tugged at my heart knowing that someday, he will also leave me. Just like that.

" **Well that depends, depends on how you will treat me."**  
Then a smile broke in his lips. I never knew he could smile like that, like a sunshine in a cloudy sky. I was momentarily hypnotized by the warmth his eyes. And my heart started beating heavily again. I think Im having a heart problem, shoul I schedule for a check up?

"Erm...I think Im okay now, we should head back."

I said standing up and he is automatically beside me to support. He picked up the backpack and together we continued to trail down.

We were just exiting the forest when I spot a white snake heading fast towards us, I got surprised and screamed at Mew who is walking ahead.

"Mew! SNAKE!"

**"Huh? Where?"**

"There!! There!! Look ahead, you stupid!."  
I pointed at the snake in panic.

Mew looked down and saw the snake no more than a meter long, it's body looks like an inch round. Mew got surprised and instantly acts in reflex, he kicked the snake to divert it away from us. But the kick was a wrong move, instead of flying away, the snake crawled up his leg and it happened so fast I don't know what but I just saw Mew fall down on the ground, butt first and is squirming in pain.

 **"Fuck!"**  
He grunts. I knew right away that he was bitten..

_Oh god what shoud I do?_

_"_ What happened? Are you bitten?"  
I saw the snake slithering away in a distance.

**"Ah, y-yes..I-I think I am."**

I can see his pain through his gritted teeth and pulsating veins in his temple. His face turning red.

"What??! Where is it? Show me..what should I do?"

**"Relax, it's just a snake bite."**

"Relax?? What if its venomous? We're 2 hours away from the city dammit!"

He takes out an army knife from his pocket and started to unbuckle his pants.

"W-what are you doing? Why are you getting naked??"

" **I will squeeze out the venom."**  
He said calmly, as if it was just an antbite

"Squeeze out? But I think it should be sucked out to get the venom completely."  
Yeah, I watched too many movies..

When he sit on one of the stones only in his brief underwear, I saw the two red dots. There inside his thigh, near his crotch.

 _Oh my god. No way!_  
He spread his legs and started to angle the small knife to slash between the two dots.I tried so hard not to look at what his underwear is hiding beneath that skimpy cloth.

Bluish blood ooze out of the small wound. I see him trembling as he sqeeze out the teared skin.

I can't stand the sight I am seeing. I can feel his pain and discomfort even thou he tried so hard to hide it. I gulped a couple of times before squatting infront of him.

"Move your hands out of the way. Let me suck it."  
I said grabbing his hands away.

 _Suck it? Fuck!_  
The way that came out of my mouth sounds so sexy.

He was sitting frozen, legs widely spread, as I slowly move forward to suck the venom out of his open wound. I held my breath two inches away from his skin, my hands rested on his thighs.

When my lips touched the warm skin, I think I'll gonna puke, but I tried so hard not to. Mew needs me now. I need to do this to save his life. I saw this a couple of times on movies..I think I can do it. I sucked gently at the tear, until I tasted the warm blood on my tongue. After a few sip, I spit it out, then repeated the process. When I sucked for the third time, my face touched something hard behind those skimpy underwear.

_Oh god! I touched it!..its not intentional I swear!._

I can feel Mew's legs are trembling so I worriedly looked up at his face which is undeniably a mirror of a lusted man, not the one in great pain. His eyes are burning with so much passion I was taken a back. I gaped at him in confusion. Did I do something wrong?  
Then my eyes darted at his slightly opened lips, his ragged breathing fanning my face. My heart begins to tremble as well, pounding so hard against my chest.

 **"Please don't look at me like that.."**  
Mew whispered darkly at me. His hoarse voice in so much suffering.

"Look like what?"  
Came my softest reply, I didn't even recognize my own voice. I licked my lower lip smudged with blood, still looking at his eyes full of ardour, unconsciously biting it.

Then in a blink, his lips are on me.  
Soft yet hard. Sucking me, devouring my sanity..I groan in response. I was shocked at first, then I felt his tongue invading the insides of my mouth.  
I want to push back but something in my soul also want what is he doing now. I want this, so I kissed back, in the only way I know how. He groans back..I felt the tingling sensation creeping up my spine..a hundred butterflies flying in my belly..

As the kiss became deeper, heated, demanding more, my hands find its way into the back of his head, my fingers tangled at the soft curls of his hair tugging softly. I am being drowned in my own passion, and I can feel it below my belly. I'm getting hard from just a kiss!.

_You're both men Gulf! For christ sake take a hold of yourself!. And the man is injured!_

In my embarassment, I tried my hardest to push him back. The attack on my lips stopped, the moment his lips parted from mine, I felt the rush of emptiness.

_What now?_

************************************

A/N:  
Oh my god..😍😍. Im so sorry I can't help it..😅

🐼: Hey! I want more!  
⚽: yeah me too!.

🥜 Sorry guys.. Let me take a breath first .😅

Next chapter..R18 mebbe?  
Bear with me..  
🙏😂

What do you think about this chapter?  
Feel free to comment.😊😘

-phinutz


	8. LOST CONTROL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kana looked at me worriedly, but I am not in pain, not in the least. For what I am feeling now is incomparable to any hunger I have felt before.
> 
> -MEW

_************************************_  
"Please don't look at me like that."

I cannot control myself anymore, those leacherous lips that keep haunting me for days is here infront of me. Softly parted in a way that blows my mind. Just a few inches, I just have to lean forward, so inviting, bewitching me to insanity.

 **"Look like what?"**  
His voice in the softest whisper makes me believe that he is also affected by this closeness, that idea makes my heart even more excited, thrilled even.

My eyes lingered on that drop of blood in his lower lip, its really tempting. I wanna lick that tiny drop away from his rosy pout, and when he licked it..then bites his lower fold, that.. gets me undone.

My rationality disappearing into thin air, another "i don't care anymore" moment.  
I launched forward, thinking nothing but the heaven waiting on his end. My hands were automatically placed behind his head..I kissed him hungrily, inflicting all my raging desire into that bone melting kiss. I have longed for this mouth to be on me, thinking about these past few days of torture and those troubled sleepless nights. I can't take it anymore, I can't deny myself any longer of the pleasure I can only find in this sweet sweet lustrous lips of him.

I sucked out all the left over blood on his mouth, tickled by its tangy taste blended with the sugary taste of Kana. I could care less about the venom, my body is numb of all sensations apart from his lips kissing me back with the same passion as I am giving. He kissed back greedily, yearning for more, and I deepened the kiss even more. Giving him access to everything inside my mouth..

_Yes, I am yours, claim me. I have been waiting._

These pent up craving started a day after we arrived back home in the villa. I must admit I have been avoiding the boy for quite a while now because every time I see him, even his shadows remind me of the night I get lost to my frailty. Thou I am unapologetic on what I have done, I was really guilty thinking I took advantage of a drunken boy. It was quite shameless of me to do the things that exists only in my imagination. Of course he would hate me once he gain knowledge of the 'things' that took place in that dimly lit room. And Im not yet prepared to face his fury. I don't want to lose his trust that I am working so hard to gain.

But he is really giving me a hard time.  
Walking about the room with just a boxer on, or a skimpy towel around his waist. Almost every night, I swim in the pool, thinking I could extinguish the raging fire within my soul.  
I go to sleep at midnight only to find him half naked with disarrayed blanket covering half of his tempting bods. And how am I suppose to ignore his stolen glances towards me?

Until one day, Nami called me, not knowing where and how did she get my number. She asked for Kana's where abouts. Apparently, she is interested in him, and I am polite enough to answer her questions, taking care not to expose too much information. She then asked me if I could persuade Kana to join her in hiking the next weekend. She said it would be her honor to guide us and show the beauty of Batanes island through the summit of one of its great mountains.

I was really hesitant at first. Not just because I was being protective of Kana, possessive as well, but mainly because I don't think he would like the idea. And besides, Im against it as well. I want him all for myself.

Thinking I could use some alone time, I volunteered in Kana's place instead. I said he isn't feeling well but to my surprise, he even invited himself into joining.

I held my breath the moment he said the words _'Can I join you?',_ it gave me hope that he might want to hang out with me too, that he miss my presence too.  
But who am I kidding? He slapped me with the reality. He would never look at me like that. To him, I am still a stranger. Who am I kidding? To think that he trust me enough now.  
What ever warmth I see past his eyes were not true. What if he joined the hike because of the muse Nami? Not just once I saw him stealing glances towards her, and the thought irritates me to the bones. That's why I kept our distance with the others, and kept distracting Nami just so she wouldn't have a chance to flirt, not even once on Kana.

But this plan of mine backfired now. The moment he sat infront of me, as I am squeezing the venom out of the wound, I've been frozen, not able to withhold his next action. And when his warm lips touched my skin, I think I could die at the intensity of my repressed passion. I want him instantly, right here, right now. How appealing it is to have him straddle me and let him rock back and forth atop my aching manhood. How sweet it would be to see him get undone beneath my touch. My vision became blurry with so much lust I could handle.

_Kana.._

Suddenly, I felt him stiffen and pushed me away. Then came a hard blow on my face. He punched me.

 **"What are you doing?! You fucking moron! How could you?!"**  
He said angrily. His face as red as a tomato and I can see the pulsating veins on his temple.

I looked up at him with confusion. I thought it was okay. I thought he liked it too.. Then I realized..yes, to him, I am just a stranger.   
The hit never shake me, but the pain in my chest was unbearable. Im such a jerk.

"I'm sorry. It was just on impulse. Sorry."  
I said trying to stand up and fixing back my pants to buckle up, hiding my disappointment.

 **"Are you gay??!"**  
So much horror in his voice.

"N-no."  
I said diverting my eyes and picked up the backpack.

 **"You dick, doing inappropriate things in this situation. Hurry up! If you won't die by venom, you would die by my fist!"**  
He said sternly. No trace of the warm Kana who has been kissing me back moments ago.

The others get back to find us both walking slowy.

 **"Mew! Gulf!, what happened?"**  
Nami asked worriedly as he saw me limping.

My head is beginning to spin and my eyes heavy. I think the venom is now taking effect, making me disoriented.

 **"He was bitten by a white snake! Please help."**  
Gulf said. A glimpse of worry in his voice even thou I thought he is angry with me.

 **"How about you? Are you okay?"**  
Nami turned to him touching his shoulders.

 _Don't touch him! How dare you._  
I cannot even say these words of disagreement.

**"Yeah I am fine, I just sprained my ankle a bit. But we need to bring Mew to the nearest hospital right away."**

" **Okay, we'll take you there, let's hurry up guys."**  
Nami turned to the others and the two men supported me in two sides, my arms on their shoulders.

Nami also assisted Kana while walking. Her arms on his waist. I want to complain but my mouth were paralyzed. I don't know what kind of approach I should use now. Sudenly, I felt lost.

We loaded in the boat and Nami instructed the driver to fasten our pacing because it is an emergency. I heard the others talk about the snake that bit me being a strongly venomous snake called the Batanes Pit Viper which is unbelievably extinct, and the chances to encounter one of those is extremely slim, well, I guess I'm the unlucky one.  
One of the men said that it's venom is one of the most lethal among snake species. Kana who is seating beside me, shuddered upon hearing that, his hand tighten on my shoulder.

Thou I'm with a trained physique and resistance, I can feel the numbness that is slowly creeping up my body from my thighs. My head is really heavy so I leaned on Kana's shoulder for support, then I closed my eyes to take a little rest. Im even surprised he didn't pushed me away.

 **"Hang in there, We're gonna get you to the hospital. Don't you dare sleep on me bastard."**  
He whispered through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry for ruining your vacation."  
I whispered back.

**"Ugh!, whatever."**

I softly chuckled in his annoyance.  
The visit in the hospital was a short one, unlike whta I expected it to be. I'm quite lucky because Kana sucked almost all of the venom, so I just get injected with anti venom vaccine and we are free to go. The doctor warned me of the side effect of the vaccine thou.  
After we came back from the hospital, I immediately go up to our room. I suddenly felt so exhausted, I collapsed on the bed, and fallen into a deep sleep.  
_______________________________

_It is nearly dark, In the middle of the market place. I looked up in the sky, holding the hands of someone I truly treasure. This someone is the most important person in my life. When something caught my attention, and that hand got out of my clasp._

**_NO!_ **

_I tried to catch it, I tried to get it back ,tried to run after it, but it's nowhere to be found. I begin to tremble in fear. Alarm and terror consuming my heart, as I tried to look for that person._

**_Where are you?_ **

**_Mae help me.._ **

_I begin to cry in confusion. Pain and deep sorrow clenching in my chest.._   
_What am I gonna do?_

_When suddenly.._

_Bang!_

_A loud blast came off._

_I was thrown a good distance away, My body froze as I see the gushing blood from the crack of my head. Numbness crept into my body, into my blurry mind, into my lost soul._

**_Someone help me.._ **

**_Lulu..Lulu.. Im sorry._ **

_************************************_


	9. SLAVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a slave of your charm, of your beguiling beauty, of your hot tempered soul and if being your slave means having you this close, I'd volunteer everyday.
> 
> -MEW

************************************

I woke up feeling a little light headed.  
My body aches all over and my throat feels like I swallowed a chain of barb wires. My eyes instantly flew into the bed next to mine, and felt relief wash over my soul. There, I saw Kana sleeping peacefully, with his usual loose tank top and his all time favorite cotton shorts. He isn't really a pajama person like me.

I saw a glass of water on the side table, and felt the thirst on my mouth, so I tried to sit up to have a gulp, when I realized, my clothes was changed. I am wearing a set of unmatched pajamas. The top is colored blue while the bottom is green.  
Did I changed clothes yesterday? Was I so tired to not notice the color difference? Or did....

My eyes instantly flew back to the sleeping figure.

Did he changed my clothes?

Nah, that's impossible. I shake my head in my dillusional thoughts.

I also noticed the slightly wet towel on the side table beside the glass of water. Am I thinking ahead of myself again? I blew a deep breath and get the glass to drink. I am so thirsty and starving. The wound inside my thigh hurt a bit but not that much. I guess the pain killer I took is quite effective.

I stand up and stretched my aching muscles, walk over to Kana's bed and fix his blanket over his shoulders.

I went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast, I realized my last meal was the packed lunch yesterday. I decided to prepare a fried rice with a lot of toasted garlic, fried bacon, sunny side up eggs and fried some dried squid, my favorite.  
I also heated the crispy pork with basil from last night maybe, for Kana when he wakes up.

I'm in the middle of sipping my morning coffee when I realized, I want to eat breakfast in my room, on my bed where I can see the sleeping brat. That would be less lonely than this empty dinner table. Limping, I carried the tray of my breakfast up to our room, put it in the side table and settled on my bed. I get the small foldable lazy table and put all my food infront of me then started to dig in. Im really famished, as if all my strength were sucked out.

Im halfway through my breakfast when, Kana stirred and slowly stretched his long arms and legs.

 **"Aw! Shia..hsss"**  
He curses too early in the morning.

"Why?does your ankle still hurts?"  
I asked looking at him as I sipped my coffee.

He turned to me instantly that I thought his neck would snap, then with a frown on his forehead, he looked away just as fast.

 **"Ugh, it hurts like hell! And it's your fault! Bastard."**  
He said cursing not even looking at me, a smile crept on my lips.

"I'll massage your legs later, maybe the anti sprain spray didn't work out well."  
A silent promise in my tone.

**"N-no!, I mean, n-no need. I'll just stay in bed anyway."**

"Okay, just tell me if I can do anything for you."  
I said gulping on my last spoonful of fried rice.

"Anyway, who changed my clothes last night? Is it you?"  
I asked him cause I can clearly remember now that I didn't do it.

**"Ugh! How did you know?"**

"Really?"

**"No."**

The smile that is slowly creeping up my lips..faded instantly. How savage.

 **"The house helps do it. Two of them were drooling at your naked body."**  
He said smirking at me.

"What?!"

**"What do you mean what? You're lying there one leg dangling off the bed, motionless and barely breathing like a dead piece of shit. How do you expect me take care of you? Huh, in your fuckin dreams!"**

"But how did you know I'm barely breathing? You did check up on me then?"  
I said grinning widely like a stupid jerk,  
His face instantly turning red, how gorgeous.

 **"No! I just saw you and called the maids for help. Tss, stop with your hallucinations!"**  
He replied rolling his eyes at me, making me want to slap his butt cheeks for that.

He stand up and walked limping to the bathroom, getting guilty over the fact that it is my fault he is in pain. I can't help myself but to gaze at his sexy ass that looked so fluffy and firm. How would that feel against my palms...

_Hey! hold it! the boy is in pain and you're lusting over his ass! you pervert!_

"Ahhm, I wanna say sorry for ruining your vacation. It is also my fault your ankle got sprained."  
I said guiltily, as he opened the bathroom door. When suddenly, he turn around and face me in a very slow motion.

 **"Yes! It is your fault!You bastard I wanna kill you this instant!"**  
He answered, his veet red face frowning in anger.

"I'm really sorry, If i can do anything to ease your pain, I'll gladly do it."

 **"Really?"**  
That raised eyebrow is telling me to re consider what I have just said. I smell tragedy.

"Y-Yes. Tell me what do you want?"  
I asked hesitantly now.

**"Be my slave. Now you're not just a bodyguard, you are my** **_Thaat._ ** **You do everything I ask of you, no questions, no buts. You will give what ever I want, when ever I want it."**

"Huh?"

 **"Accept it or die."**  
He said then turns to enter the bathroom.

I was left dumbfounded. What does he mean by that? Well, I accept that it is my fault he got injured, but also because he is clumsy! And did he not volunteer to come with me? but to be a slave?Isn't that too much? I can be anything but a _thaat_? I am beginning to feel nervous of the things he is about to request from me.

I shake my head in disbelief and laughed softly as I began to gather the plates and dishes I had for breakfast and put it in the tray then go down to the kitchen to fix Kana a meal. When I go back to the room, he is in front of his computer, eyes fixed on the monitor, his hair still wet and tiny drops of water drips into his gray loose tank top. I get the white towel sitting by a chair nearby and put it in his shoulders to prevent his top from being soaked.

 **"Dry my hair."**  
He said straight away as if he was expecting me to do what i just did.

I put the tray of breakfast on the sidetable and do as he requested. If this is what he means by being a thaat, then I willingly volunteer. His hair so soft and the aroma of his shampoo with his newly washed body tickles my nosetrills. It sends chills of delight into my body which is reacting very well. I need a shower too.. ASAP

When I make sure that his hair is now nearly dry, I proceed next to comb it without him telling me to do so, It just felt like the right thing to do. He is now focused on playing his game.

"Eat breakfast first, or you'll miss the time again."  
I said while splitting his hair in the middle. I felt like doing this everyday.

After that, I decided to take the shower I badly needed, taking with me the towel I used to dry his hair. I am beginning to take off my clothes when I see something in the trashbin. Something caught up in between the lids, so I decided to put it in properly, when I realized it is a used underwear. In my curiousity, I took it out and look closely. It is definitely not mine, but there is something in it. A.... a smudge of blood. On the part where the...oh my god.

Is Kana sick or something? but it is just a little smudge, if he is sick it should have been a lot. But why? how? what happened?.

My head is spinning. I can't think straight as to why his thrown underwear has a stain of blood on the exact location for the fuckin asshole?!.

************************************  
Thaat* : thai word for slave


	10. CHARGE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day I discovered that I am fierce, and strong, and full of fire and that not even I can hold back myself because my passion burned brighter than my fears.
> 
> -GULF

_*************************************_  
I was surprised to see Mew lying unconscious on the bed, not even bothering to change his clothes. It is very uncommon for him to sleep in a position like that and besides, He won't touch his bed unless he has taken a bath first.   
Worry strikes me, so I moved closer to take a look only to find out he is burning up with fever. I panicked immediately, I have no idea what to do. So I googled:

**What to do to a person with fever.**

**1\. Take the temperature and asses the symptoms. 38° higher is a fever.**

I took out the unused thermometer from the first aid kit on the bathroom, and put it inside his mouth.

38.9°

He definitely has a fever.

**2\. Stay in bed and rest.**

I exerted all my strength in getting him into bed comfortably, thou he's pretty heavy, I completed the mission after a couple of minutes trying the fuck up.

**3\. Stay cool and comfortable. Remove extra layers of clothing. Take tepid baths or cold compress.**

How am I suppose to do that? Should I strip him naked? Upon checking on google, the victim, er- the sick person..is supposed to be wiped with a wet cloth or something.  
So I get a clean towel from the dresser, get it wet on the bathroom sink and came back to wipe his burning body. I started on his forehead where tiny beads of sweat is forming. Wiped his face, his neck, and thought I must change his clothes. So i went to his side of the dresser to get a pair of sleeping pjs, I picked what ever I saw first, and stepped to get back to him quickly. But I thought of something midway to the bed.

_Wait, what am I doing? Why do I have to do this with this jerk who kissed me without a warning? the nerve!_

I throw the pjs harshly on the floor upon remembering the incident. I am so annoyed right now. Why am I acting like a worried mother nursing a sick child?  
But then i remembered how he saved me, how he cared for me on the boat, when I get drunk, when I'm scared, when I sprained my ankle and so on..

_Ugh!..fuck this!_

Guilt sink into my chest like a steel blade, and so I picked up the pjs lying sadly on the floor and proceed on my mission. I have no choice then, i owe him at least but..

\---------------------------------------------------  
⚽: _What the heck author? Why do I have to do this?_  
 _⚽: Hey! Should I just pour a glass of cold water on his face?_  
 _⚽: Or should I just let the house helps change his clothes?_  
 _⚽: I can't do this phi, im getting a hard on!_  
 _⚽: hey! Fuck answer me!_

 _🥜:_ oh! Are you talking to me?  
Ooops, sareh...busy at the moment su su na yai nong!..gotta go byeee!.🤭  
\---------------------------------------------------

I first raised his hands to change his shirt soaking with sweat, throw it on the floor, never minding where it lands on.  
I can't help but to feel jealous of his well chiseled chest, his muscular abdomen and well toned biceps. This must have been the result of his training at the military, how amazing.  
I hold my breath as I begin to wipe his body with the wet towel, starting from the hollow of his neck, to the hard muscles of his chest. He groaned in response to the cold touch on his burning skin, and my hands begins to tremble. I don't know what is happening to my body. This is something new to me, of course I have never unclothed a man before, not even my father.

Unconciously, my fingers traced his muscled chest, feeling the scorching skin, hard yet soft to the touch then smoothered my palms through his muscled ribcage.My breath hitched as I begin to fumble upon his abdomenal abs..is this what it is supposed to feel? Yes, my body is well trimmed but I dont have these... these amazing looking mini breads, just by looking at his glistening body under the soft lights coming from the lampshades, I felt a sudden tug at my groin, something is stirring inside of me, this view is playing tricks on my imagination so I closed my eyes and shake my head to get out of the trance. This is not right. I'm not gay to feel this kind of things and besides,I must do what I should be doing, not the other way around.

Then I clumsily get to change his pants, trying hard not to touch his wound and his....ugh...something that is not allowed to be touched.

After quite sometime, I succeeded In changing his clothes, with me catching my breath and I don't know who among the two of us is more feverish. I feel the hot flush of blood all over my body.

**4\. Keep hydrated. Drink plenty of water.**

Now that I thought about it, he hasn't drank any liquid since this afternoon, but how can I make him? He is sleeping unconsciously and waking up seems impossible.

What to do?  
Should I just pour in a glass of water into his mouth? Should that wake him up?

Nah..too harsh.

How about feed him with my mouth?

_Ugh!..gross,what the fuck am I thinking?.._

But my genius mind thought of a better idea.

I get a glass of ice cubes from the fridge in the kitchen and sat beside him on the bed. I get a small piece of ice and opened his mouth slightly then put the ice inside. But the ice cube kept getting out of his mouth before even melting.

_Shit!.this is harder than I thought!._

I took another piece of small ice cube, but this time I angled his face upward holding onto his chin and opening his mouth a little for me to have a more suitable access. I feed him the ice cube slowly putting it in the middle of his tounge, afraid he might choke so I closed it hurriedly. Looking closely at his well defined face, I realized how goodlooking he really is. From the furrowed brows, to the slanted nose and narrow lips. His cheeks were slightly flushed and the pinkish glow gives him a drunken state look. How sexy.

 _Ughh..keep yourself together moron!_  
I scolded my inner self as he glower over Mew, mouth open, salivating in his glory.

Once the ice cube melted, I repeated the process until I was sure he had gubbled down a plenty of liquids..and.. that was the most laborious moment of my life. Never in my wildest dream to do stupid things like these.

I slumped my body on my bed, exhausted from all the ruckus I have done. My body felt sticky all over from sweat, so I decided to take a quick shower after I requested the house help to cook some dinner for me and a congee for the fucker Mew He must eat something.

Feeling refreshed after the hot shower, I came beside Mew's bed to check up on him. His body still feels hot from fever, and the house maid brought up the dinner they prepared. I tried to wake him up to eat, but all I get was grunts and groans so I didn't force him. Maybe a full night rest will be enough, ill just wake him up tomorrow.

_Heh, he won't die from starvation, that prick._

I lay in my bed expecting to sleep right away due to fatigue of the whole day adventure, but sleepiness never came. I looked at the bed opposite mine where the jerk is lying, when suddenly he began to toss around. I felt alarmed so I get up and find myself sitting on his bed..again..holding his shoulders.

"Hey jerk, whats up? Whats happening?"  
I shake him but no response. He just keep on tossing around like a mad dog. Sweats began to form again in his forehead.

"Hey Mew! If you don't stop this I'll hit you and kick your ass!"  
I said a little louder hoping he would hear me, when unexpectedly, he grabbed my shoulders causing me to go out of balance, landing my body over his and my face on his chest, then he hug me tightly I can barely breath. His body is still hot but not as much as earlier.

_What the??fuck?!_

" **Lulu...im sorry..Lulu.."**  
Mew whispered in a hoarse voice I almost not heard him.

"What?hey! Let me go!."  
I shaked him and tried to push away but he is strong. Strong enough to pin me down in his sleep thou he is sick at the moment, is he some kind of a beast?

 **"Lulu... Im sorry.."**  
There came the whisper again, but this time he began to shake softly. He is crying. He is crying in a very subtle way you cannot even hear his sobs..  
Just a little heaving of the chest and the tears falling from his tightly closed eyes. I stay there still, sensing his every breath and waiting for him to calm down..

 _"Who the hell is Lulu?"_  
I asked myself frowning, the crease in my eyebrowse deepened, thinking why am I even interested? What do I care if she is someone he loves?or his past lover? Or someone he just met? What do I fucking care? It irritates me that I am being curious of someone I don't even have the slightest idea about.

After a few minutes, Mew calmed down. His grip on me loosened and I tried to sit up. I stared at his sleeping face, his cheeks wet in tears. I get the towel and wiped his face and his nose with a little mucus flowing out.

_Iw! Yuck this man!_

I wonder what he is dreaming about. Who is this man? Why am i feeling safe around him? And why do I feel tingly all over just by looking at him?  
He is a stranger, but my gut feel tells me otherwise. Now that I think about it, he acted around me as if he had known me so well. As if he had been around me long enough to know what I want and what i don't.

_Who are you really Mew Suppasit?_

I was so engrossed at studying his face, I didn't realize I am slowly lying down beside him..and before I knew it, my eyes were too heavy to go back to my own bed.

*************************************


	11. JEALOUSY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can be a pain in the arse, but most of all, I can be a pleasure.
> 
> -GULF

*************************************  
I get out of the car and breath in the fresh scent of the ocean. I can hear the clashing of the waves into the shore. Flock of birds above the clouds and the shining sun felt so good upon my pale skin. Early in the morning I have decided I want to go to a private beach, and here we are, courtesy of my bodyguard/ thaat, Mew Suppasit.

Mew has been a good thaat, it's been a week now and I'm having a lot of fun. Coming at my every beck and call, be it little things like fixing me a snack, cleaning my nails, feeding me, fixing my hair or be it big things like buying me a thai milktea in the middle of this foreign island and getting a beef steak in the middle of the night.

_Huh serves him right, after what he did to me._

An now, I am thinking of another naughty idea as I am looking at him closely with a silly smile playing on my lips.

 **"What is it? what do you want this time?**  
He asked with a frown in his forehead.

"Carry me on your back."

**"What?"**

"Why? You can't?"

**"It's not that I can't, but why? does your ankle hurts again?"**

**"** No, I'm just feeling lazy. I don't want to walk. Carry me there."  
I pointed to the wooden bench facing the ocean under a big mango tree about 300 yards away.

 **"Okay, get on me."**  
He said squatting infront of me and I jumped on him willingly.

I am beginning to get used to intimacy like this. I am beginning to realize he isn't a stranger to me anymore, but a person I can trust. And my trust comes with possessiveness. I want to own things, or persons that is close to me, because I don't want much, just a few but totally mine.

He put me down slowly on the bench, and I smiled to my self in satisfaction. I don't understand why this game I am playing gives me so much pleasure.

**"Anything else?"**

"Oh, I forgot my cellphone in the car."  
I looked at him seriously but my inner self is totally dancing in amusement as I saw horror and disbelief cloud his eyes.

 **"Okay, got it."**  
He said after giving a deep sigh of surrender, as he turn around to get what I need. I kept smiling to my self, as I take in the beauty of the place, the crystal waters, and it's pure white sand that looked so soft to walk in.

I expect Mew to take a little longer to get back, but never in my wildest dream that he would came back looking like a fucking sex god.  
There he is, jogging slowly towards me with a blue floral shirt widely opened at the front swinging with the wind and a loose blue board shorts. His body glistening with tiny drops of sweat under the sun. The time seems to slow down as he take a swing with his hair towards the side. Oh, what was that?

No, I am not interested in his meaty bouncy chest, nor in his big veiny hands..Not in the least interested if his six pack abs are showing between those open front of his floral shirt.  
So what if all the girls passing by in this secluded part of the resort eyes him hungrily? The hell I care?.

_Huh, he is my thaat, he is mine._

I sneered at him as he came closer holding my cellphone.  
He slumped beside me on the sand, and drank a bottled water he probably retrieved from the car. And of course I am not looking at that adams apple going up and down as he swallowed gulps of water, some drops spilling at the corners of his lips, dripping into his exposed chest.  
I didn't see that.  
I looked away into the open ocean..  
Suddenly I felt so thirsty too. Maybe he noticed me licking my lips so he gave me another bottled water and I chug it down hungrily. This scenes are getting me nervous

"I want an Ice cream."  
I mumbled out of the blue, then look at him who is already looking up at me with wariness in his face.

"ai thaat, get me an Ice cream."

 **"But where am I gonna get an ice cream? I don't think the resort sells any."**  
he retorted frowning at me.

"Find me one.Now."  
I replied pouting. I really want an ice cream right now. No, I need it, to quench my rising heat. I can feel it engulfing my bottom half, that's why I cant stand up..Im having a boner. A fucking boner!

He sigh in submission, stand up and started to go back to the resort's main lobby. I wasn't expecting much. I don't even expect him to get one, I just need him out of my sight now or else it'll be embarassing to be caught like this. He might think that Im lusting after him, even thou it's true, I can't accept this. Not yet.

Looking back at the ocean and it's peaceful folding waves, I realized a lot of things. Sometimes it's not so bad to go out of your comfort zone. That not all the people you encounter is bad, some are really kind, caring and generous. One must learn to pick the right one.  
And not everyone in the crowd is an enemy, there are some that is going to protect you no matter what. Like Mew. I haven't realize it yet, but I am getting closer to him each day. Trusting him my safety and my life.  
It may be temporary, but he is a lot of help in dissolving my hostility towards strangers..maybe...

My flow of thoughts stopped the moment I saw Mew heading back my way. He is carrying a tumbler of chocolate ice cream in his hands and walking towards me accompanied by a long legged foreigner. The girl looks western, her blond curly hair drapes along the exposed dainty shoulders. Her thick lashed eyes looking up at Mew dreamily, her cute little nose and soft looking unpainted lips completed her pretty face. Her skin as white as the sand showing in that skimpy two piece swimwear. They were talking to each other cheerfully that it makes me frown in irritation.

_Ugh, another girl this time.._

When they get closer to where I am sitting alone, the girl looked at me and gave a wide friendly smile. I can't help but to smile back shyly, one of those fake smiles I trained to do.

 **"Gulf, this is Georgina Wadsworth, a fashion model from London. She said she saw us earlier and recognizes you from one of your fashion shows. You remember her?"**  
He said holding the girl in the elbow and my eyes darted that way even thou im not supposed to be aware of it.

 **"Hi! you may call me George. It is indeed you, Gulf Kanawut of thailand. I can't believe that I saw you here in Batanes so I have to confirm it..do you remember me? from the Lazada womens festival fashion show."**  
She reached out her hand and I accepted the brief handshake.

"Er.. sorry. Im not good with names."  
The truth is, I don't really remember her, or any one from the show in that matter, because once I am done with my cue, I go home right away.

**"Oh well that's fine, I understand. There's a lot of models present that day, but you left early. I didn't see you at the after party."**

"Uh, I'm not a party person."

**"Anyway, why are you here in the Philippines? Tired of your celebrity life, I guess?"**

"Y-yeah, Im here for a vacation"  
I said and throw an I-don't-want-this-conversation look at Mew. I'm not comfortable where the conversation is leading to.

 **"It's nice to meet you George, I'm glad to see an acquaintance of Gulf here. now that you confirmed it, See you around!"**  
Mew interrupted her clearly to dismiss the little get together and smiled at her quickly.

 **"It's nice to meet you too Mew right? and nice to see you again Gulf, don't forget to attend the beach party later if you want. Bye, enjoy your stay!"**  
she left a wide smile at us then walked away swinging her voluptuos hips.

I throw daggers at Mew when the girl was out of sight, tss, what a charmer. I snatched the ice cream from his hands and..

"Where's the spoon? how am I gonna eat this?"  
I snapped at him not even hiding my annoyance.

 **"Aw here, I bought it at the convenience store nearby where I bumped with George."**  
he said handing me a spoon.

**"Did you know that she is a co- owner of this resort? she gave us honorary discounts."**

"I don't give a fuck. I can pay triple."  
I said gobbling down the ice cream without giving him even a single spoon.

 **"Hey, slowdown."**  
He said standing up infront of me and bent down to wipe a drop of cream on the side of my lips and in the process I accidentally looked up and meet his intent gaze upon my lips. That kind of facial expression of his gets my heart erratically beating. Tiny volts of excitement flows down my spine and the memory of his lips on mine became so vivid I can almost feel it. The heat spreads like a wild fire into my body and before I do some stupid shits again, I pushed him hard, dropped the empty icecream tumbler and spoon, then run for the waves. I jumped into the water just immediately as I reached it. I need to clear my mind, letting the cold water engulf my trembling body.  
I am having a really really hard time understanding my self now a days.

What is it that he do to me to feel this way? I'm not a gay for fucks sake!  
Where is this feeling coming from?  
I haven't had a girlfriend, not even once but that doesn't mean I want men either. How am I suppose to deal with all these?

 _Oh god, I'm going crazy._  
_\---------------------------------------------------_  
Mew checked us in with a two-bed room in the hotel beach resort. The wall was painted white, with a small lanai at the front which is facing the ocean so the cool breeze is giving the room an airy fresh ambiance.

As I am lying peacefully in my bed, playing a mobile game, Mew comes out of the bathroom and stands before the full length mirror. It is past six and we just had dinner after a whole day of playing around the waves. He is wearing a simple black round necked tshirt and a loose red board shorts.

"Where are you going?"  
I asked curiously.

**"At the beach party, George invited us in remember?"**

"And you're going alone? What about me?"

 **"What about you? I thought you said you're not a party person?"**  
He looked at me sideways with one brow turned up.

"You're leaving me here alone?"  
This man is unbelievable.

 **"Why? you need anything else? or.. You'll miss me?"**  
He said smiling, teasing me.

"No way!"

" **Okay, I'll ask for a night off then, would you mind? I just want a little drink."**

I felt a little guilty after he said that. He's right, it's not as if I own him or something.

"Ugh! enjoy yourself."  
I replied not even giving him a glimpse as he walks towards the door, closing it lightly behind him.

\-------------------------------------------------  
Yes, I am not a party person, and also yes, I don't like crowds, but what the hell am I doing here?

In the far end of the beach party being held infront of the beach resort, I find my self standing motionless beside a coconut tree. Looking for someone in the crowd of happily dancing people.  
The bamboo hut designed bar is situated at the center, while tables and chairs were scattered around the place.  
There was a bonfire flickering in the middle, a reggae music I don't recognize is playing in the air and a fire dancer is dancing with amazing routines.

_ Hindi naman ako nagmamadali _  
_ Natatakot lang ako na baka ay mahuli _  
_ Ayokong magsisi na hindi ko nasabi _  
_ Habang ang puso mo ay wala pang may ari _

I scanned the couple of people who were dancing, drinking, sitting, kissing, and laughing scattered all around the place. Some are even making out at the dimly lit corners.

_ Oo nais kong mabuksan _  
_ Pinto ng iyong puso _  
_ Para sayo ay gagawin ang lahat _  
_ Makamit lamang ang pagibig mo _

Then I saw Mew, sitting there on one of the wood benches, the light from the bonfire gives him a soft warm glow. He is holding a bottle of beer in one hand and talking gleefully at George. His eyes were curved like halfmoons as his lips was torn into a big goofy smile. I wonder what they are talking about that makes him laugh heartily like that. The gentle gestures of their hands is slowly tearing my guts apart. I feel a sting of pain in my chest and each passing seconds that I watch their happy faces is like a dagger piercing steadily in my heart.

_What is this fucking feeling?_  
_First you hit on Nami, then that Lulu girl on your dreams, and now this George who is as sexy as fuck?_

_ Kung ikay akin dito ka saking tabi _  
_ Nais kong mayakap ka bawat araw at gabi _  
_ Aaminin ko na rin na ako'y may pagtingin _  
_ Wag ka sanang mainis kung masyadong mabilis _

It hurts to see him being close to someone else other than me.  
I don't like seeing him laughing with girls like that. I want to wipe that wide smile off his fucking face.

After so much deliberation, I decided to join the fun. Inhaling a lot of courage, and driven by jealousy-

_Wait wut? jealous? who?me? excuse me! I'm not jealous! It's just that, I also want a drink._

Yeah right, suit yourself.

_ Wala naman akong masamang intensyon sayo _  
_ Nais ko lang naman ay konting atensyon mo _  
_ At ang tanging hangad ko lang _  
_ Ay iyong kaligayahan _  
_ Na hindi magbabago magpakailan man _

He looked up at me dumbfoundedly as I stand beside him with a grim face. My eyes were fixed on the dancing half drunk people.

 **"Gulf! what are you doing here? what happened?"**  
He asked standing up instantly and holding me on the shoulders.

"I get bored, that's what happened."  
I said taking a seat between him and George.

_ Oo nais kong mabuksan _  
_ Pinto ng iyong puso _  
_ Para sayo ay gagawin ang lahat _  
_ Makamit lamang ang pagibig mo _

I came to the decision to play my cards right. I'll play this game of yours motherfucker.

"Mew, could you get me a drink please. Brandy, on the rocks."  
I said confidently, playing that macho role i played on one of my short films, even thou I'm a weak drinker, I hope I can pull it off.  
Mew hesitantly look at me again before leaving and getting what I asked for.

_ Kung ikay akin dito ka saking tabi _  
_ Nais kong mayakap ka bawat araw at gabi _  
_ Aaminin ko na rin na ako'y may pagtingin _

_ Wag ka sanang mainis kung masyadong mabilis _

"Hi George, how's it going?"  
I smiled at her sweetly, thinking, I will get this girl off my way by hook or by crook. You can't have him bitch. He's my thaat.

George and I hit it easily, as we talked a lot about our careers and the latest trends, she shared some tips about modelling and I gave her some advices on how to land a role in acting. We were so engrossed talking taht I didn't even notice Mew getting back and handing me over a glass of Brandy with a couple of ice cubes.

_Well now_   
_This is what is on my mind_   
_Ill never gonna make you cry_   
_Promise di kita iiwan habang buhay_   
_I will love you day and night_   
_I just wanna make you mine_   
_This is for real no lie until i die_

I took a sip and the cold liquid ripping through my throat like a burning fire, making me wince.  
I endured the uncomfortable smell of it and pushed myself to show Mew that George is enjoying my company.  
He just sits there quietly beside me, just watching and joining in our conversation every now and then.

_ Kung ika'y akin dito ka saking tabi _  
_ Nais kong mayakap ka bawat araw at gabi _  
_ Aaminin ko na rin na ako'y may pagtingin _  
_ Wag ka sanang mainis kung masyadong mabilis _

A couple of minutes later and I feel my neck getting stiff from having to look at George's direction for a long time. I slowly tipped my head left and right to ease the stiffness.  
When suddenly, I felt his warm hand behind my shoulder blades. Creeping up towards my nape sending tiny shivers through the soft cotton fabric of my shirt into my skin. He gently massages the back of my neck, making me want to close my eyes in the sensation.

 **"Gulf, wanna dance?"**  
George asked me suddenly I didn't get the chance to react as she pulls me up, get the glass out of my hands and hand it to an equally dumbfounded Mew.

She gets me into the middle of the crowd and started dancing in a hearty mood. The upbeat music and the brandy taking effect now gives me the courage to dance with her in the only way I know. Then the music suddenly became slower. Everyone around screamed in unison and began dancing in a very provocative manner .  
The music is Electric upbeat but sexy. I think I remember this music, The Magic Mike Xxl Ost!. I always stumble upon it online as the majority of my co players were men, one or two played this song while on game. The music is somewhat giving me the mental strength to endure the people around, focusing on my dance partner George, and swaying my body into the beat even thou I know I looked really awkward.

George became a little bolder, placing her hands on my shoulder and putting mine into her waist as she grinds infront of me. She is so sexy in that midriff orange blouse and short dolphin shorts, but to my dismay, this closeness doesn't affect me even a bit near how Mew affects me. With that in mind, my eyes darted to where Mew was, and oh boy, he is throwing daggers at me with his eyes. His face is so dark, his furrowed brows slightly turning up as he realized that I am looking back, and his gaze on me so intent it makes my knees weak. I can almost see the angry veins in his hands as he grips the beer rather tightly.

My eyes goes back with George who is now facing me backwards, grinding her ass up my crotch and slowly bending down in a very provocative manner any man will hit a home run. But I'm not one of those 'any man'.  
I looked at her bended ass rather amazed on how can she do that, it looks painful. When out of nowhere, a big hand gripped my right wrist tightly and pulls me away from George whom I didn't get the chance to see the surprised face.

Mew is dragging me painfully towards the hotel building, leaving the crowd instantly and I can't even say a word due to dizziness. The brandy is now on full effect. He swings open the door to our room harshly and closed it the same way, then throws me to bed.

" **What do you think you're doing out there Gulf?"**

_Gulf? not Kana?hmm..so I am Gulf now._

_"_ Ahhh.. dancingg?"  
I said a little tipsy, smiling at him goofily.

 **"You call that dancing?! you were making out in public!"**  
He said louder, anger evident in his voice.

"Why? amm Aiii nott allowed to dooo thaaat?"

**"What if there are paparazzis out there?"**

"Ahh, youre worriedd abouut mah careehr? noott abboutt me getting laid?"  
I speak funny and brave. Thanks to the spirit of alcohol.

"Ookaay, Amm soorry, caan I gett back tooo dannccing noww?"

 **"No fucking way!"**  
He said sternly that makes my blood boil in contempt.

"Whyyy!? Youu gett toh flirtt anndd nott me?? don't bee unfairr you fucckeer!"

 **"What did you say? wanna see how hard of a fucker i am then?"**  
He said dangerously making slow paces towards me.

"Bringgg itt onn! Yuu wannt a ppiieecee off mee??"

"You sure about that? Once I get my hands on that smooth neck of yours, there's no turning back Kana..Your very scent makes me want to fuck you mindlessly."  
He breathes in heavily as if in pain, his face now so close to mine I nearly choke on my own gasp.

"I.Am.Not.Afraid.Of.You.Mother.Fucker!"  
I stressed each word out with disgust in my voice.

But his reply caught me totally off guard. He launched forward and claimed my lips. He kissed me hungrily, sucking, fucking my mouth with his lips like a lion on its prey and the little sanity left in me flew into the thin air.

*************************************

A/N:  
Next chapter is Raikantopini!!  
😂😂😂  
Oh my Mew.  
please prepare a holy water to wash your minds after.  
😅

stay safe!  
😘  
-phinutz


	12. FUCKED UP SOUL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I grabbed him by the throat, but I didn't choke him. I just kissed him so deep he forgot whose air he was breathing.
> 
> -MEW

🥜: I highly suggest you read this while listening to "Body On Me" by Rita Ora. 😊  
prepare a holy water to wash your eyes after.🙈  
-phinutz  
\-------------------------------------------------

*************************************

"I want to spank your hot ass for driving me so crazy. Do you even notice everyone checking you out?"  
I whispered in his lips as he gasp for air to breath after that lip-smashing kiss.

 **"M-Mew.."**  
He calls my name breathily..like a soft caress of a feather makes my blood boil with so much need it drives me insane.

"Do you realize what you do to me? I can't stop thinking about that thing you do with your hips earlier. It makes me wanna fuck you senseless."  
My hands glide slowly to his backside, giving his plump ass a little sqeeze. How I want to bury myself into his soft round moulds.

 **"W-what?? you fuckin pervert.."**  
He replied,his voice husky with need, his eyes never leaving mine. And I can see the spark of lust starting to ignite in those dark brown orbs.

I breath in his heavenly scent through his nosetrills and kiss him again cutting his words with my tongue. I dive into his soft folds like a warrior in a battle, emotions flooding through my mouth. Jealousy, frustration, pent up passion and affection. He really is going to be the death of me. I need his naked body more than I need oxygen right now. He let out a soft moan into my mouth, I can hardly contain my riotous feelings rampaging through my veins.  
I kissed him with all the hunger in my soul, feeling the insides of his mouth while he kissed me back with equal passion, coaxing, demanding..as his tongue tentatively meets mine. Our tongues battle in a dance of intense music created by our thundering heartbeats.

I grabbed his nape with my right hand while pinning both of his hands up his head with my left, My body hovering his squirming figure, pinning him into place beneath me, moulding our bodies into one. I can feel his hard erection agains mine as I rub into him seductively. I broke the kiss releasing his now swollen lips and trailed little kisses from there to the corners of his mouth, and his fantastic jaw line. I licked under his ear whispering..

"I want to kiss every single inch of your body, explore every nook and cranny, penetrate every crevice..and I swear to you I won't stop until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name."

**"A-ahh.. Mew..Please.."**

I rained tiny little wet kisses down his neck, my hands releasing his and continued exploring his now fevered hot body. Fumbling into his black tshirt, taking it off and throwing it into the floor, my hands went beneath the waistband of his cargo shorts together with his underwear and it follows the shirt into the floor.

This time I won't slow down, This time I won't hold back anymore.  
I kissed his neck, sucking, licking the sweet skin. I want to taste all of him.

"You smell so good..hmmm..it's intoxicating..it's driving me mad."  
I can feel his trembling body against mine. His fingers find the soft curls of my hair, gripping gently and I can feel he tried so hard to control his too loud breathing.

"When you were grinding back there with that foxy cunt, all I think about is how good you are going to taste under my mouth."  
I looked at his beautiful exposed body beneath me. His skin so smooth, scorching hot to touch, and his neck turning red with the little marks that I left there.His left hand finding it's place behind my shoulder blades, his nails sinking into my flesh..

 **"M-Mew..I..I..ahhhhh"**  
He mumbled under his breath, his eyes half closed, I can feel his shyness but nothing can stop me now.

"Shh...I want to eat you out until I've memorized every single pink fold of your flesh."  
He quiverred as I trailed wet sucking kisses down to his chest, finding two puckered nipples. I sucked at them hungrily, not stopping even when I heard him moan in pleasure and cling his fingers painfully into my hair

His body looks delicately ethereal under the soft lights coming from outside the open doors of the lanai. Soft distant music coming in from the party below, a ballad of slow rnb filling the room with so much lusty mood. I haven't have the time to open the lights when we entered and the dimly lit room do no justice to this godly writhing beauty.

_ Baby, let's cut down the lights _   
_ I just really wanna let this fire burn bright _   
_ I'm just telling you to have an open mind _   
_ Just imagine us _

When I slid my fingers down his navel, I felt his muscles jumped in surprise, reacting to my touch sensitively that fuels up my burning desire. His breathing hitched as I slid lower into his groin. I stopped sucking his now hardened nipples and gaze up to his reddened face turned to the side, eyes tightly closed and his lower lip held captive into a firm bite.

_You're taking me there, you're taking me there_   
_Our lips are barely touching_   
_So do it again, so do it again_   
_We could be on to something_

I wanna see his reaction as I palmed him softly, taking him into my hands and feeling his nearly seven inches of hardness twitch against my touch, he fits in my hands perfectly. He is so hard I can feel him pulsating, as his breathing became labored and soft whine of frustration escaped his lips.  
His hips moving forward with my touch, he want my touch..wanting that friction I could willingly give him.  
Oh god, look how beautiful he could get with that emotion of lust emanating from his face.

_Heyo, heyo, I just wanna feel your body on me_   
_Heyo, heyo, if you want it then you got it, hold me_   
_No more, no more wasting time_   
_We can, we can go all night_   
_Heyo, heyo, I just wanna feel your body on me_   
_Ayayayayayayayayaya_   
_Body on me_   
_Ayayayayayayayayaya_   
_Body on me_

"Do you know how many times I've mentally stripped you?Your unclothed body is my happy place. You are so beautiful."

 **"Uhhh.. you fucking maniac..ahhh.."**  
He replied huskily not even trying to stop my scrumptious onslaught.

_Put you up against the wall_   
_And I'ma go to work 'til you get off_   
_Baby, soon as you're done we'll go some more_   
_Boy, just imagine us_

I carry on with my pursuit, felt the rim of his ass beneath my fingers and ignored his jolt of shock as I enter one finger into his soft folds. I entered un  
ceremoniously making him grip my arm tightly, nails digging and let out a harsh gasp, his hips thrust upward away from my touch.  
This scene looks familiar to me, I can't put words into it. It's like I have seen him like this before, but I can't remember when. It's like a de ja vu.

 **"Ah! please take it slowly..I-I can't take it like the first time.. th-that hurts..fuck you."**  
He said panting in a trembling voice.

I was startled by his words and stopped abruptly, takes out my fingers off his rimcage and looks at him puzzled expression on my face.

"What do you mean the first time?"  
I stared at his face confusion eating at everything he just mumbled.

He didn't answer and just turn his gaze away from me, avoiding my questioning eyes.

"What do you mean the first time Kana? care to explain?"  
I asked him again.

" **Ugh, when you have a fever... y-you..**  
 **we..."**  
His unfocused eyes darting low from side to side, embarassment eminent on his face.

"What?! what did I do to you when I am sick? tell me..please."  
I released my arms around his waist and moved to sit beside him, pulling the blanket to cover his nakedness. I am taking this on hold, It takes every once of self control to keep my twitching manhood behind my pants.

_Did I do something to him I'm not aware about?.fuck!._

" **Y-you..K-kissed me like this and do something like this..I-I tried to push you away but you were so strong, like a hungry beast..I-I get carried away so I give in, but you entered me suddenly..and.. and that hurts like hell.. "**  
He explained slowly, teary eyed, taking his time while I caressed his hair to ease his nervousness.

"I did what?!"  
I can see the pain pouring out of his eyes. I can't believe what I just heard.

**"Yeah, and I fuckin kick your ass, then I ran into my bed. You bastard!! I tried damn hard not to kill you the next morning!"**

"Oh my god I'm so sorry..I don't have any idea, I thought I was just having a wonderful dream. That night, I dreamed of making love to you.. but when I woke up, you were on your bed and not beside me, so I thought im having halucinations again. Im so sorry baby.."  
I hugged him tenderly, rained kisses on his forehead, his nose, and his lips.  
I feel so guilty at the revelation.

_How could I do that? Is my lust for him so insatiable that I almost raped him in my sleep?._

**"Hey! who told you, you can call me baby?.Get off me this instant. You pervert. What do you think you were doing to me now?"**  
I think he's now sober and the effect of alcohol is definitely gone..  
But like I have said earlier, nothing can stop me now.

"Let me make it up to you then.. I'll blow your fuckin mind with so much ecstasy like you've never felt before."  
My lips found the hollow of his throat  
and suck the tender skin, marking my teritory, leaving imprints on his quiverring flesh. I shuffle out of my black shirt and throws it on the far corner of the room, my red board shorts and boxer follow suit.

 **"M-Mew..this is not right.. uhhh.."**  
As my right palm finds it's way downward, my lips landed on his right nipple, licking its areola then sucking it with so much fervour. My left hand playing with the other, rolling it between my fingers tugging gently while I give him soft bites.

Kana let out a quiet whimper and arched his body as I started playing with his erect manhood. My lips at the same time, travel down towards his flicking ribcage, kissing his navel, licking and biting the side of his tendons causing him to jerk off my lips.

"You like that?"  
I asked as I continued to lick the smooth skin of his inner thighs.

" **Hmmm.."**  
He is so responsive to my touch that it tickles my mind to do him everything I have ever imagined.

His shaft quivered at every stroke I gave him, I set a slow and steady pace. It's such a turn on to know that it is me who makes him feel this way. My own hard dick twitching in excitement. His hips started moving on it's own rhythm, pushing against my hands.

"Feel it baby..feel every sweet stroke I give you."

" **P-please...uhh.."**  
His lips slightly parted to accomodate his ragged breathing..

"Please what?...tell me..tell me what you want."  
I moved up and down his length, giving it a tight squeeze every now and then, as he flexes his hips into my hands. A low groan escapes from within his throat when I started licking his shaft. I lick him good from the base and twirling my tongue over the tip.

 **"Oh god!..uhh.."**  
He said in a hoarse voice, drowned in so much pleasure.

I placed my open mouth over his dick and swallow him whole, slowly diping my head into his groin, until his whole length is inside my fucking mouth.. I sucked, and his body convulsed in thrill.

I looked up at his flushed face as I begin to push him deeper into my mouth, pacing faster while flicking my tongue across the tip of his erection.  
Wrapping my teeth behind my lip, I clamp my mouth around him. He hisses and groans again, his hands now on the both sides of my head, holding me firm as he flexes his hips against my hot mouth.  
I am fucking him with my mouth deliciously and I pulled him deeper, until I feel him at the back of my throat then pulls out, and in again..I make him my very own version of popsicle. The most delicious flavor in the world. Kana flavor.

I feel his body tense in delight as my suck-lick-dip, mouth-hand motion started to push faster, deeper, tighter.

" **Ahh..Mew..im gonna cum!..im coming..st-stoopp.."**

But I never listen to his cries, I wanna taste his cum in my mouth. I want to be the fist man to make him come with my mouth.

 **"Uuuhhh...Mmmeeww you shit.!"**  
He grips my hair tighter in pain and jerks his hips forward twice, cries out and stills. I felt a warm, sweet liquid oozing down my throat. Warm, creamy, loads..and I willingly swallowed it all.

I let go of his cock then looked up at his sweaty face, breathing heavily. A triumphant smile playing on my lips, as I continue to stroke his smooth legs and thighs..

" **You fucking m-..What have you done?...uhh.."**  
His breathing is ragged, opening his eyes and glared back at me.

"Why? you don't like it?..hmm?"

**"I..a..it's..uumm.."**

"Say it..say you liked it.."  
I said softly as I drop a kiss on his inner thigh then reach out to claim his lips once again. Kissing him hard, letting him taste his own cum from my mouth. His tongue darted towards mine, tasting me, teasing me more..  
His arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer. I can feel he is urging me to do him more. But I have to be sure.

I pulled away, cupped his face between my hands, then looked at him directly into the eyes.

"Please say yes.."  
I said pleading, my own labored breath fanning his pretty face.

**"Y-yes to what?"**

"I want to make love to you. Now. Hard."  
I replied, emphasizing Now.

He stared at me blinking slightly, as if weighing something in his mind.

"Do you trust me?"  
He nodded lightly..my eyes darted at his lips as he sweeps his tongue over his swollen lower lip.

 **"Okay."**  
He said breathlessly.

Then I started to kiss him again all over his body, from his throat, to the small dip of his neck. From his shoulders to sucking lightly at the tips of his fingers. I rained soft, feathery kisses from his thighs to his ankle, biting the soft skin of his calves.  
He writhe on my every touch, every kiss, every sucked skin.

I stand up and leave him for a second to retrieve a lubricating gel from my travelling bag. He just lie there motionless, his burning eyes never leaving my every move until I came back to his side.

I skim my hands to the back of his knees, hitched it up high and parting his legs wide. I eyed his puckering hole deliciously. He inhaled deeply and I hope that is because of anticipation. Then I set forth to lubricate his asshole, making him jolt as I massage his rim slowly, taking my precious time to stretch him..My left hand playing with his shaft, while the right is unto his delicious hole. I slowly slip a single finger inside, feeling the warm flesh envelops my trembling middle finger. He let out another soft whimper as I held my breath in ecstasy.

_Uhhh...he is so tight..I wanna fuck him now..shit!_

"Relax baby..it will feel more intense later."

I begin to move slowly in and out of him, taking in every glorious emotions passing by his face as my finger roamed inside him. Looking for that sweet bundle of glands in the depths of him. When he suddenly grasped at the sheets tightly and cries out my name..

_Found ya._

I inserted another finger into his soft folds and he grips tighter at the sheets. Slowly, pushing in, pushing out, stretching him..scissoring inside him. He starts to whimper, His hips grinding around and around. Moving with my fingers, he looked so delectable with his arched neck and blushing skin.

_God! I want him now!._

When his legs stiffen, I know it is working pretty well. So I sit up, pulled out my fingers from his rim and poured an ample amount of lubricant into my throbbing cock. I positioned myself between his legs and spread his legs even wider, he looked at me with a mixture of lust and apprehension under that hooded eyes, and I touched his cheeks lightly, kissing his bended knee.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you like the first time."  
I said tenderly, cajoling him.

I leaned forward then shifted my weight into my arms positioned on either side of his head. I want to see his face closer as I enter him.

"Ready?"  
 _Please don't say no.._  
I've never been so aroused like this my whole life.

**"Y-yes please.."**

I placed my aching manhood at the entrance of his heavenly folds. I am so fucking him now! I thrust slowly, until I felt the head slips easily into, then another thrust, half of it went through. He cries in pain and grip my biceps tightly, his breathing hissing in agony.

"Sshhhh..relax baby..Im going to be gentle.. breath in... breath out..slowly..like that.."  
Ughh..he is so tight and I am restraining myself to my utmost capacity not to move.  
His insides is so warm, quiverring around me, hugging my cock in a very warm welcome.  
My head began to feel numb, I can't feel, I can't see, smell anything else beside him beneath me. It's as if all my senses gather together into my hard cock. Nothing else matters.  
I kissed him hungrily, letting him feel the emotions I am feeling right now, and he responded with the same intensity. Sucking my tongue, as I began to move slowly easing into him  
I thrust harder, hitting that pleasure gland underneath. He jolted and arched his back in delight..

"You like that?"  
I asked him, my hoarse voice can't deny the height of my gratification.

He nodded quickly and I thrust into him more deeply. Again..

" **Hahhh...Move faster please.."**  
He pleaded and that cuts my last thread of self control. I began to move, really move. Every thrust deeper and bolder, hitting the mark with each penetration making him squeal in euphoria. I am fucking his body, but he is fucking with my soul, pushing me to the edge of my restraint.

 **"Uhhhh...shit!..fuck me more!..ahhhh.."**  
He 's holding me tight, his arms around my shoulders and his face burried into the collar of my throat.

Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of happiness engulfs me. I want to make him come, I won't stop until he does.  
So I drove harder, deeper, he started meeting my every thrust.. moving in rhythm with me. We fit perfectly together.

 _God..it felt so good, so right_..

Until I felt his muscles hardened, then trembled..he is near..I can feel it, he is clenching painfully at my dick..

"Yes..yes..come for me baby..come for me.."  
I whispered in his ear, then after a few deep thrusts, I feel him squirt his oozing cum into my abs. His body convulsed, eyes dilated into the back of his head, and his slightly opened mouth tips me over to my own primal release, shutting my eyes tightly, I can feel him squeeze me, deliciously clamping around me. I fill his arse with my seed., shuddering in so much pleasure no words could define. How I've waited to do this, to have him like this..My elated soul seems to drift back when I opened my eyes, he was looking back at me with such wonder in those dark doe eyes.  
He looks so beautiful with all that ecstasy written all over his face.  
I kissed his forehead tenderly as I tried to catch my breath.

He winced as I pulled out of him, then slip to lie down beside him. Hugging his waist and snuggling in his neck.

"How are you feeling?"  
I asked him moving away a little bit.

 **"Uh, Fine I guess.."**  
He looks back at me and smiled the very first smile that he gave me .oh that was lovely..

"Are you sure?"  
I stroked his cheeks lovingly.

**"Yes, what was that? I never felt something like this before."**

"But of course, I am your first, how could you-..unless..have you had sex before?"

**"N-no."**

"See?.hmm..how you like that?"

 **"It's great.. you're amazing. "**  
I felt the rush of pride into my chest.  
And in a span of Two minutes, I'm already hard again.  
I wan't him again.

So I grabbed his wrist, flipped him on his front and put a pillow under his middlehalf. I wan't to fuck him from behind. This is so fucking exciting!

I fingered him again from behind, inserting my thumb into his rim and gently pushed in and out. My other hand holds his erection and moved up and down with it.  
He gasps for air and groans loudly as I fasten my pace with his shaft.

" **uhhhh Mew, What the fuck are you doing? no more..that's enough! ugh!"**.  
He said panting under my touch.

"Oh no baby, we are just getting started."

*************************************

A/N:  
🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤  
Oh my god.  
I just finished my first ever sex scene.  
I can't believe it.  
😭😭😭  
  
😊✌️  
  
my brain is malfunctioning at the moment.  
gotta go..keep safe.  
bye.

-phinutz


	13. TAKE ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How shameful it is to say that I want you, all of you? I want to feel you inside me, deep inside me. I want you to tell me when you're going to cum, hear you moan my name and fuck me harder again and again.
> 
> -GULF

*************************************  
 **"How nice is this? hmmm?"**  
Mew asked behind my ear, I can feel his breath and it tickles the hell out of me as he rammed his thumb in and out my swollen hole. It stings but deliciously feeling good at the same time. My mind is so fucked up, I don't know what to feel anymore. I can't focus on everything at the same time. My body is trembling from having cum a couple of times already, I lost count after four. But Mew seems far from being finished, his insatiable need seems endless and I'm starting to feel my strength dropping out swiftly.

"Ahhhh..Mew..haven't you had enough yet? you beast..."

" **No baby,...I wanted you for the longest time, and I'm just quenching my thirst now...I want you sore in the morning, that shall remind you where I have been.."**  
He said tugging at my banged up nipple, sending shivers down my groin. I feel myself hardened again, as I lie on my chest, face down on the bed, A pillow under my stomach, holding my ass up. My knees spread widely as he rub me from behind. I moaned, struggling not to move. It's sweet agonizing torture.  
His warm fingers traced the hollow of my back, making my over sensitive skin twitch in attention. He smoothered my bottom then slapped my ass, my hips flex automatically from the impact. The sting sends a thousand electricity into my aching manhood.

_Oh god, why this feels so amazing?.what on earth is happening to me?._

My innerself is in chaos and my fucking mind stopped functioning the moment he make me cum into his mouth. That was too blissful to handle. He moved then I felt his lips on my bums, he is kissing me there..licking me, biting me softly..sucking..and when he licks my rim, nothing else matters anymore but that tiny hole in my behind. Nothing else registered in my senses, just the sweet head wracking sensation he is giving me and I can't help myself from moaning, arching my back like a fucking gymnast. Shit!

"Ahhhhh...Mmmeeww!..t-that is soo good...uhhh."

He inserted two fingers yet again, penetrating my insides, playing with it, driving me to the edge of intense pleasure. Tantalizingly slow in and out, and I push against him, tilting my hips up, grinding in his every stroke.

**"Hmm, greedy much?"**

"Ahh..you're such a tease...please do it..N-now..please.."  
I pleaded into him. I don't think I can hold it any longer, my insides is numbing in so much ecstasy my nerves can ever handle. His fingers still moving rythmically inside me, circling, pressing that delicious gland.   
My legs begin to stiffen as I feel my release coming fast..then he stopped.

 _Mew!_  
I screamed in my head. He is doing it on purpose.. Fuck this!. I catch my breath looking back at him, my eyes hooded with so much desire I know he can clearly see. Then he started to move his fingers again, repeating the process and stopping when im on the brick of release...

"Oh god please!..you fucking asshole!"  
I can't help but cry in frustration..

 **"Please what?..tell me what you want.."**  
He said darkly, teasing me as he licked his lower lip in such a sexy way my throat feels dry.

"Ahhh...please g-get inside me now...now!"  
I replied softly..embarassment eating me as I feel my face getting hot.

**"Oh..this is your punishment for dancing so seductive earlier, is it so frustrating to be so near yet so far?.tell me how shall I fuck you this time?..tell me what's on your mind."**

"Ahhhh..fuck me hard. Please."  
I closed my eyes in shame. I can't believe I just said that. I can't believe what I am doing now. I can't believe this at all, but here I am, writhing against him like a manwhore. Engulf in total abandonement.

 **"As you please, I shall obey, I am your thaat remember?"**  
He said hissing, his breath became ragged and I prepare my self for the worst.

He withdraw his fingers from me and I jolt in the sensation. But I wasn't prepared for the sudden assault of his dick into me. I gasp as I feel his eight inches of glory fill me up totally, making my insides quiver in excitement.

 _Please fuck me now!_  
My subconscious is now delirious, panting from anticipation.

He slammed into me hard. once, twice, and on the third thrust, I came into my climax again and again as he continued to slam deliciously into me, never slowing down. He doesn't stop, he pounce on me again and again. I can't take this anymore...my head is spinning.. He pounded on and on.. and on.. my body is trembling so hard and I bury my face into the sheets to suppress my muffled scream.

_Fuckkkk!!! Im comming again! fuck this..fuck Mew..fuck me!._

Im building again..

_oh no..no..no more please..._

"Aahhhhhhhhhhh!.. Mmmeeww!!!..ffuucckkkk!!"  
I tried but I really can't hold back my screams..my neck and back arches on their own and my eyes were probably up to the ceiling as I feel the surge after surge of euphoria sweeping my whole body..

 **"Come for me again baby..come...uhhhh..you're so fuckin hot..so divine.."**  
He growls through clenched teeth as he hit that spot inside me again and again, while his left hand hold my shaft, rubbing up and down slamming hard, squeezing my tip. And instantly, My body convulsed as I climaxed anew, shattering into fragments like a shattered glass.

 **"Ahhh..Kana..my sweet sweet baby..ahh.."**  
He chants in my ear, holding my waist tightly.

My body still in turmoil when he thrusts hard one more time then stills, finding his own release, filling me up to the brim..trembling as he grunts a low version of my name..and that brings me to the edge of no return.. I slumped at the bed exhausted, closed my eyes then my mind falls unconscious into blackness.

\---------------------------------------------------  
I woke up in a warm and comfortable feeling being naked under the sheets. I can feel the soft touch of lights on my face, so I slowly opened my eyes and greeted by the delicate sunlight coming through the white satin curtains of the lanai, coaxing me to wake up. The room is airily quiet and I blinked a couple of times to adjust my sight.

I saw Mew at the side of the bed just  
an arms length away from me, wearing a white Tshirt and facing the opposite side. I took the moment to quietly observe his physique. His hair is neatly combed, the broad shoulders flexing at his every little movements.  
Flashes of memory came rushing through my mind, memory of me clinging into those strong shoulders, writhing beneath...And his veiny hands..those hands roaming around my body..A sudden heat surge, running fast towards my groin.

I winced as I felt the sharp sting on my rimhole. My ass felt like it has been rammed pretty good. I'm sore of course, after that humpings like an animal in heat. My body aches all over and I don't think I can even sit up at this rate. I wish I have done a little stretching before the 'event' eh?

 **"Yes uncle, okay.. Understood."**  
He is talking to someone on the phone, im guessing it's my dad. How come he talks to Mew more often than me, his son?.

His hair looks so soft and before I knew it, my hands were up, on the way to touch his nape but stops on mid air when I heard what he mumbles next.

**"Yes uncle, I will take care of everything. See you in two days."**

_Huh? what do you mean 'see you in two days'??_

I instantly draws back my hand as he turns to look at me. He smiled at once upon looking at my fresh-from-sleep eyes. He looks so delectable in the morning, I held my breath for a couple of seconds while staring at his soft brown eyes, forgetting about the words that I heard. His lips curved in a sweet smile, and I remember what those lips have done all over my body. I remember how those luscious lips brought me to ninth heaven countless of times, and that makes me blush even more. What have this man do to me? Why am I suddenly confused about my sexual orrientation? I am straight, for fucks sake!

 **"You're awake..How are you feeling?"**  
He leaned closer touching my hair lightly, My heart skipped a bit, making me more confused.

"W-what do you think? you asshole..taking advantage of me while I'm drunk."  
I replied in a hoarse voice I can't even recognize as my own.

He smiled and let out a soft chuckle then kissed my forehead.

"What do you think you're doing?"  
I pushed him away and throw a disgusted look that taken him a back.

_What do you think of me? a manwhore? that after you fucked me I'll act as if nothing happened?_

I want to spat at him like that but my throat seems very dry and my body felt so weak to start an argument.

 **"Can you sit up? I brought food from the hotel restaurant. Fried rice, Bacon and eggs with hot choco for breakfast."**  
He smiled again never minding the scowl I am giving him.

Holy cow, I am suddenly hungry upon hearing the word breakfast. So I tried to sit up slowly, wincing at the pain as Mew helped me sit comfortably placing a pillow behind my back to lean on the white headboard.  
I am starving, so I started to dig into the hearty food placed infront of me.

**"By the way, your father called, They have caught your stalker. We are free to go back to Thailand now."**

The spoon on the way to my mouth hangs in mid air upon hearing what he said, mouth dropped open and I stared at him stunned. My vacation is over.

"Alaiwa?!"

*************************************


	14. Realized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just sad because I think, maybe, I already like you, more than I liked anyone before. Tonight, I got slapped in the face with the reality that I'll never be able to call you mine, and what hurts more is that it isn't a very big deal to you.
> 
> -Gulf

_*************************************_  
BANGKOK, THAILAND

 **"Welcome home honey! I've missed you so much!"**  
Mom welcomed me in a tight hug the moment I stepped out of the car. Mew and I arrived at the Traipipatanapong mansion about past ten in the morning. Her eyes twinkled in so much affection. Her arms automatically encircled me into a very warm embrace.

"Ugh, you missed me so much, you called me only twice."  
I said sulking, letting go from her suffocating hug. I missed her too and I missed to tease her as well like this. I missed her pout every time I pretend to be sulking at her.

 **"Honey, I'm so sorry, God knows how much I wanted to call you almost every day, but your father warned me that the stalker might trace your location if I do that. Darling I'm really sorry, you don't know how worried I was."**  
She said cupping my face between her palms, her voice quiver as tears started to form on the rim of her eyes.

"Nah, I'm not angry. I'm just kidding mae, don't cry na. I'm glad that it is all over now. I'm back, and that is all that matters."  
I said brushing her back slowly, smiling. Now that I thought about it, I kinda miss my fans. I miss the warm welcome and cheers, even the blinding lights and camera flashes. I even miss my friends, thou I don't meet them too often, and I took a mental note to schedule a get together.

 **"Let's go inside, your father is waiting for you. You lost weight, what have you been doing?"**  
She touched my cheek one more time and kissed my forehead before she holds my hand and guided me towards the white painted mansion with beige and dark brown accents.  
After having to live in a foreign land for a few weeks, I now realized how lavish our house was. From the grandiose and massive front porch to the high, big cylindrical pillars on both sides of the entrance door, it looks like a cut out from Architech today's magazine. It's big glass windows mirrors the sky and gives such an amazing view specially during sunset. As we enter the big wooden framed glass door, I was welcomed by the familiar scent of home.

 **"My son, welcome back. How's your vacation?"**  
My father immediately stands up from the cream colored couch where he was seating, as we entered the living room. We hugged each other and father gently taps the back of my shoulder, giving me a feeling of re assurance that everything has taken cared of.

 **"I am very glad you're finally back, your mother threatened to kill me if I couldn't find the culprit for another month."**  
He laughed jokingly.

"Thank you for finding him for me por, where is he now?"  
We let go of each other and settled in to sit, my mother resting beside me, her arms around my waist. She really did miss me.

 **"Don't worry about him, he's in good hands. Probably fondling the jail bars."**  
We laughed all together in glee.

I am truly happy that the stalker has been taken cared of. I'll be more at ease everytime I have a work to attend. I won't be anxious anymore specially now I have Mew beside me all the time. And speaking of Mew..

 **"Mew, how was your vacation? Don't be so stiff there, you may sit down."**  
Said mae.

My eyes automatically turned around to find him, but he was looking intently at something. His eyes full of shock and astonishment, as if he had seen a ghost. I followed the direction of his sight and saw a woman standing behind the couch where my father is sitting. She is with the same stunned expression as Mew.

She was impeccably tall for an asian woman, about 5'8 or so, I can say she has a slender body from the fit of the black three piece suit she is wearing..She has a pale complexion, crowned with a waist length straight black hair. Her almond shaped eyes as black as midnight adorned with long lashes below a shady eyebrows and shadowed by a bangs. She has a narrow bridged nose, soft high cheek bones and small pouty lips. She has that gentle yet dangerous aura lurking around her, I can't put words into it.

My father must have noticed the way I am looking at the lady behind him, so he introduced her to us.

 **"Son, I want you to meet Ms. Ji-nie Hwang. She will be joining Mew as your body guard, for added security."**  
I looked at my father in surprise then gaped at Ms. Hwang. I can't believe at what I just heard.

 **"Hi sir, you may call me Ji-nie, I'm from Hongkong. My father is thai and my mother is Chinese. I shall protect you with my life and I can guarantee your safety with me."**  
She smiled, vowed and wai at me then look again with contempt at Mew, which makes my eyebrow arch in curiosity as I wai back in respect.

 **"I-is that you Jin? You remember me? I am Mew."**  
Mew asked with uncertainty, disbelief evident in his voice.

" **Yes it is me Jin. And yes, I remember you, Captain Jongcheveevat."**  
She smiled broadly as Mew moved forward. She offered a handshake but Mew hugged her tightly.   
HE FUCKING HUGGED HER!   
My eyes widens in bewilderment.

He hugged her, Like a man who hasn't seen his lover for a long time. His arms wrapped around her small waist and hers goes up his nape. They hugged tightly and I can see the happiness radiating from Ms. Hwang. I feel a pang of jealousy, like a sudden punch in my gut. Not the heart-crushing pain, but the kind of sting in the chest, like a needle into the pin cushion, getting thru smoothly..I tried to set aside the unpleasant feeling, focused on the questions that bugged my mind.

 _They know each other? and they're in a first name basis huh_? _More than a friend?_

I know I don't have the right to feel this way, nor have the right to own him, but I hold every ounce of my self restraint not to stand up and claim him.  
They let go of each other, Mew turning to face us and I hitched my breath when our eyes met. I hope I was fast enough to hide the hostility in my eyes, my brows frown in confusion and as if Mew can read my mind, he explained.

 **"Uhm, I'm sorry uncle, Auntie, for the sudden outburst, you see, Jin...I mean Ms. Hwang here and I, We are in the same platoon way back in the army. She was our sniper extra ordinaire, good in physical combat and trustworthy."**  
He glanced once again at Ms. Hwang with such pride in his eyes. And I don't like that. I don't like that at all. I don't like how he stands awefully close to her, don't like the least the way his arm was wrapped around her shoulder.

 **"Oh really? that's great. You won't have any problems working with each other then!."**  
My father exclaimed, beaming with triumph.

"But por, I thought you had already caught the stalker? What is this added security for?"  
I asked in annoyance. I don't like too many people lurking around me. It makes me feel suffocated, just having Mew around is enoughof a head ache.

 **"It is my request honey, to add a personnel for your security. I can't sleep at night thinking what if something bad must happened to my only child? I can't bear the thought of losing you my baby."**  
Mom hugged me tightly and kissed both of my cheeks that arise a soft giggle from me.

"Mae, I am a grown up man, and there is Mew to protect me."  
I cajolled her hugging her in return.

 **"But you'll never know when accidents will happen. One added person might be a great help. Just trust me in this son."**  
Dad eyed me seriously and I merely sighed in submission. But looking at how Mew and his acquaintance  
eyed each other excitedly, I lost my appetite in catching up with my parents. Uneasiness ripples down my spine. And before I could say or do something stupid enough to embarrass myself, I excused to retire early into my room.

"Uhm por, mae, can I take a rest for a while in my room?"  
Mew's gaze darted at me instantly, his wide smile fading slightly, and.. is that a shadow of concern in his brown yes?

_How dare you look at me like that while being so clingy to that woman!_

**"But darling how about lunch? the foods will be ready in a minute. Are you okay? do you feel sick?"**  
My mother holds my hand, worried that I may be feeling bad about the sudden decisions they have yet again enforced on me.

"No mae, I'm fine. Just tired from the trip. I'm not really hungry, Mr. Jongcheveevat make sure of that."  
I can't help the slight hard drop of his name slipping out of my tongue, I took a deep breath before standing up and bow respectfully to my dad and the rest.

 **"Okay son, you better take a rest and we'll talk later."**  
My dad taps my shoulder and without a single glance at the two standing figures, I turn around and headed for my room to hide away the confusing feelings Mew started to stir within me.

\---------------------------------------------------  
I decided to call Mild and the rest of my friends to play games with them online. This is the only way I know how to divert my attention and to distract me from having unchastened thoughts. I played and played for merely two hours when..

I heard a soft knock on the door followed by Mew's voice calling for lunch.

**"Kana, lunch's ready. Your mother requested me to come and fetch you."**

"For a while."  
I answered as I message my friends who I am playing with at the moment.

_'_ _**I gotta go guys, parents called for lunch. Catch you later. Mild, cover for me.'** _

I asked Mild, the closest one to me among the rest.

_**'No prob. Bro. see you later.'** _

I logged out of the server then abruptly stand up and walked towards the door. I was surprised to see Mew still waiting outside, I thought he already left but here he is, smiling goofily at my shocked face.

"Ooi, You startled me. I thought you left already."

 **"Why would I? Your mother clearly said to fetch you, not to just call for you."**  
He said taking my wrist, pulling me lightly towards his body, so that I get out of the room then he closes the door behind me.

" **After you."**  
He said softly in my ear sending cold shivers down my spine. Now I'm fully aware of his warm body so close to mine, we aren't touching and yet I can feel his presence taking over me. My head began to feel dizzy due to the sudden rush of oxygen into my brain brought up by my thumping heart, and I feel the tightening grip resonating inside my groin. He's really good at this game, the flirting game.

"Ughm, Ai sat!"  
I cleared my throat, and willed myself to move forward despite the wild urge to wrap my arms around his neck and claim his naughty mouth. All I can think about now is how bad I wanted to be kissed, and I can't find any logical reason why.  
I can almost feel his hot gaze on my back as I walk ahead of him towards the dining room.

_You can look but you can't touch dick!._

The smell of delicious food makes my stomach growl in hunger upon entrance to the large dining hall. The twenty two-seater dining table was clothed in a white table mantle with swirls of gold accent at the hem. Equally gold place mats were placed along the occupied seats with plates and utensils on it. The arrangement was grand for a simple lunch for a family of three. Foods were over flowing, there were steamed seafoods, curry, beef steak, stir fried vegetables, roasted duck and my eyes immediately look for my favorite, the crispy pork with basil leaves.

"Mom, what's the occasion? Why there's so many food on the table?"  
I asked as I took my seat at my father's right side. My mother is in front of me.

 **"It's to celebrate your return of course!..Mr. Suppasit, Ms. Hwang, please join us."**  
She said looking at Mew and Ms. Hwang who I didn't even notice standing by the door. I'm wondering if I've been paying less attention or she's got a hell of an ability to hide her presence in front of my eyes.

 **"If you insist, then we shall."**  
Mew said taking a seat beside me, and Ms. Hwang next to him who just noded with a shy smile.

 **"Of course, we are family here, no need for formalities. It's a little lonesome to have an only child. If I have been luckier, I want a dozen children. Hahaha."**  
My father laughed out loud and my mom pokes him on the side and pouted her red colored lips.

**"A dozen? You couldn't even last for two rounds, how could you asked for more?Hmp."**

" **Oi Oi Oi, don't embarrass me in front of my son, He might believe you."**

" **You and your non sense. Stop it, let's eat."**  
She rolled her eyes on father and I laughed at their small exchanged banter.

Before I could even grab my spoon, Mew already placed a plate full of foods infront of me including my favorite crispy pork, get a spoon and fork then puts them in my hands. He then placed the white table napkin on my lap. Grabs a glass then fills it with pineapple juice which I like best. There he goes again, treating me like a princess, like a vulnerable piece of glass. I don't want to but I've been overly sensitive now when it comes to this asshole's where abouts. I tend to notice each movements no matter how little it may be. Thus making my heart flutter, he looked at me and I hold his gaze for one whole minute, or maybe forever..but eventually, the agitation turned into a moment of embarassment. I looked away from him and saw my parents looking at us awkwardly, my face turned red hot in a hard blush. Then mindlessly, I snapped.

"What the hell are you doing?"  
I gazed at Mew hotly.

 **"Im serving you? Wasn't it obvious?"**  
He looked at me innocently but I know otherwise, he is doing it in purpose.

"Am I handicapped that I can't even eat by myself? I told you stop treating me like a fucking girl!."  
I totally lost out of control, my temper get the best out of me when I feel confused and mortified at the same time. My chest was heaving in ragged breathing, hands fisted at my side. I am so angry.

_How could you treat me softly like this infront of my parents? How dare you to make me feel like less of a man I am._

I am Angry at Mew for making me look frail in front of my parents, and I'm equally angry at my self for feeling flattered at everything he does for me. This is not right.

"I lost my appetite. Mae, phor, I'm sorry but if you'll excuse me."  
I stand up and without a second glance, leave the dining hall.  
\--------------------------------------------------

I lied in my bed lazily, my arms and legs sprawled wide like Da Vinci's the Vitruvian man. My thoughts are in a mess, in chaos. I have been lying there for about an hour or maybe more but my mind was still in dissarray. Mew and this baffling feelings that starts to root in my chest is driving me crazy, that's for sure. How am I suppose to explain this?

I tried to divert my attention into playing games all day, I ended up eating lunch alone in my room, in my mother's much dissapointment. I don't wanna see Mew right now, or more like, I'm not ready to face him.  
He keeps on bugging my head, all the things that he does, the confusing feelings he make me feel. His words, his body, the memory of his love making.. I closed my eyes...as my body hums in recollection..my muscles contract deliciously down my groin. I took a deep breath as warmth wash over me.

I know it would take time to erase the feel of his arms around me, or his wonderful fragrance from my brain. I need to fight this feeling, thou I gave in that one moment, it doesn't mean that I'm willing to do it again.

 _Are you really not?_  
my innerself asked back.   
_What the hell??_

I closed my eyes in frustration. I have never been in a situation like this before, I never thought about someone as deep as this jerk, because that is, I have never liked someone before.

 _So am I admitting that I like Mew?_  
Fuck no!

I took a deep breath then sit up, my eyes landing on the large windows overlooking the garden. I decided to stand up and look out, hoping the view will clear my mind even for a bit.

My window has the best view to our vast garden of about ten acres, full of bed of Roses, which was my mother's favorite. It is in a variety of colors encircling a fountain at the center. There were Daisies and assortment of others from Daffodils to Zinias and Marigolds on the side. The setting sun adds a warm glow into the scenic view.

In the far left stands a wooden bench and a steel framed swing beside it, where mae usually sits when she has to memorize scripts. The swing is my happy place, reminds me of those times when I get suffocated with the four corners of my room, I will get down there and lounge at the swing for hours.

So I decided to come down to breathe some fresh air that might help me clear my thoughts, when something moving caught the corners of my eye. 50 yards away to the right, there stands Mew and Ms. Hwang. They were dancing? No, they were sparring.

Ms. Hwang is wearing a gray midriff tank top, her abs looks tight, and a black cycling short showing that voluptuous curves and well toned leg muscles. She is barefooted. Her jet black straight hair was tied in a pony tail above her head.

While Mew was half naked, with just a black jogger pants on and also barefooted on the grass. His sweat covered body glistens deliciously in the afternoon sunlight, I can't help but to linger my gaze upon his bulging muscles. How I missed to bite my nails into that broad shoulders, to nozzle my nose in the hollow of his collarbone. And the memory of that wonderful night makes me ache inside, damn!

His wet hair dangling down his serious face shadowing his darkened focused eyes. He looks so damn sexy with that expression on, and I felt my groin twitch in appreciation.

_I love the view._   
_crap! what the fuck am I thinking?_

His expression pulls at that dark part of me, the one he manages to pull out of my bland emotions, burried in the depths of my heart. He awaken my libido in the most fascinating way and now I'm insatiable, I want more..but I don't know how to fulfill it. Should I walk over to him now and say,   
_'Hey, I want you now, have sex with me.' How insane is that?!_

I thought to myself and draw a long deep breath to calm my shivering nerves. They started to prance around each other, like a lion and a tiger in battle for the prey. Ms. Hwang lunges forward releasing a series of jabs and kicks left and right, which Mew dodged gracefully, as if he already knew where the next attack will land. They looked like dancing in a rhythm without the music. It looks beautiful.

Ms. Hwang then dropped on her knees, get her hands on the grass, kicked his right leg, jumps a foot away then released a roundhouse targeting his shin. If Mew wasn't fast enough, he would've been knocked out by that attack.  
Mew counter attacked and got a hold of her waist then throws her up into the air, dropping her on the grass side rib first. I watched in astonishment at what is happening. They were amazing fighters, I believe, dad has indeed made a good choice.

They ended up entangled on the grass, Mew's face was in between Ms. Hwang's knees and his left arm twisted in a painful grip by the latter. Something stingy tugs at my chest looking at the scene below. I feel uncomfortable. They untwine their bodies, standing up laughing at each other when all of a sudden, Mew looked up at the direction of my room. He would've seen me if I wasn't fast enough to hide behind the white curtains. My heart beats so fast that it hurts my lungs from catching my breath. I feel the warm flush crept up my face, my cheeks and ears felt so hot, feeling guilty as if I am about to get caught doing something naughty.

_Ugh!..shiaaa!_   
_This is so frustrating!_

_\---------------------------------------------------_  
L'OFFICIEL PHOTO SHOOT

I am again, back in the game. After a week of staying at home, meetings here and there with Phi Best, I am more enthusiastic to go back to work. Staying at home makes me think a lot about my wavering feelings and online games do no good at all. I realized I must work to keep my mind occupied, in that way maybe, just maybe I can forget all this nonsense I am harboring.

As the strobe lights were turned towards me, I can't clearly see beyond the lights, where 10 or more people were scatterred everywhere. Phi best, Mew and Ms. Hwang included. The photagraphers keep snapping pictures and I poses in greedily.

Ever since the incident at the dining hall, Mew has been noticeably distant with me. Whenever I need assistance, it is Ms. Hwang who will come. He hasn't approached me in any form and I admit I am missing his annoying presence, his undivided attention. Everytime our eyes met, he instantly looked away as if looking at me will burn him. I am sorry for what I did back there, yes, but I know nothing about making amends and the sort. I grew up getting my way through almost everything, and saying sorry is not my cup of tea.

When all of a sudden, the lights went off, someone has accidentally kicked the wirings and unplugged the strobe lights making the background visible to my eyes. Mew laughing wholeheartedly with Ms. Hwang while handing her a bottle of water is the first view that greets my sight. They looked really comfortable with each other, that makes me miss his clinginess towards me more. Mew 's eyes flew towards me the instant the lights went off and I caught a glimpse of fret in his hazel vision. I meet his steady gaze on me for quite a moment, drinking in each others appearance. He was wearing that undying black three-piece-suit that hugs perfectly on his broad shoulders and narrow hips. He is too gloriously good looking, in that new haircut, my breath hitched. Then the moment was over when I get blinded by the turning on of the lights.

But the scene that I witnessed kept lingering on my mind, I am deeply bothered, I can't concentrate with the photo shoot anymore. I undoubtedly need to get this out of my chest, and it can't wait till I get back home.  
So I signalled the photographer to stop. Then I walk briskly towards Phi Best.

"Phi, I need a Fifteen minute break, can I?"  
I said, my breath quickening in nervousness i guess?

**"Of course, what do you want? water? are you hungry?"**

"No phi, I just need a quick break. Ms. Hwang, please stay here. Mew, I want to talk to you in private."  
Then I signalled Mew to follow me into the Vip dressing room.

Hundreds of thoughts running through my mind all at the same time as I walk ahead to my private room. Undecided what to talk about first, the things that I want to tell him or the feelings that I want to convey.

_Am I making a confession now? do I have to? what if he rejects me? Am I gay? did I bend into the other side because of him?_   
_ughh..damn!_

I came in first, taking off my blue suit and hanging it on a chair. I also unbuttoned three from the top of my long sleeved white polo.

 **"What is it Kana? are you okay?"**  
He asked as he enters the room.

"Please lock the door."  
I said softly, merely a whisper while I am holding my breath. He complied, then looked at me puzzled.

The moments after that were like a   
romantic movie scene, taking him by surprise. I lunges forward into him, my arms wrapping around his nape and pinning him into the wall with my body. I capture his Icy mouth into mine and sucked him in a kiss so deep he lost his breathing. My heart is pounding rapidly, my blood is pumping through my body. Desire, so thick and hot sings into my veins, radiating all my repressed emotions.  
He managed to hold my cheeks on both sides and gently pulled off the kiss.

 **"What is the meaning of this Kana?"**  
he said breathing raggedly, I can feel his bulging need beneath my belly and that gives me enough courage to ravish him once again.

"WE SHOULD FUCK. Like right now, right here. Hard, fast.Push me up against the wall and do dirty things to me, kiss me hard, look me in the eyes and fuck me like you've never fucked someone before."  
I replied breathily, like a wanton who lost his mind. I challenged him looking straight into the depths of his hazel brown eyes. I don't care what happens next anymore. All I think about is this moment, how I want him to be inside me.

 **"Oh baby...I am still your slave."**  
He replied huskily calling in for the deepest, darkest part of me that clenched in the most delicious fashion. The pain is so sweet and sharp I closed my eyes and gave in to my humane needs.

*************************************


	15. WEAK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lovemaking was always risk and promise. For if he held my life in his hands, I held his soul in mine, and he knew it, but still want it.
> 
> -Gulf

_*************************************_

**"I suggest you stop this now, continue your shoot or I'll be the one shooting on you atop that dressing table."**  
He whispered on my lips the moment we let go for a while to gasp for breath.

"I choose the dresser."  
I replied deliriously, my mind is clouded with so much passion I can't think clearly anymore **.**

 **"Are** **you sure about that?"**  
His eyes hooded with pervor, longing, trepidation and pain.

"Yes. Please don't make me use my mind right now."  
I moan in despair. Desire swept through me like a raging fire, blazing, putting it off will surely be the death of me. I don't want to think, thinking clearly hurts like hell.

When all of a sudden, a music broke the silence. Someone fumbles into the sound system and a classic floats in the air...making it insanely impossible to control my moans.

_I don't know what it is that you've done to me_   
_But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way_   
_Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing_   
_It's a feeling that I don't understand_

**"Fuck you then, I shall."**  
His voice is feral, so dark and lustful. Suddenly his strong arms are around me, encircling my waist, twisting, pinning me to the wall and he hovers above me, his hand tugs at my hair painfully so that my lips meet his demanding kiss.

_Cause my heart starts beating triple time_   
_With thoughts of loving you on my mind_   
_I can't figure out just what to do_   
_When the cause and cure is you._

**"Oh Kana.."**  
He groans wildly, he grasps my chin to hold me in place as he plunged into the depths of my mouth. He kissed me so hard, I can feel my tongue being sucked out like a vacuum. He pulled at my lower lip ang gently bites as I groan in response.

_I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak_   
_I lose all control and something takes over me._   
_In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase_   
_I want you to stay with me, by my side_   
_I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet._

"Uhhhh.."  
I moan in pleasure as his fingers travelled from my neck to my open chest, squeezing me lightly, leaving small flickering fire into my skin.

 **"Nice pants by the way, can I test the zipper?"**  
he asked teasingly before he unbuckles my belt then pulls down my pants halfway through my thighs. He cups my aching manhood beneath the loin cloth and it drives me even more crazier, caressing me, sending shivers down my spine just like he always did.

_It knocks me right off of my feet_   
_Can't explain why your loving makes me weak._

**"You make me want to be so fucking naughty."**  
He groaned as he slids his palm under my boxer, getting a hold of my hard shaft, taunting me to surrender.

_Time after time after time I've tried to fight it_   
_But your love is strong it keeps on holding on_   
_Resistance is down when you're around, starts fading_   
_In my condition I don't want to be alone_

**"I'm trying to be courteous atleast..but you're too frickin' sexy. How long do we have left?"**

"A-about ten minutes.. give or take.."  
I said panting in excitement. This is what I wanted all along right?.I need a release..maybe only then, I can forget him and everything he is making me feel.

_'_ _Cause my heart starts beating triple time_   
_With thoughts of loving you on my mind_   
_I can't figure out just what to do_   
_When the cause and cure is you, oh_

I was caught off-guard when he pulls me suddenly towards the dressing table, turned me around so that I am facing the mirror. I am pinned between the table and his hard lust behind me. He looked at me thru the mirror, his eyes are burning.

 **"I will bury myself so deep into you, you will feel hollow when I'm not with you."**  
He mumbled under his ragged breathing.

_I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak_   
_I lose all control and something takes over me_   
_In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase_   
_I want you to stay with me, by my side_   
_I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet_   
_It knocks me right off of my feet_   
_Can't explain why your loving makes me weak_

"Yes please..don't hold back..."  
I grunted breathily..pleading, surrendering my sanity. Hearing those words from him is almost maddening.

He undoes his fly, as I lean panting on the mirror. Looking at his scrumptious reflection.  
I know it's gonna be rough, and I love that.

 **"Oh, trust me I won't. Hold tight, it's gonna be a bumpy ride."**  
He pulled out two foil packets of condom, ripped one and slide it down on me easily.

"Always ready huh?.."  
I smirked.

 **"We don't want that suit ruined, do we? and besides, can you handle some extra attention from the eyes outside that door?..hmm?"**  
Arching his brows at me, I heard another foil ripping and he pulled it down on his own thick rod.

_I try hard to fight it_   
_No way can I deny it_   
_Your love's so sweet_   
_It knocks me off my feet_

**"Here I come baby."**  
Pushing me down on the table, I put my right hand flat on the desk and the left on the mirror infront of me for added support. Caressing smoothly my protruded behind, he pushed my legs apart and without a warning, plunges into me. I winced at the sudden intrusion, It is rough indeed with the absence of lubricating gel, the little lube from the condom helps a bit to ease in his shaft easily. He didn't even stretched me, but still it's a remarkable stunt on my part.

_I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak_   
_I lose all control and something takes over me_   
_In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase_   
_I want you to stay with me, by my side_   
_I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet_   
_It knocks me right off of my feet_   
_Can't explain why your loving makes me weak_

When he rears up and slams into me again the sting disappeared. He flexes his hips, his erection pushed against me with such intensity I can't contain my stiffled cries. He leaned forward, sucked my ear, the pleasure lanced through my body and runs directly to my groin..

He's holding my waist in place as his right hand grabs my shaft, massaging up and down..he slams torturously into me again and again, I whimper in his every move.

 **"Kana...my baby..so.sweet.shall.I.make.you.come.fast?."**  
He speaked the words one by one in rhythm with his ramming, fast, dominating me.

"M-Mew...yes please.."  
My hands begin to tremble as I feel the build up of tension from my legs to my thighs, and I almost fell if it wasn't for Mew's swift reflex catching me, and yet he didn't stop attacking me. I felt so helpless, writhing against him as he deliciously wanked me while striking that sweet gland inside continously.

_I get so weak_   
_Blood starts racing through my veins_   
_I get so weak_   
_Boy, it's something I can't explain_   
_I get so weak_   
_Something 'bout the way you do the things you do, it_   
_Knocks me right off of my feet (off my feet)_   
_I can't explain why your loving makes me weak_

I began to meet his every thrust, eager to reach that climax I am so hungry about, but then he slowed down his pace. He withdraws halfway, then insert fractionaly, and slams hard, making me jerk in agonizing pleasure. It is mind blowingly good.

 **"Kana..why do you hate me?"..**  
He asked all of a sudden while I'm having the best moment of my life swimming in cloud 9.

"I-I don't hate you Mew..please..ohh."  
I can't take the slow pace anymore..I want to come so bad.

 **"Then.. do you want me?"**  
He asked slamming hard on me.

_I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak_   
_I lose all control and something takes over me_   
_In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase_   
_I want you to stay with me, by my side_

I gasp and nodded, unable to speak as he rakes my hot dick faster.

 **"Say it.."**  
He teases me once more, hitting that sensitive gland in unison with the jerking on my front.

"I WANT YOU!..ohh..please..MMmew.."  
I speak louder than what I intended to, never caring about the surroundings anymore. I completely forgotten where we are, what I am doing, or even the reason of my existence. All I know is that this is what i want to quench the unsatiable need ripping through my body.

 **"Then have me, you will."**  
He replied hoarsely as he tighten his grip on my waist, pounding into me harder, faster..deeper.. and I'm all sensation everywhere, sweet sweet agony of pleasure swept into me, I'm building.. I'm lost in the moment of sublime peak, trying to absorb all the sensations, it's mind blowing, it's body blowing.. In this moment, I felt that he owns me, I am in his disposal, to do as he will. I want to stop him, I don't want to stop him.

_**I..want..ohh..no..no..no** _ _!_

This is too much..  
Tears began to form in the corner of my eye from the intensity of our lovemaking, I arched my back as I looked into his reflection on the mirror.. deep, dark hazel eyes that looked back at me with the same passion..I can't believe at the image of me that I am seeing, this wanton man is not me..

_I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet_   
_It knocks me right off of my feet_

The half opened shirt, unruly hair, teary eyed in heat..gaping mouth and heaving badly..

.It's not Gulf..It's Kanawut..Mew's Kana.. and the thought of being his, trips me towards the edge, biting my lip to prevent my self from screaming as my climax came..  
I detonate around him..again and again, my cum spilling into the condom. My orgasm so loud, ripping me apart, scorching through me like a wild fire, my body trembled, pulsing, shaking..

 **"That's it baby..feel me...uhhh.."**  
Mew growls as he reached his own release..he comes violently inside me, while I continue to quiver with aftershocks, It's sweet heaven..and hell at the same time..It's insanity gone wild.

Who would've thought that I, Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, a super model, and an introvert, would be doing crazy, wild, sex inside a dressing room, with my body guard?.

_I can't explain why your loving makes me weak..._

  
He held me tightly for a moment, inhaling my scent just below my ear. Then he eases gently out of me. Takes a couple of tissues from dispenser beside the make up kits, then takes off the condom from me. Wraps it in a tissue, and discarded to the trash bin. He does the same on his.

 **"Bend down.."**  
he instructed me as he cleanse my behind with wet wipes. Im exhausted from our little rendezvous, but in my surprise, I feel energized. My nerves are alive, my blood pulsing rapidly and I feel hot and warm.

After cleaning me, I let him put on my pants, buckled up my belt and he helps me sit on the couch nearby. He sits beside me, wrapping his arms around my body from the back.

 **"How are you feeling?"**  
His chin rests cozily on my shoulder and I melt from the touch of his body on me. Oh how safe I felt in his arms, so protected.

"Fine I guess.."  
I replied sleepily, closing my eyes for a moment. My head feels heavy as his heady woody scent envelops me. He smells of pine tree leaves fresh from the rain. So relaxing, calming my furrowed mind.

 **"Gather yourself, the photographer and phi Best is coming. We will talk later when we get home."**  
He mumbled in my ear, leaving a soft kiss on my shoulder before he stands up, brushed my hair a little and buttoned up my shirt then moves to stand by the door.

My eyes sprung open when I felt his absence on my zone.

"What are you-"  
My words were cut off by soft knocks on the door, which Mew opened at once. In came Phi Best and the head photographer of the shoot.

_How the fuck did he knew they were coming?_

I looked at him in amazement, but he just smiled and shrug his shoulders.

\---------------------------------------------------  
I slumped my self on the bed as I fell face-down on it. It is nearly sundown and the first day of getting back to work was exhausting. Thou I enjoyed it, being at home was really more appealing to me. I decided to just lie there non-moving for a couple of minutes. Taking my sweet time to reminisce the moments earlier at the photoshoot after the 'dressing room' incident. Heat flooded my face recollecting the scene of how I madly insinuate a copulation act with Mew.  
What in this world has taken over me to do such humiliating move?

He has been all smiles all through out the shoot, his eyes never leaving mine. I knew it, I can feel it thou I didn't see him through the bright lights of the strobes. I knew he was looking at me, and I looked back, not at the cameras, but to the direction of the pull I am feeling. His presence is tugging at my innersoul, my heightened senses knew where he is, what he is doing and how he is feeling. It's like some string of connection was formed inside that room, I can't point out exactly. Do we have an agreement? What are we going to talk about later? Is he going to ask me about my feelings?..Thinking I did a good job hiding my dilemma.

But what I am more concerned about is, does Mew feels the same way towards me? Does my existence affects him the way he does me?   
The last time I asked, he said he's not gay..so, does it mean that I am?  
And if ever I am....if I am...how will my parents react to this horrendous news?

So many questions left unanswered..  
and my head hurts from thinking a lot.

_urgghh....I'm going to be crazy at this point._

I stand up and blow a deep breath..when suddenly, a soft knock break the silence within the room.

**"Kana, it's me... Mew."**

Four words that held me captive on my bed. I can't seem to move, to stand up and open the door. I am so nervous, I think my heart will come out of my chest.

 **"I'm coming in."**  
He said when I didn't replied.

When he stepped inside the room, his eyes were the first to capture my gaze. The closer he gets, the more nervous I become..He became my focus, his sultry eyes, that sexy grin I want to wipe off his face..I was so engrossed inhaling his presence, that everything else on the background blurred out. Only him matters, and that slow pace he's taking towards me.

 **"Stop gaping at me like that, or else.."**  
He smiled mischievously, and I inhaled sharply.

"Or else what?"  
I asked bravely even thou my insides starts to quiver

 **"Let's talk..before I lose my mind again. Stop teasing me.geez.."**  
I can't believe he snapped at me.


	16. LOVE CUTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I am annoying at times, I piss you off. Say stupid things, then takes it back silently. I wish I had never met you. Then there would be no need to communicate with you, to know your deepest thoughts and fall in love with it. I miss you, and there's no better word to describe how painful it is to want you but must not.
> 
> -Gulf

  


**********************************************  
 **"I like you but, I don't see you in a romantic way Kana."**

That..didn't sound right..

He had said the words sternly. Without a trace of humor or remorse. His face as blank as a sheet of paper, I can't read him.

"M-Mew..I..."  
I can't find the right words to say. Fear, pain, confusion and dissapointment creeps up inside of me. What is he saying all of a sudden? Did I heard him right? Did I read him wrong? Have I been harboring false hopes all this time?

**"I admit, I was attracted with your beauty. I got smitten, curiousity had me fumbling down your pants. And Im sorry for doing those things to you. I am sorry for confusing you."**  
He spoke the words as if he is apologizing for something so petty like spilling a coffee over the table.

_Why do you have to sound so contrite?_

I looked at him bewildered, hardly believing everything that he has said. He just sit there beside me on the bed, his hands resting on both sides of his thighs, gripping at the bed sheet. I see the red flush of his skin beneath the open buttons of his white long sleeve shirt. His eyes were everywhere but not me, never on me. This is not true. He's playing some prank on me right?

"M-Mew, are you joking?..cause if you are, it's not funny at all."  
My voice hoarse, soft as a whisper. An unexplainable ache began to settle on my chest, I want to rub it to ease the pain but my hands were trembling.

**"Kana...I-I wish I am..but am not..At first, It amuses me to tease you and I feel honored serving you, attending to your needs..but I never thought that I-er..we-uhh..I never thought that things will come this far."**  
He's now looking at the floor, as if digging a hole there with his eyes..

_Why don't you look at me and tell me that you don't want me too?..why_?

Are those warm hugs, tender kisses, soothing words and hot love making, just a spur of the moment thing? Curiousity?

I want to slap him..punch him, kick his gut. I want to break his bones until he's slumped into the floor bruised and swollen. But I also want to hug him, coax him to tell me that he's lying..I want to kiss him until he forgets about the nonsense he's been uttering.

I closed my eyes at this contradicting thoughts. I inhaled sharply, my knuckles tighten on the sheets, almost white from the tension. My aching head feels like it's about to explode. I can't believe everything that I am hearing from him. I don't want to believe it. It didn't make sense, and I don't understand why it didn't make sense at all.

**"Kana.."**  
He called my name as I fell silent for a while. I can feel his gaze finally resting on me, and I gather my strength to hide all the pain inside before I looked back at him. His dark hazel brown eyes says he's worried, but his mouth says otherwise. The ache in my chest grew stronger.

**"I know it may sound absurd and conceited of me to think that you...er..like me in that way but this is me thinking ahead.. I don't want anything to come across our working relationship..Please understand."**  
It's a lie.I can feel it. But why would he lie? I'd better stop fooling myself.

He doesn't want me. He doesn't want anything to do with me. I totally screwed up liking someone who don't like me back, or atleast not on the same level as I am. How could I misread the situation? how could I not see that he is just toying with me all along?

In that instant, I decided to hide the truth. To rescue my wounded pride. To save myself from embarassment. I almost confess to him my feelings, dear lord. Im so glad I let him do the talking first. I'm so glad I didn't spill my heart out. I almost show him my weakest state..Thank god I didn't.

"It's okay Mew..the feeling is mutual..  
Don't think about it too much. I too were just carried away with the situation..you know, needs.  
Let's call it quits then, and move on..e-everything..let's forget it."  
I looked away as my voice starts to quiver. I tried everything in my will power to hold it in. The sting on the rim of my eye tells me it's about to flood tears, but I still hold it in.

**"Kana..I-I didn't mean to hurt you this way..It's my fault..It really is, please...please-.."**  
He sigh a deep breath..he can't seem to continue what he is about to say..

_Please don't cry over you? please forgive you? Please understand?. fuck you!!fuck understanding! because I don't understand any of this shit at all!._

I want to yell at him, I want to curse him over and over again, but I seem to loose all my strength. It felt like if I opened my mouth right now, my tears will fall. So I didn't.

**"Fuck.."**  
He cursed under his labored breath. He cursed as if he is the wounded one.

"Please leave. I'm tired, I want to rest."  
I managed to say despite the pain that is tearing my heart apart.

My self pity kicks in. My innerself is glaring at me. What would he want with you anyway? You're pathetic, introvert without any close friends. Your closest friend is online. You have minimal to none talents, your career is not something you gained from your hard work. You curse a lot. Your attitude is the worst. So what would someone like Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat wants with you?.

My eyes starts to water and I blink rapidly to control tears from coming out. No, I won't cry infront of him. I won't make myself anymore pathetic and embarrasing than this.

**"Kana...I.."**  
His voice with a hint of anguish demands my attention..so I painfully look at him. His brown eyes were bleak, torn, frustrated..as he runs his hand through his hair.

"What?"  
I snapped, my voice hoarser than before. I want to be alone, I want to cry so bad that I almost drag him and throw him out the door.

**"I-I should leave.."**  
He said standing up, gaze down at me for a couple of seconds before taking heavy steps towards the door.

I nearly grab his hand to ask him not to leave, I want him to but at the same time not wanting to be alone. I have so much more to say, words I haven't said yet. If he leave now, I'm afraid I cannot say it anymore..

"M-Mew.."  
I uttered softly, he stopped on his tracks, and slowly turn towards me. His face unreadable under the dim lights of the lampshades.

"Please lock the door."  
Thats all I managed to say before I turn and burried myself into the folds of my blanket, just in time as a silent tear dropping at my pillow.

I craddle my bolster tightly, gripping on it as I heard the opening and closing of the door. Only then I let out my suppressed emotions, unbidden river of tears flow from my eyes. Me, who seldom produce a tear, is now crying my heart out. I sink deeper into my pillow, seeking comfort in it's softness, in the stillness of the silence. I feel so alone, with no one to turn to. No one to hear my cries of pain, no one to listen. No one to talk to that will understand what I am going through. I feel so small, so fragile.

For the first time in my life, I liked someone, yes, I like Mew. Didn't have the slightest idea that liking someone and having it rejected would hurt so bad like this. This suffocating pain leaves me heaving as I cried. Yes I read his actions wrong. I thought he likes me too, from his gentle gaze, his caring demeanor, his tender touches to his loving words when we make-...when we had sex. Yes, that was just sex. Plain sex. To him, I am just a curiousity. Nothing special.

I am crying over the loss of something I never had. How ridiculous is this? Mourning over my shattered expectations. I want to go after him, to ask if all that was true..because I'm having a hard time, really hard time believing his words.

I was left broken. Shattered to pieces. Numbness crept from my chest, spreading to my whole body through my veins. My brain feels dead. My heart stopped beating for quite a while now. I never thought that words could hurt so bad like this, specially when it came from someone you trusted with your life. Someone who broke down my walls, penetrated my innersoul, but then rejected me. His words lingered on my mind, repeating, staying there.

I don't know how I slept through the pain, but I woke up not feeling well the next morning. My tears seem to have dried out already, but I don't want to get up from the bed. I don't want to eat, don't want to see anyone, even my worried mother. Playing games online seems to lose its appeal. It's a sheer luck that I don't have a schedule for the next few days, so I chose to stay in my room. Sulking.

The following days were spent either sleeping, watching movies or playing some mobile games. I feel empty, like a robot.Numb. My online friends, specially Mild were worried and wanted to come over to check on me but I refused. I don't want to talk about my issue with anyone, I wish to deal with it alone. I will move on from this and that arrogant jerk will see what it feels like to be hated by a Gulf Kanawut. Yes I hate him with all my might.

But my strong ressolve broke down the moment I saw him again. In the garden, when I looked out my window one morning. The sun feels nice on my skin, and I closed my eyes for a moment to feel the warm embrace of it, but my tranquility was disturbed by a series of laughter below. So I moved closer to the window to look down but saw two heads running. Ms. Hwang runs fast, she's wearing the same outfit as always when they do sparring sessions together with Mew, who is now running after her. He's wearing a white sleveless shirt and a black cotton shorts. When he get to grab her arm, he yanked her forward and she falls to the ground, Mew sits down beside her and they were both laughing. They look good together. Something stingy poked at my heart. I don't care. I must not care about them.

When all of a sudden, Ms. Hwang grabbed Mew's shoulder, pinned him to the ground and kissed him..she fucking kissed him?! I felt a hard jab on my chest, I can't breath..My knees became wobbly and I dropped to the floor. Tears started to pool again at the rim of my eye and I blinked irritably.

I can't go on like this. I must do something to end this pain. I stood up from the floor and headed for the door. My steps were determined. My destination is certain. I am ending this pain now.

_I hope I am doing the right thing._

\---------------------------------------------------  
BOYFRIENDS project Live PRESSCON

**"Hello everyone! welcome to the Boyfriends project Live Presscon!.."**  
The host welcomed the viewers, live and online with a very high spirit.  
He's very lively, and I am sitting at the edge of the white sofa together with my mates.   
Great  
Perth  
Ritz  
War  
Talay  
Kao  
Tommy  
Kacha  
Gavin  
and me.

These were the team that Gmm Grammy and MBO official created. I was surprised to be one of the chosen few because I barely danced, I'm tone deaf as well, but phi Best is determined to improve my horizon. So he enrolled me to a music studio where I must learn how to sing and dance before our album launch.

And today is when we were introduced to the public for them to anticipate our upcoming collaborations with each other.

The ambiance were so vibrant, everyone is giggly, happily chatting with each other, unlike me. I feel the exact opposite. I looked around and see the people behind the scene busily scurrying around, sign languages were exchanged as we are going live. I saw Ms. Hwang standing at one corner, her eyes were sweeping from side to side, never setting still. Beside her was Phi Best, who motioned a half curb along his lips, asking me to smile.

I looked back at the host who were currently interviewing Kao. I pretended to listen, even thou my mind were drifting somewhere else.   
If this event happened five months earlier, I might've turned down the offer to join this project. I was so reserved back then that sitting with a group of people like this might easily cause a panic attack.

But I am a changed man now, I'm not as self absorbed as before. I am more confident with my self now, with the acting and music classes I've been attending continously. Mew changed me. Pain changed me.

" **How about you Gulf?..would you mind giving us a glimpse of your singing prowess?"**  
I woke up from my deep thoughts when the host called up my name.

"Ugh excuse me?..sorry I didn't catch that."  
I smiled rather shyly.

**"Ohoi..seems like our best boy has someone in his mind..let me ask a blatant question..Are you seeing someone?"**  
I was taken aback by the sudden attack and I hesitantly looked at phi Best before answering. He shaked his head and I understood.

"Ahehe..no, I am not. It's just that I'm quite sleepy from dance lessons last night."  
I gently replied never taking the trained smile off my face.

**"Aow, so hard working na...so, can you show us a bit of your hardwork?..can you sing us a clip or anything?"**

Oh shit. I'm not prepared for this..  
I looked at War who is sitting beside me, my eyes were asking for help. I am so glad that he took the signal and save me.

**"I guess Gulf is a little shy, let's give him some encouragement.."**  
He said smiling that left my eyes widen with disbelief as he clapped his hands that were followed by everyone.

_How could you!_

But then he whispered something in my ear, and I nodded in understanding. I finally stand up as the music starts to beat in the air..

War started to sing a mellow song..

_Tur thii keuy ao jai chan geng_  
(You, who used to please me well)  


  
_Tur chai mai thii bok chan eng_  
(Aren't you the one that told me)

_Wa chan narak kwa krai_  
(That I'm more nice than anyone?)

And it reminds me so bad of Mew. How I missed him. I haven't seen him in two months, but my feelings were still un wavered. I think of him everynight, tears still roll down my cheeks each time. But I need to suppress this feelings for the better. I just have to accept the fact that we are not meant for each other.

_Tur mai rak meuan deum laew rho_  
(Don't you love me like you used to anymore?)  
 _Tur mai rak kon nii laew rho_  
(Don't you love me anymore?)  
 _Reu chan tham arai pid bpai_  
(Or what did I do wrong?)

Then I started to rap my part, that I wish he was listening to right now.

_Chan mai narak reu bplao_  
(Maybe I'm not being nice? )  
 _Tham tur khat jai reu bplao_  
(Maybe offended you?)  
 _Man bpen prao chan reu bplao_  
(Is it because of me?)  
 _Tha chan man ao dtae jai_  
(That I'm being too self-center)  
 _Tha tham hai tur noi jai_  
(That I make you feel hurt)  
 _Tha yak hai toe e pai dtong tham yang ngai bok dai reu bplao_  
(If I want you to forgive me, what I need to do? Please tell me how)

_You're my all, you're my world, I'm lost without you_

_You're the one and only Ruu wai na my boo_

_Tha tur yang rak kheyim hai noy, I'll make it better for you_  
(If you still love me, just give me a little smile I'll make it better for you)

When the chorus came, all of the boys started singing with us..and suddenly I am lost.. I am lost in the lyrics, I am lost in the song.

_Krai jab dtua faen phom bai ao keun maa na, keun maa na, oh_  
(Who kidnapped my lover? Please give him back, give him back, oh)

_Faen kon deum hai dtua mai ruu wa te yuu nai_  
(My same old lover disappeared, don't know where he is)

_Yak dai faen phom keun maa dii gan naa_  
(I want my lover back, please let's make up)

_Dii gan naa ja dai mai_  
(Let's make up, could you please)

_Kidteung tur kon deum ja dtai yuu laew_  
(Miss you, the same old you, so much)

_Miss you my baby..._

_Klabmaa te kon dii_  
(Please come back, my angel)

_Oh please forgive me_

Miss you my baby..

The last words sting like a bee on my chest. I miss him so much. Yet I knew I made the right decision.

\--------------------------------------------------  
I splashed some water on my face from the faucet, to somewhat ease the biting pain at the rim of my eyes. I run directly to the bathroom as soon as the live event ended, as I felt a drop roll down my cheeks. Luckily I was fast enough to hide it from the others but I bet Phi Best caught a glimpse of it.

What is wrong with me? my innerself glared at me annoyingly.

_F_ _or god's sake, you never had a relationship with the guy!_

I took a deep breath and looked at the reflection of me in the mirror. The dark circles below my eyes were expertly hidden with a make up that looks natural in the camera, but still transparent up close. This is the changed me, more confident, yet broken.

I tapped dry my face gently with a tissue, then proceeded going back to where phi Best and Ms. Hwang is, when all of a sudden, an unknown arm encircled my chest, pinning my arms, then a handkerchief was pressed down on my face. It smells terrible, and I started to feel dizzy instantly. Somethings terribly wrong, and panic strikes me at once. My knees gave way and I felt my body getting numb as a pair of arms caught me before I fall down completely to the floor. Before my eyes closed, I saw a black hooded figure hovering above me.

_No!_   
_Mew...help me.._

_*************************************_ **********


	17. CONFESSIONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True love is wanting the absolute best for someone. Even if what is best for them, is to not be in a relationship with you. True love wants them to soar, And not be weighed down by anything that doesn't fully serve them. True love is unselfish. True love serves the person being loved on every possible level.
> 
> -Mew

_*************************************_  
Ever since the day Kana snapped at me on the dining hall, I tried to distance myself from him as much as possible. Asking Ji-nie to attend to his needs instead of me. Even thou it hurts so much to not see him, to not be able to go near him, to not be able to touch him.

My impatience is slowly eating my resolve away. I understand the reason behind his actions, his embarrassment, and his reaction infront of his parents. I understand it all. And to be the one who understands, hurts like hell.

After that lunch, his father called for me and we talked in his private study. The talk with an outcome that I never expected.

 **"Mew, I won't beat around the bush, What happened back there?"**  
With all seriousness, he asked me.  
He sits on his swivel chair while I stand infront of him, my hands behind me.

"I don't understand what you mean uncle."

 **"I mean, why did Gulf reacted that way? Do you have an idea?"**  
He eyed me warily.

"I'm quite surprised too uncle. I don't know why did he do that."  
I will pretend I know nothing, hell may burn me first before I admit that I know why Kana is acting that way.

 **"Oh, don't give me that excuse please. I know that you do. Well let me be a little straightforward, do you like my son?"**  
I was stunned by his sudden question, I held my breath for a second. My heart beats rapidly, I don't know how to answer that.

"W-what do you mean sir?"

**"I mean like as in like. Do you see him more than just your employer?"**

"I like him as a person uncle. And I care for him like a younger brother."  
I lied bigtime.

**"Good.. that's better.. You know, when I told you that it is better for both of you to get comfortable with each other, you understand that it is for the sole purpose of the future merging of my company and your father's, right?"**

"Yes uncle, I know."

**"Mew, I know you're a good man. I don't want to judge you or anything, please remember that. I am not against LGBT's, but my son is a different matter. I am a father first before I am a patriot of the third sex.**   
**I want only for him to have nothing but the best. I hope you are getting what I want to convey."**

I've gone cold from what I have heard from him. Yes I do understand clearly what he is trying to say. He doesn't need any confirmation, don't need any proof's or evidence. It's just a plain silent threat that says, KEEP OFF MY SON.

"I understand uncle, please rest assured that I won't go beyond my duty. I know my place. I won't dissapoint you."  
I replied with a heavy heart, I know this is gonna be the end of me. But I also know where I stand in this agreement.

 **"I want to have a grandson or grand daughter soon, to continue our line of heritage in the business..I might have to arrange a marriage for him soon..and I am hoping for your cooperation."**  
He remarks gently. Eyeing me, watching my reaction.

I maintained a blank expression until I was dismissed.

Kana getting Married.  
what a ruthless word.  
It's like a heavy stone weighing down on my chest. Staying there.

I tried my very best to suppress my desire to knock in his room and apologize, I didn't do it. It is better this way. Things will be better this way. I'd rather keep my distance and still see him everyday, even from afar, than to be completely gone from his life for good. I don't think I can handle the pain. I know that uncle Alex isn't joking about the silent threat, and just the thought of it feels like an invisible hand squeezing at my lungs, I can barely breath.

Ji-nie has always been there for me through all of this. She knows me better than anyone else, even better than my own parents. I have known her way back when I was still a private at the camp. She's the one who taught me how to shoot perfectly. From jumping from the top of a 50 storey building, to target practices and even shooting moving objects. She taught me the secrets to mastering the martial arts of fighting. Be it armed, un armed, drunken, or even when sleeping. Name it, she got it. She's basically my mentor even thou she's younger than me by a year or two. I'm not quite sure, because as she said before, 'You never ask a lady her age.'

We were discharged to the same mission two years ago, that same mission that killed seven of my comrades. I were also almost get killed back then if it hadn't been for Ji-nie and Rocky, the closest friend I had. I remembered how we were sabotaged, as we pass through abandoned buildings to rescue a kidnapped british consulate.

We were welcomed unexpectedly by raining bullets and I remembered how Jin got shot on the leg, while Rocky were shot on the left shoulder. Upon seeing their situation, I lunged forward and took them, dragging to safety. The others were slaughtered, and I tried my best to save as much as I can, when suddenly I felt a hot sting made contact on my left thigh, I dropped on my knee and turned around. I saw something gleam on the building nearby, there's a sniper aiming at my direction. Rocky grabbed me and hug me tightly. Bullets were fired, and Rocky went limp in my arms.If it wasn't for Ji-nie, who shot the sniper using a Beretta 89 fs, which I believe is a short range gun, but she managed to kill the target anyway, I would've died right there.

I am so devastated by Rocky's death that after I get discharged from the army, we lost contact of each other.

That's why I basically owe her my life, and seeing her here at the same continent, at the same country and the same household..brings so much joy to me. It's like finding your long lost friend. I talked to her almost everything, I confided about my feelings towards Kana, and she understands me.

When Kana pulled me into the dressing room that day of the photo shoot, all my inhibitions flew into the air. With just one hard kiss from him, I lost my self control, yet again. This man is really my greatest weakness. I've been shot, almost get myself killed by a detonated bomb, but nothing compared to the fear I felt everytime I am with him like this. I fear that I might overdo things and hurt him. I fear that I will scare him away with my rough nature, even thou I tried my very best to be gentle.

But to my surprise, he didn't backdown, he even matched my thirst, gave back everything that I offered him. He was equally as parched as me. And at that moment, I forgot everything his father has asked of me. I forgot how I must stay clear of Kana, how I must not indulge him in more confusion like this. But I am lost, so lost in my own desire for this boy.  
I got lost the moment I looked in his eyes. My mind got lost in his dark, hot kisses. And I love being lost.

It was at this point that I have decided to go with what I wanted all this time, fuck his father's threat, fuck the rules..fuck everything. All I want is to be with him. And I made up my mind to confess to him about my feelings. I will tell him everything. My past, my secrets..I will show him my weakness..and my pains. How exciting it is to hold him in my arms and finally whisper I LOVE YOU in his ears.

I am sure he will reciprocate accordingly. I knew it, I can feel it that he likes me too. Just the thought of it gets my brain high with dopamine.

But before I even get to his room..I received a call. The call I have been waiting for ages, the call that blew up everything.

I was briskly walking down the hall of Traipi's mansion, making my way towards Kana's bedroom. I knew he was waiting for me. I knew he was anticipating my words of "We will talk later." When suddenly, my phone vibrated, I looked at it and saw Mooki's number. Mooki, a private investigator and also my friend. I asked him a favor almost three months ago, and maybe he has some answers now.

I instantly stopped on my tracks. Why do I fright what he is going to say all of a sudden?.

"Hello?..Mook, what's up?"  
I answered hesitantly.

 **[Hey Mew brother, I have the DNA test results from the samples that you gave me..]**  
He answered on the other end. My breath hitched as I heard about the DNA, I almost forgotten about it.

"Oh... well t-that's great..so..what was it."  
I held my breath as I waited for the answer.. and my world came tumbling down the moment he dropped the bomb..

**[It is 99.9% positive probability..He is your lost Brother.]**

_Shit!_   
_Fucking fuck!_

I should be happy about this news, finally I have found him..  
NATTARIN, my lost step brother..  
but why do I felt like my world had just ended?. I mean, I have a hunch. The reason I gave in to uncle's favor request to secure his son, is because I have a suspicion that Kana is Nattarin, but after all the stuff I have been through with him, I have already forgotten the reason why I am here. My sentiment is, after all this feelings that has blossomed between us..why now?

_Lulu, I found him...I finally found him.._   
_but why does it hurt so much?._

**[Mew..are you still there?]**  
Mooki's voice interrupted the flow of my thoughts.

"Uh,..yeah still here..I'll see you tommorrow Mook, I'll get the results personally."  
I heard my voice crack a bit so I  
I ended the call immediately. It feels like there's a lump in my throat. What am I gonna do now?

_He is Nattarin, my lost step brother, for fuck's sake!_

The decision to vanquish my feelings for him took place. I have to. I need to..  
\---------------------------------------------------  
When I entered the room, I saw Kana sitting by the bed, his hair shuffled.. His crumpled shirt was open halfway and showing his reddened chest.  
I almost lost my rein when our eyes met. His eyes twinkling, full of unrestrained emotions.

Smitten is an understatement.  
He looks at me like I am the most appetizing meal. I can see it in his enlarged pupils, I can see it thou the lights were dim. He likes me, and inspite of being gratified about it, I felt a wave of misery flooding my heart.

"I like you but, I don't see you in a romantic way Kana."  
I managed to let out these words full of lies. I want to punch myself so hard that I chose to grip the bedsheet tightly instead.

"I admit, I was attracted with your beauty. I got smitten, curiousity had me fumbling down your pants. And Im sorry for doing those things to you. I am sorry for confusing you."

_I am not sorry! god..._   
_I did everything because I want it very much to happen._   
_for fucks sake!.._   
_I would give everything in the world just to prove to you how Not-sorry I am._

But I do am sorry for hurting him now. God knows how much I despise this.

Every word that came out of my fucking mouth feels like micro blades that tears up my heart into shreds. My own words hurts damn much that I almost take it back. I don't want to look at him, cause I know if I do, all of this will be gone to waste. If I do, I won't be able to control my self and pull him into a tight hug. If I do look at him now, I won't stop until he's panting heavily underneath the sheets. So I never dare look at him.

 **"It's okay Mew..the feeling is mutual..**  
 **Don't think about it too much. I too were just carried away with the situation..you know, needs.**  
 **Let's call it quits then, and move on..e-everything..let's forget it."**  
I nearly grab him and squeeze into my arms when I heard his voice crack.  
I am hurting him. I am fucking hurting my baby! And I don't know how to ease the pain I am inflicting in him.

_Kana! I am so sorry baby, but I have to do this. It's for your own good._   
_I don't want to ruin your career, as well as your family's reputation._

_And there's the probability of us being real brothers in the future. I can't risk it all just to have my way. I am willing to sacrifice my self, my feelings, my happiness...for you to have a bright future baby._

I have to leave. I need to get away from him, so I excused my self..with a heavy heart, I left him, feeling like a total jerk.

I found myself sitting at the garden, in that moonless night after I broke Kana's heart into pieces.

Silent tears were rolling down my face like a waterfall. For the first time in two years, I am crying. I never cried since mother died. I was Just sitting there, motion less, looking at the dark shadows of the flower beds..when suddenly, a heavy hand laid on my shoulder.

 **"Mew..are you okay?"**  
It is Ji-nie.

"Jin...I wish I am, but I am not.."  
My voice rough and shaky.

**"Tell me what's the matter."**

"I hurt him.. I have hurt him so bad. I feed him lying words just to break his hopes of us being together. I lied saying I don't like him the way that he thought I do, He must have hated me now."

**"You love each other, only a blind person can unsee that fact. Why did you do that?"**

"You won't understand."

**"Try me."**

The next moments, I poured my heart out to her. I confided everything that is weighing me down while she stroked my back to atleast ease my pain.

"I don't know how to face him now. I'm afraid if I go as much as be near him, I would crumble down, beg him to forgive me and confess the truth."

 **"Mew, the situation is always beyond our control..and Sometimes, we hurt the deepest those people that we love the most. In this life, you cannot always win. What's more important is that you did the right thing, and there's no better consolation than to see him soaring high, reaching for his dreams..knowing that you contributed a big part of it."**  
This woman, she always say the words that I need to hear.

"Thank you so much for always being there for me Jin. You're the best."

 **"Anytime buddy..anytime."**  
\--------------------------------------------------  
It was a sunny morning when Jin urged me for a sparring. After two days of staying in my room, I felt rusty. So we did a short session that ended up me being tickled and Jin running for her dear life.

We sat on the grass laughing our heart out. I am laughing but the ache in my chest is still there. I hope that it will end soon.

"Why did you tickled me? you cheat. I almost beat you this time."  
I said panting. Jin is lying beside me.

 **"You looked like a snorting pig..that's why. And besides, what ever you do, you could never beat me."**  
She laughed so hard mocking me.

 **"Anyway Mew, what are you planning to do with the boy?"**  
She asked me out of nowhere and I don't know what to say.

"I-I don't know. Im still thinking about a lot of things. Maybe, leave him alone for a while and let him move on."  
I let out a sigh, I myself don't even know how to handle my own feelings.

**"Move on? huh, the hell are you saying? the boy is smitten! for god's sake. Are you a hundred percent certain you want to let him go? Someone might come after him you know. He's cute and everything."**

I know, he is nothing but a charmer..his cute demeanor always gets me on edge. But the circumstances right now is so unstable.

" **How about we do this?"**  
She clasps my shoulder abruptly, pinned me to the grass, then hovered above me. Her face inches from me and my eyes widen in shock.

"What are you doing?!"  
I whispered rather stifly.

 **"The boy is watching..might as well give him a show?"**  
She smiled tauntingly then pulled away from me laughing.

"Huh? what do you mean?what was that about?"  
Im so confused.

**"The two of you needs a little push.. One must take a step forward, or else you will drift apart. Man up dude.. he's waiting for you to make up your mind. Fix your issues and confess before someone else does."**

She said laughing goofily then walks away from me. I looked up at the direction of Kana's window, but I see nothing. Is Jin making fun of me?  
\--------------------------------------------------  
That same day, I got fired.  
Uncle Alex fired me, he said his son wants to.

My world crumbled down, again, shaken and broken. 

**"Mew, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but my son wished not to see you anymore. I won't ask anything..I know this too shall pass. And I am hoping that this won't affect our relationship, specially my relationship with your father."**  
Uncle have said without any remorse. He looked at me rather coldly.

"It's ok uncle. I understand. Thank you very much. I'll take my leave then."  
I felt like a lump has settled in my throat. I gripped my knuckles until it turns white.

My leave has been silent, I never had the courage to say goodbye to Kana. I just let Jin know of the situation.

"Jin, please take care of him. I entrust you with his safety."

**"Don't worry yourself too much..You know my caliber, I won't let anything happen to him. Where do you plan to go now?"**

"I'll just be around..Just out of sight."  
I said mysteriously, she smiled knowingly.

I left but never get away. Constantly asking Jin for updates.  
Everytime I missed Kana, I asked her to take photos of him while doing random things, like sleeping, gaming, yawning, smiling..anything that includes Kana on it. Then she will send me the pictures..and my day will be complete.

_This too shall pass my baby.._   
_wait for me till I get to the bottom of this puzzle._

I aim to solve what happened in the past. How did Nattarin ended up with Traipi's household, and why my father is unaware of any informations about this. Or is he really innocent?

_Lulu..please help me solve this the fastest way possible.._

\---------------------------------------------------  
BF Presscon

Everyone in the room is busy scurrying around, including me.  
I wear a black high collared jacket over a black turtle neck cotton sweatshirt. A black mask on my face and a black bonnet. I wore a pair of thick framed eye glasses to totally hide my face unsuspiciously.

Yes, I am in the set of the presscon, hidden among the crew. I landed a part time job as an assistant cameraman in the set. Thanks to my old connections in the industry, I filled in as they were short staffed.

Kana looked gloomy, unlike the others who is cheerful and full of excitement, he seemed occupied. From the moment he stepped into the room, my eyes never left his face, his eyes, his lips which I badly wanted to kiss.. I miss him so much. I miss his warmth against me.

_God, help me take control.._

As the live interview goes on, he appeared to be absent mindedly looking around. Looking for something, or someone.

_Does he feel my presence?_

Then his eyes fall on Jin and Phi Best. uh, he's nervous. I want to assure him, I want to let him know that I am here, but I cant.

When suddenly, the host called up his name, and asked him for a short performance. I sense his apprehension but obliged after the one who is sitting beside him, a fair skinned male idol, whispered something. He's rather cute with his height, his hair and his eyes were of the same color..blonde brown. My teeth automatically grinded upon their contact. He leaned rather closely.. and I don't like that at all.  
Not too fast shortie.

A soft melody played and the shortie started singing..uhh, he will sing along with Kana..maybe he sense too that my baby is nervous..

_Hmm, I changed my mind about you shortie..good job._

The song is catchy, and when Kana started singing, my jaw dropped. It felt like my heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds, my breathing get hitched. Is that really him, rapping? my baby can rap?! what damnation is this?.

In three months of me being constantly around him, and two months of stalking secretly, It never occured to me that he can sing, much more, he can rap, and he's good at it.

A gentle wave of pride washed over me. My baby is soo good. Then I realized the meaning of the lyrics....

**"You’re my all, you’re my world, I’m lost without you..**   
**You’re the one and only Ruu wai na my boo..**   
**Tha tur yang rak kheyim hai noy, I’ll make it better for you."**

_I too, am so lost without you baby..how I wish to hold you in my arms right now.._

**"Yak dai faen phom keun maa dii gan naa..**   
**dii gan naa ja dai mai**   
**Miss you, the same old you, so much.**   
**Miss you my baby**   
**Klabmaa te kon dii..**   
**oh please forgive me**   
**Ja tham dtua hai dii..**   
**Miss you my baby..."**

I can see the emotions pouring out of his eyes..And I almost stepped forward to him, if not for the uproaring applause that took place.

_You are my baby, then..now..and always, yai nong. I miss you too. I wish I could tell you._

A minute after, the interview ended and I saw Kana stand up instantly and walked out of the mini stage towards the direction of the restrooms. I followed him out on impulse, maybe because I used to do this before that's why. But I was stopped on my tracks when my mobile phone rang, it is Jin.

**[Mew, hold up..I see you..would you like to blow your cover up?.stay distant. Remember he doesn't want to see you. Yet.]**

"Yes... Im sorry I got carried away. I'll just stay here near the lavatory, just to make sure he's safe."

 **[Uh, so clingy..You're not even boyfriends yet.]**  
She laughed teasingly.

"Guilty as charged..happy?..now shut the fuck up."  
I ended the call abruptly without waiting for her reply and waited patiently near the restroom.

Five minutes has passed when I suddenly felt odd. It's been a while since Kana goes in, but he hasn't come out yet. Something isn't right. I get this feeling of perturbation and I've been itching to run into the lavatory any moment, but the thought of Kana seeing me is taking me on hold. I called Jin.

"Jin, something's wrong..I can feel it. Im coming in the comfort room now. Can you check at the back?..just in case."

**"What? what's happening? Hey buddy are you okay being seen?"**

"I don't fucking care anymore. He's been in there for a while now but he hasn't come out yet. Im worried. Im going in."  
I slowly walked towards the lavatory, my heart keeps beating rapidly from   
anxiousness.

 **"Okay, I'll go check at the back."**  
I didn't hang up, just let the call on.

When I get inside, it's eerily quiet. Too quiet that it feeds my apprehension madly. I checked the cubicles one by one, nothing. Kana is not here.. no one is.. but I haven't seen anyone come out of the single exit..unless..

My eyes flew into the open window of the Comfort room and the chair sitting below it.. It is five feet above the floor and wide enough for an adult to get through. My guts are boiling, praying, hoping that nothing bad has happened to Kana.

As i walk towards the window, I heard an inaudible shot outside the window. I'm certain it is a gunshot with a silencer on. I run, almost fumbling up the chair to look out the window.

My eyes widen in horror as I saw Jinie engaged in a hand to hand combat. Her shoulder is bleeding while his opponent, a big bulky man in a black cover all..a black mask and bonet on his head, is shaking his hands as if preparing to attack anytime. A nighthawk aac is thrown nearby.

"Jin! what is happening?!"  
I hurriedly get through the window and jumped to the ground outside.

 **"Go after the boy! he is being kidnapped! that way.."**  
She managed to point the direction while the opponent lunged forward.

"But should I help you with that first?"  
I asked flinching as she connected a flying kick into the mans chest.

 **"Do I look like I needed help? Go!"**  
She snapped at me as they continued to brawl.

"Okay..take care with that..don't go overboard."  
I said running towards the direction that she pointed.

 _God please..don't let anything bad happen to my baby_.

My adrenaline spiked up and nothing is on my mind right now but to find my step brother, Nattarin..my one and only Kana..my bii.

 _Please stay safe..._  
*************************************

A/N:

I hope this clears a lot of things up..  
🙈  
It's been a roller coaster journey of emotions..  
and Im fucked up..  
I miss MG so much..  
🥺

I pray for peace in thailand..and in my country too..  
may god bless us all..  
keep safe everyone.  
hugs..  
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

-phinutz


	18. COMPLICATIONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will get old, you will get old..But I will still look in your eyes the way I looked at them when we were young.   
> For it was not into my ear that you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
> 
> -MEW  
> *************************************

_Throwback to YEAR 2000._

_**"Mew my son, meet Lulu..and Nattarin, her son. From now on, they will be living with us."** _   
_My father had said one fine summer afternoon._

_I am nine years old, and I don't really understand what is happening, but Nattarin is a curious looking boy. He's a lot younger than me and stands just right up to my waist. His hair is dark chocolate in color, shiny and straight, cascading down his golden brown skinned face with round doe eyes I couldn't help myself starring at. His cute little nose and small pouty mouth, twisting relentlessly as boredom is evident in his face. I don't care what is happening, all I know is I gain a playmate._

_The lady who is called Lulu leans closer to me and touched my hair lightly. She has a Chocolate brown waist-length straight hair. She's fair skinned and a little skinny. Her round eyes mirror the little one's features and her chestnut shaped lips were curved in a sweet smile._   
_She gently caress my face and I get a whif of fresh daisies._

_Lulu is a fair and gentle lady. She takes care of me, as well as Nattarin who remains silent after a month of staying at our mansion. I heard that Dad and Lulu will get married soon, I heard it from the maids. I don't know what getting married means, but Lulu said that she and Nattarin will be staying with us for a long while._

_The idea makes me hyped with excitement. That means I will have a new mommy. My first mom has left, and she hasn't came back yet. That also means that Nattarin and I will have plenty of time to play with each other even thou he hardly speaks a word._   
_\---------------------------------------------------_   
_"Kid, wanna play catch?"_   
_I saw him slumped on the grass, holding a small red plastic ball._   
_He looks so lonely, so I approached and offered to play with._

_He just looked back at me and continued to stare at the ball._

_"You don't want to play with phi?"_

_**"P-phi?"** _   
_He eyed me innocently._

_"Yes, you may call me phi from now on..come on..don't be shy."_   
_I slumped beside him on the grass when I didn't get the response I want._

_"You can call me phi Mew..and I will call you Yai nong, because you're cute like a girl."_   
_I smiled sheepishly, earning another glance from him._

_**"W-what's a girl?"** _   
_he asked eyeing me curiously_

_"A girl is someone with long hair. Like your mom. and the maids."_   
_I explained in the most simple way I could._

_**"B-but, my hair is short..you..you have a long hair..are you a girl too?"** _   
_He asked pointing at my shoulder length golden brown hair. I don't remember when's the last time that I let anyone cut my hair. My mom used to do it for me, and since she left, I never let anyone touch my hair, and I never had the strong urge to cut it, not until now._

_"N-no..Im a boy..it's just that I want my hair long, that's why."_

_**"But you said girls have long hair..and you have a long hair..but you are not a girl..and you said I look like a girl, but my hair is short..phi is making me confuse."** _   
_He said softly bowing down and looking back at his ball._

_"Ugh, let's forget about the hair thing I guess..You wanna play catch now?"_   
_I tried dismissing the topic. He's quite a smartie for a three year old._

_**"But my hands are tiny.."** _   
_He said looking at his little hands_

_"It's okay, you can do it."_   
_Standing up, I offered him a hand and help him stand._

_That was the start of our happy memories. Nattarin has been stuck with me ever since. I taught him almost everything, from writing to reading and playing video games which he enjoyed a lot. We always played together, and that was the best summer days of my life._

_When the classes started and I had to go to school, Nattarin, will always wait for me at the doorsteps. I will find him sitting at the porch, sometimes with Lulu or sometimes alone. He never fail to wait and run to me every single day._

_One day, I came home to a thrilled Nattarin, it appears that he wrote the word 'KANA' on his arm using a permanent marker, and so frantic to show it to me._

_"What did you do!?"_   
_I asked, my eyes wide with shock as I rub his arm fiercely._

_**"Arthur said If I don't eat kale, I must write it on my arm using the black inked pen so that I will begin to like it."** _   
_He's smiling goofily as if what he had done is something funny, but I don't laugh at all._

_"Tss, such an Idio-..uhh, what ever..who is this Arthur anyway??"_   
_I dragged him towards the house to start cleaning the markings on him_ _. I just put my school bag down on the grass and left it there, someone will come and keep it for me anyway._

_**"He is the boy next door, we played earlier. Mama let him in and she talked with Artie's mother for a long time."** _

_"Listen, it's not safe to write permanent marker on your body, because it's hard to take it off. Look, it don't washes off easily."_   
_Showing him his arm while I briskly brushed it with soap._

_**"Aow, phi..it hurts..is phi angry at me?"** _   
_He asked softly, his eyes low and beginning to get teary that I stopped rubbing his arm._ _I sigh in surrender._ _This is my weakness.. The soft, teary eyed expression on his bread face._

_"I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you. I just don't want you staining your smooth skin. I don't wanna see any markings on you from now on..understand?"_   
_Explaining in a gentle way so that he wouldn't cry._

_**"Y-yes phi Mew..I understand."** _

_"I wanna punish you..From now on I will call you KANA, to always remind you not to do it again. okay?"_

_**"But phi..I don't like kales..I dont eat kale."** _

_"No buts..Does Kana understand?"_

_**"Okaaaay..Kana understands."** _   
_He replied pouting and it's so adorable to see that I started laughing loudly._

_"Stop pouting nah.. such a baby!"_

_**"But I am a baby! mama said I am her baby...am I your baby too phi ?"** _

_"Yes of course. That's why I want to protect you..you're my baby."_   
_I smiled at him fondly and engulf him into a tight hug that caused him to giggle._

_He suddenly hugged me back with his wet arms that I tried to push him away but he kissed me on my cheeks instead. It melts my heart instantly. I had become soft._

_**Kana..my Kana.. my baby**_  
 _\---------------------------------------------------_  
I woke up feeling a bit light headed.  
Slowly opened my eyes and the white ceiling welcomed my blurry vision.

_Where am I?_

"Finally, you're awake."  
I looked instantly to the voice that came to no other than my own father, who is standing a few feet away from my hospital bed. I stared at him in confusion, Mr. Traipi standing next to him and they seem to be talking about something so important.

"Dad? what happened? what are you doing here? where am I?"  
I asked in cofusion as I test my body for any injury, and found that my left leg is in a cast. The last thing I remembered was _....what was the last thing that I remember?_

\---------------------------------------------------  
Earlier...

I ran furiously, thinking about all the possibilities that could happen to Kana if I don't catch the culprit in time. He must be terrified by now, he must have called for me many times..the thought causes a tight grip at my chest. I really am so useless. What have I been doing all this time?  
I want to curse and slap my self.

I passed the fire exit, through a narrow pathway between the two buildings, adjacent to the parking area. When I stepped out to the parking lot, I scanned the whole area for Kana, and there, I saw a black hooded figure carrying the unconcious man. He was swung in the culprits shoulder like a sack of rice and that makes my blood boil. Haw dare you carry my baby like that?!

I run as fast as I could, my target locked, jumping on top of the parked cars, on a motorcycle, atop the hood of a blue Sedan...just to get to him lightning fast.

The audacity of this burglar to steal my man before my eyes?!

_Wait, he's not my man..yet.._   
_but hell! I will make you pay.. big time!_

I was a few feet near him when suddenly a group of five men, all in black appeared out of nowhere.

_Now we're talking.._

Of course, they came at me all at once, and I fought them with everything I got. Kana's life is at stake and there's no fuckin' way I'll gonna lose. The way that man carrying Kana, puts him harshly inside a white van tips me to the edge of my forbearance. He dropped him on the hard looking seats like a hot potato, and I saw Kana's head bounce in the impact. He mishandled my baby!

_You're a fucking dead meat man!_

My urge to kill empowered my fists, kicks and every turn, one by one they fall to the ground. My blood boiling, my every nerve screams death to those who come against me claiming back what is mine.

When all but one were squirming into the aspalt, I stepped towards the van. it's the fucker's turn to die by my bear hands, when suddenly a shot takes off. I looked behind me and saw one of the fallen hoodlums was holding a caliber .38 hand gun, pointing at Kana's direction. My mind went blank, my body trembled and moved on it's own accord. Before I knew it, I was jumping towards his unconcious figure when another shot was heard.

I fell on my knee as I saw the oozing blood out of my left leg. I took out the Nighthawk Aac that I picked earlier from the back of my waist band and without a blink, shot the guy down. The siren of a police mobile was heard nearing towards us when suddenly something hard hits the back of my head, And everything went black.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
Bumrungrad International Hospital -Present time.

"Dad, uncle, what happened?where's K-.."  
I asked dad and uncle Alex impatiently when suddenly, the door of my room bursts open.

_What the?! Can't I atleast finish my words first?_

My breath were caught up in my lungs, because standing there with widened eyes, pale faced and full of dread is Kana. He looked at me with a mixture of anxiety, pain, hate, concern and a bit of excitement.?  
I drank in his appearance. His messy hair that I longed to touch, his emotional eyes, that pale yet still pouting lips I longed to taste..

_God, I miss him so much.._

**"Mew?! what the hell??"**  
He barks.. and yeah, I'm definitely dead.

***********************************


	19. FEELINGS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want a Love so powerful it can drag me to hell or  
> take me back to earth..  
> That kind of love that can kill me and bring me back to life at the same time.  
> I want that kind of love.
> 
> -Gulf

***********************************  
 _It's a tranquil afternoon in a park I hardly recognize._

_Soft breeze fanning my face as I run into the grassy grounds, my straight hair bouncing up and down my head and the afternoon sunlight feels good upon my skin. I am running after the bouncing red ball, straining my tiny legs to go and catch it before anyone else does, thou no one here is going after it except me._

_**"Kana! be careful! you might trip and hurt yourself, you clumsy dwarfie!."** _

_I stopped on my tracks instantly after hearing the teasing tone, forgetting about the ball I turned to look behind me towards the boy who dared speak such mean words at me._

_"But phi..Gulf is not a dwarfie. Im a big boy now."_

_**"And who said so? Look at how tiny you are. Just like a dwarf."** _

_"My mom said I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."_

_"No, you are Dwarfie..Gulfie dwarfie. little Kana is a dwarfie."_   
_After teasing me, the boy who is taller than me runs away, Laughing like a meanie clown. I get pissed so hard that I ran after him instead, planning to poke his eyes with the lollipop candy gripped tightly in my hands._

_"If I catch you I'll poke your eyes.. Phi.. Phi Mmeeewww!"_   
_\------------------------------------------------_

I jolted as I felt myself wake before I even opened my eyes. That's weird, what is little Mew doing inside my dream? Maybe, I miss him so much I began to unconciously wander into the crazy realm.

I woke up feeling still a bit drowsy.  
I looked around the white painted room, instantly forgetting about the weird dream. Afternoon sunlight coming thru the blinds of the glass panelled windows, I wonder what time is it. I found Ms. Hwang sitting in the corner couch, her arm casted and bondaged in a sling. She did might've saved me today from that hooded man in the restroom, but why does her arm have to be casted?

_I wonder if she's badly hurt because of me._

She's sleeping in a sitting position, her body slouched and it looks painful to me.

I realized that I am in a hospital bed from the smell of disinfectant in the air. I hate this smell, it's suffocating.  
I tried to move my hand slowly, my legs and my entire body to check if I'm okay, and found out I'm fine.

But why am I in the hospital bed? and why Ms. Hwang who obviously needed it isn't in it?.I sigh a deep breath and sit up, slowly getting off the bed, I walked over to the sleeping woman and tapped her leg.

"Ms. Hwang.."  
She instantly opens her eyes and looked around.

"You should sleep on the bed. What happened?"

**"Gulf..N-no..I'm fine here..How are you feeling?."**

"How can you ask me, when obviously, you are the one needing it so badly? I insist you sleep on the bed..I am fine. What happened to your arm?"  
The last time I saw her, her arm was fine.

**"I..a-a bullet grazed my shoulder while saving you from the kidnappers."**

"Kidnappers? Ow, I remember someone jumping on me. Are you really okay? That looks painful."  
I cringe looking at her sling.

**"Yes I'm fine, no sweat. Your safety is my priority."**

"Thank you so much for saving me Ms. Hwang. I'll ask my dad to give you a raise."  
Warmth touched my cold heart. thou I am a bit awkward towards her, I can't thank her enough for saving me today.

**"Oh please, that's not necessary, Im only doing my job."**

"What do you want in return then?..tell me, I might have a way to grant it."

**"Hmm, now that you mention it, I would request for you to stop calling me Ms. Hwang, sounds so formal. I prefer Ji-nie, Can you?"**

"That's all?so lame..but okay, granted. Anyway, does my parents know I am here? where are they? "  
The thoughts of earlier event came flooding my memory, and it brings shivers down my spine.

Me being drugged like that might have been a very well thought out plan. What could someone possibly wants with me? Are they after my money?.my parents money.

 **"Er yes, your mom is talking with your attending physician, and your dad is in the next room checking up on Mew-"**  
She stopped talking right away when she realized what she was saying.   
My eyebrows wrinkled upon hearing those words. My heart skipped, and my breath hitched.

"Did I heard it right? Mew is here? W-why?"  
She falls silent and bowed her head, cursing under her breath.

"Ji-nie, answer me! Is Mew here?"  
I can't help the feeling of agitation that's eating me up.

_What the actual fuck is happening?_

**"Y-yes, he's next door."**

I bolted out the door in a second, never minding if she came after me or not..My legs seem to move on their own..my heart is beating painfully inside my chest, and my palms get sweaty. There is only one sentence that kept repeating on my head.

_Mew is here..fucking Mew is here!_   
_That bastard._

I opened the door to the next room with so much force it nearly broke down.  
I saw the two individuals standing near the bed, my father, and an older man with silver hairs showing at his temple that looks exactly like Mew, but what I seem to focus on is the one lying down on the bed.

The bastard.

I stormed into the room without hesitation, my target locked on the one with a bondage on his left leg..

_a what??!_

I stopped in between my father and the older man.  
My feet seem to lost it's reason for stomping heavily into the quiet room, my chest tight with apprehension.

_Mew!.where have you been? Are you okay.? What are you doing in this hospital?..I missed you..A lot.._

I want to ask him so many questions that came bombarding my mind the instant my eyes landed on his fucking gorgeous face. I want to tell him how much I miss his asshole smugness. But the memory of his painful rejection sits unmoving in my chest. I thought I have moved on from the pain, but the truth is, it never left.

I roamed my eyes in his pale cheeks, his eyes that I missed staring at so damn much, and the way he looked back at me as if I am the most beautiful man that has ever walked the earth..The curve of his nose, his narrow lips with stubbles on the sides. His adam's apple that dances up and down.. Why was everything about him so arousing?

Then my eyes fall into his exposed chest through the half opened front of his hospital gown. I gulped a couple of times as my gaze were fixed on his bulky muscled chest. Right there and then, I would've given everything in my bank account just to touch that, if it were not for the scandalous screaming of my innerself.

_Get a hold of yourself idiot! He rejected you remember? He don't want anything to do with you._

My heart started to beat frantically, just by looking at him. His effect on my system whenever I am in his presence never seize to amaze me.  
I felt all my blood rushed downwards, I crave his touch on my body, and I felt my groin harden.  
How could he turn me into a sex deprived manwhore in an instant? In the presence of my own father, for christ sake!

 **"Gulf, you are awake. How are you feeling?"**  
My father broke my line of thoughts with the obvious question.

"Phor, I am fine. umm.W-What are we doing here?"  
Glancing at my Father, he looked ashen, stressed. Soft stubbles lined at the base of his jaws.

 **"Earlier, you were kidnapped by unknown men, and thanks to Mew, who happens to be in the area, you were saved..We already reported the incident to the authority, and they are now on the hunt for the culprits. Do you remember anything? Have you seen their faces?"**  
Phor's voice were a little shaky, I've never seen him this emotional before.  
He held me by my shoulder in a tight grip, and I can feel his tension. My left eye brow lifts up upon hearing the answer to my silent question.

_So, you happen to be in the area huh?_

"Phor, I..I'm sorry I make you worried about me, but no, I didn't get to see th- wait..THEM? I remembered only one. A black hooded man."  
Surprised, my eyes widened and unpleasant thoughts runs wild into my brain.

" **Yes, according to the police there were 7 of them, they caught two and the rest got away. And No, my son, Worrying about you is my job as your father. I will see to it that this won't happen again. Or else, your mother might really divorce me this time."**  
He snorted a dry laugh, thou I know that he really has been worried sick about me.

 **"By the way, this is Mr. Jongcheveevat, Mew's father."**  
I glance at the older man and gave a wai in respect. Even thou I have a hunch, that he is Mew's relative, knowing that he is the father makes me more ruffled.

"Nice to meet you sir. How are you?"  
My voice small and a bit awkward.

" **I've seen you on Tv, you're much more pleasing in person thou. You really did a good job as a father Alex."**  
Mr. Jongcheveevat said to my father, tapping his shoulders, while my eyes darted back to Mew who is looking at me fiercely. His eyes glassy, filled with desire, emotions swimming into his darken orbs.

_Why do I felt like you want me too, really bad..but still you're holding back? hiding behind a stupid lame excuses..why Mew?_

He kept silent, unable to find his voice.

I really want to caress his face right now, to ease that worried expression off his face, but I held my place. Three feet away from his bed. My inner self have no plans of letting me get closer, not a chance.

When suddenly, my mother came rushing through the open door. Jinie behind her, and Dr. Karla.

 **"Gulf! my darling..how are you? Why are you here and not in your room? I nearly collapsed when Bester called me!.my god honey, why do you always make mama worried?"**  
She embraced me into a very tight hug and I hugged back in return, feeling guilty over my inept.

"Im so sorry mae, don't worry about me too much. I'm a big boy now. Besides, I'm safe. and that's all that matters, isn't it?"  
Coaxing her would be very difficult, I know.

 **"Oh my, you really are a bunch. Let's go to your room, I fetched Dr. Karla to check on you. Dad, Mr. Jongcheveevat, we'll go for now, please look after Mew for me-- Oh..Mew are you okay now?"**  
As if she noticed just now, that Mew is all awake, sitting and gawking at us.

 **"I'm fine ma'am thank you so much."**  
Came his deep husky voice, I inhaled sharply. The memory of that same voice whispering sweet nothings to my ear sends shivers after shivers of nostalgia. I don't think I can survive another minute, inhaling the same air that he breathes, in the confinement of this room. I need to get away now.

"We should go mae. I want to rest."  
I bowed slightly towards the two standing men and Without taking her hands off me, she guided me slowly towards the door as my eyes left Mew one last look.

_Later Assbleephole.. I shall get my answers later._ _That's a promise._

\--------------------------------------------------  
 **"Open your eyes wide Gulf, look up..down..sideways..okay."**  
Dr. Karla instructed me as she checked my eyes. She's been checking my vitals for quite a while now and I admit I'm not paying too much attention. Just answering what ever questions she asks, and doing what ever she wants.

Ms. Lhyn is also here, sitting on the nearby couch with mae. I guess she came with mom from a taping, judging from the make up kits that sits beside her feet. She smiled at me and I managed a shy wave as a reply. I haven't seen her for a while since we get back to Thailand, and I make a mental note to send her a thank you gift for the hospitality.

Ms. Hwang is now sleeping on the bed opposite mine. I requested for another extra bed for her as she stubbornly declined the offer to rest on a different room, saying she's fine and she must protect me at all times. Mew is right about her being overly loyal and attentive. Despite the fact that they might have something romantic going on between them that is quite unsettling, I can't deny that I felt safer with her around. The woman needs rest but denies herself even the comfort of a private room. What a total weirdo, I can't even hate her.

 **"Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?"**  
Dr. Karla's words brought me back in attention.

"No doctor, I'm feeling totally fine."  
I said softly.

**"Now, how do you feel? your emotions I mean? You feel any traces of panic? how about fear or anxiety around other people?"**

"Uhmm, quite a bit. I'm fine with a couple of individuals around, but everytime I thought about what could have happened to me, I start to feel the tingles in my fingertips."  
I slightly shudder at the statement, she took my right hand and gently massaged it, applying pressure to the webbing between my thumb and index finger that instantly calms my nerves. This is soothing.

 **"Whenever you feel that tingles, do this, and take a slow, steady deep breaths for a minute or two. This might help to distract you from your thoughts. For now, I suggest you stay here for a while and I'll come back in two days to check if it is safe for you to go back to work."**  
She touched my shoulders gently then guides me to lay back down on the bed, adjusting the pillow behind my head.

 **"Take a rest, no gaming for two days. Mobile games are ban. If you don't have anymore concerns, I'll take my leave then. Call me if anything comes to your mind, okay?"**  
She smiles tenderly at me, putting her stethoscope inside her bag as I smile back timidly nodding my head.

\---------------------------------------------------  
The night came and my perturbation gets the best out of me. I can't seem to settle in my bed and restlessness is now my best friend. Mae and phor left for home earlier, leaving me with a private nurse to attend to my needs, and two police security officers stationed outside my door.

Jinie having no trouble sleeping at all, have been asleep since two pm, and if I haven't known better that she's been exhausted and needed the rest so much, I might get worried for her.

It's ten pm already and the stillness of the room makes my mind wander into the man next door. I really want to see him, to talk to him..to ask these un answered questions. To embrace him, feel him. Kiss him.

 _What the hell?!_  
I should feel angry towards him, not the other way around.  
I want to think nothing of it. I tried hard but, I really cant sleep. Not with the knowledge of Mew resting on the other side of this white walled room. He is here, finally, after two months of disappearance. All I wanted to do was to pull him into my arms, accept all possible explanations he might give me, and forget about the pain he have left me with.

I came to the realization that even if he don't love me back, I will accept it. I'm a man, I am designed to woo a lover, and so I will. I'll make him fall in love with me. I don't know when I decided upon this, but thinking about it and weighing my indignation against my longingness towards the man, I knew that I have lost it.

I let out a deep sigh of frustration..How I wish it was that easy.

I was in a deep thought when suddenly, I heard a loud bang coming from the next room. It sounded like a glass jar dropping into the floor, shattering into tiny pieces. My awareness snapped in attention, looking at Ji-nie soundly sleeping, I get off of the bed then headed for the door. My every steps accurate, brisk and impulsive. Only one person is in my mind.

_Mew._   
_He is alone, and his leg is casted._   
_He might need me._

Fuck with hesitations. Fuck the pain. Fuck it all.

Nervousness swam all over me as I make my way towards the room next door, shoving thru the two police officers who blocked me halfway thru. I just stared at them blankly, raising a brow, then they allow me to pass.

A white shattered flower vase on the floor is what greeted me upon entering Mew's yellow walled room. He was also on the floor beside the scattered medium sized sun flowers, gripping his leg in pain.

"What happened?!"

He looked up at me, bewilderment instantly clouding his eyes as I make my way towards him.

**"Kana.."**

"What in the world of brainless stupidity are you doing on the floor?"  
I spat squatting infront of his sprawled figure.

**"W-what are you doing here?"**

"In case you have forgotten, I'm in the next room. I heard the crashing sound and came to check out if you're already dead or what."

He smiled annoyingly.

**"Oh..you're worried about me?"**

I gritted my teeth and cursed silently.  
I grab his arm, putting it around my shoulders then jerk up to help him stand up.

"Worried my foot! I'm just so excited to find your dead body!"

He hold on to me as he sit back on the bed.

 **"Aow, no need to go verbal about it. I can clearly see how you managed to get here faster than the nurses. So, thank you for thinking about my safety."**  
He looked up at me, his eyes dancing in amusement and I felt my blood crept up my face and ears. Im rendered speechless. I know I am blushing so hard right now so I retorted with more cursing.

"Fuck you! Stop playing with me."

**"Yeah, fuck me."**

"Yes!..Wa-wait what?"

 **"Come on..fuck me..I miss you so much baby.."**  
His eyes hooded with tiny specs of lust.

_Huh?_

Again I am speechless, don't know what to reply, or how to answer that. I can't seem to find the right words.  
Gawking at him like a total wierdo, he reached out to hold both of my hands and gently squeeze it.

 **"Im kidding, actually I want to talk to you since earlier this morning. But the doctors, my dad and your parents kept me busy. Just now, I plan to have a visit to your room but when I stand up, I forgot that I have injured my leg and the sudden pain gets me stumbling down. I tried to grab into the bed but I tipped the vase instead, that's what happened."**  
He explained still looking up at me. Hazel brown orbs meeting my gaze. His face warm and glowing despite the obvious stubles and dark circles around his eyes that seem to irk the hell out of my thoughts.

I wanted to reach for his face, caress it, feel his skin against my palm. But I denied myself the pleasure of touching him. If I touched him right now, I might succumb to my unwelcomed feelings again.I might get rejected. Again.

_I don't see you in a romantic way.._

The words haunted me, and it resonates through my veins, reflecting in my eyes. Or worse, he might accept it, and take advantage of my feelings, to use me for his selfish benefits. How am I going to deny him of something that my body also yearns for? I am disgusted with myself for feeling this way.

I must not be swayed. I must not.

I was about to open my mouth and start a cursing spree, when Mew started talking instead.

 **"I don't know where to begin, but first, let me tell you how much I've missed you."**  
His arms encircled my waist and wraps me in a very tight hug it almost break my bones. I can feel his warmth against my body as I stand rigidly between his open legs. His wildly beating heart thumping heavily against my chest. I felt his hand gently caressed my nape to the hollow of my back.

" **I missed you so much Kana, it almost drove me insane."**  
The tremor in his voice gets past my walls of denial. I can feel his emotions rushing like waves of the ocean. And Im drowning in my own inclination.

**"I missed your voice, I missed your scent, I missed even your cold cursing mouth. I would be lost for words if I tell you in details everything that I've missed about you, so let me just tell you that I missed feeling alive, coz to me you are..my life."**

I felt a shiver passed down my body, and I know for an instant that the psychopath in my brain has been activated..I swear to god I want to strangle his smooth neck.

_You are so fucking dead meat_ _Mew!_

"How dare you!"  
I jerked him away from me, pushing his broad shoulders.

"How dare you say you missed me?! After all the things you've said? After leaving without even saying goodbye? How dare you?!"  
The anger that has been buried deep within me surfaced like a raging fire.

 **"But you fired me, right? how am I suppose to say goodbye to you, knowing you never wanna see me again."**  
His eyes falls down into his lap. I fight the urge to go back into his arms and hold him.

"But..but you..you hurt me."  
I barely whispered my reply. Feeling lost and confused, I stepped forward and sat beside him on the bed. My fingers fidgeting over my lap, our bodies a few inches apart. I am agitated at the moment, but I don't want to keep a wide distance between us.

He looked at me, bringing his left hand towards my forehead and started playing with the tangles in my hair. He sighed so deep I can hear his lungs humming.

 **"Im sorry for saying stupid things. I know.. I've hurt you..But I have my reasons. One day, you will understand. Just trust me with this..hmm?"**  
His voice so soft like a sweet caress into my crazily beating heart.  
My mind is so confused right now. What are we talking about? are we even talking about the same things?

**"Im sorry I said about being curious and using you just to have fun or something like that. It's a lie. I never lied so hard like that time in my whole life. I know I said I don't like you in a romantic way even thou we both know I can't keep my hands off of you. Im sorry. It's true thou that I am smitten by your beauty, inside and out."**

"W-what are you saying?"

 **"Kana, I-"**  
His words get stopped by the sudden knock on the door, then a nurse in blue paired suit came in.

"Good evening sir, sorry for disturbance, but someone reported about a loud noise..ow..are you okay? what happened?"  
Her eyes widens upon seeing the broken vase and flowers on the floor.

"Hi, uhm.we're fine, I accidentally dropped the vase, could you send someone to clean the mess please?"  
Mew answered her while his arm encirled my waist, pulling me closer, and tingles run across my spine.

The nurse peeked outside and called someone, then came in a guy in white shirt holding a broom and a dust pan with a trolley. They left together hurriedly after cleaning the floor and bowed courteously, with us sitting there quietly.

 **"So, where are we?"**  
Mew said looking back at me the same moment the door shuts close.

"I don't remember."  
I murmured looking at him. Multiple emotions flowing out of my eyes. Confusion, exasperation, love and surrender.

 **"Kana, as much as I wanted to talk, can I make a request first instead?"**  
His eyes were glued on my lips, and heat came rushing through my blood.

"Huh?"

 **"Can we talk later? for now, I want to taste you so bad.."**  
His face inches from me, came burrowing into the hollow of my neck, inhaling me.  
He scooped me closer into his chest, tenderly. Oh how I missed being hugged by him, surrounded by his masculine scent. Strong muscled arms linked arround my waist, that gives me the feeling of security, safety and being treasured. My mind heady with sensation, and overflowing emotions. This hug is mine. Only mine. Should be mine. I'll make sure of that.

Without a word, I break free from the warmth of his embrace, then pushed him towards the bed, straddling him between my legs. He falls back half lying on the bed.

"I hate you. You make it seem so easy for you."

**"What do you mean baby?"**

"I applaud you okay.. you are good at putting me off, but I want an honest answer for once. Do you like me?Romantically, I mean."  
I stared at him, impatiently waiting for his reply. My thundering heart seems to burst out of my ribcage any moment now. Im scared. Scared that I might lose my sanity if he rejects me again. I might not able to take a second blow, it will be the death of me.

**"I don't.."**

_Oh God.._

**"I mean, I don't just like you.. I love you Kana, my baby..I love you..I loved you for the longest time possible..please forgive me for denying it the first time.."**  
He answered breathily and that's more than I can take.

_He love me. Mew loves me._   
_Is this true? Am I dreaming?_

He grabbed my waist and pulled me back to him, our foreheads touching and I closed my eyes to stop the tears that threatens to fall. I begin to choke on my breathing.

Entwining my arms around his neck, I get a hold of his soft curls, tugging gently as my lips found his in the quickest way possible, darting my tongue inside his soft mouth. I kissed him hungrily, never holding back. The need to possess him vanquished all my insecurities. God, I missed this taste. The taste of mint and chocolates.

He kissed me back with such intensity my skin buzzed in reply. His big hands enclosing my head, holding me in place as he sucked the life out of me. The sounds of our lips moving filled the quiet room. It felt so right. So good.

We kissed as if there's no tommorrow.  
As if our lives depended on it. And stopping is not an option. Even if someone enters the room, I won't be able to stop. I can't stop. I am so deep into the kiss, I didn't notice when did he moved to get us into the middle of the bed and a thin curtain drapes at the side, enclosing us from the world to see.

Eventually, it felt like kissing wasn't enough..

I stopped kissing him and looked straight into his passion clouded eyes. My lips are swollen, but I liked it. I liked the feeling of swell on any part of my body.

 **"I missed you too."**  
I said shamelessly. The feeling of need to let it out of my chest is unbearable, so I laid my cards before him. To be in his disposal. It doesn't matter anymore.

I heard his rugged intake of breath and his grip on my waist tightens.

 **"Kneel infront of me Kana.."**  
He said softly, so soft I could barely hear him, but do it anyway.

He sits on the bed while I kneel stiffly infront of him. This picture doesn't seem right. When he starts to pull down my boxers beneath the hospital gown, My knees trembled in anticipation and my hardened cock sprungs in attention as he pulls up my gown. He get a hold of me, then inhaled my familiar scent, closing his eyes while doing so.

_That was so fuckin sexy!_

"M-Mew..ahh.."  
As if he heard my mental cry of excitement, He began to massage my dick while his fingers found their way into my puckering hole.

"Yes baby? so needy..as always.."  
He chuckled and I sink my teeth into my lower lip to stiffle a moan.

He sank my shaft into his mouth, gently grazing his teeth along my sensitive part and I get washed up by the sudden waves after wave of pleasure rushing through every vein, every drop of blood in my body.

Mew fucked me with his mouth pretty good until I begin to tremble in rapture. My body arched into his, I tried to rock my hips forward but he held me firm.

 _No, I want more.._  
I tugged at his curls, and let myself out of his sinfully skillfull mouth. I straddled him on the bed, eager to feel that friction I longed for a long time. I want him inside me, now.

 **"Let me.."**  
He said breathily, holding my waist in place. Taking 2 sachets of condoms from the drawer beside the hospital bed, then another sachet containing easy use lubricating gel.

"Even on the fucking hospital? really?"  
My eyes widen, astounded by how daring that is.

 **"What? with you, I must always be prepared, I don't wanna** hurt you."

"Ugh, what ever."

 **"Hold on to the headboard."**  
I did just like what he said as he position himself at my entrance.

**"Just to remind you, you can't stop me."**

Then I felt the sudden attack. He thrusts into me deep, hard, wild. And I can't do anything but to hold on for my dear life as he plunged into me, making my head swim in ecstasy. My world is spinning, I cant comprehend with all the sensations that is assaulting my body. He kept hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves inside me, making me jolt each time.

"Ah..just to remind you too, I dont have any plans of stopping you..ahh.."  
I can't stiffle my moans any longer. The heck if anyone barges in and caught us in this shameful act, I don't give a damn.

 **"Shit baby, you're so damn tight..I miss this so much...I miss you so much..ah!"**  
Mew whispered against my neck, as he continued to ram me deliriously.

I pound on him back, meeting his every thrust, I sank my self deeper..wilder..The tip of his cock hitting me on the right places.

This is so fucking good!

"M-Mew..ahh..Im...Im about to come!...fuck.."  
A low growl vibrated through his chest..

 **"Yes baby..me too..ahh..give it to me hunn...ah..give it to me.."**  
His grip on my shoulder tight, as his other arm was fixed around my waist, supporting my weight.

"Ahhhh!..fuck fuck fuck!.."  
I screamed as I came shuddering, a trembling mess..again and again..

 **"Shiiit!!..baby...I'm coming too!..aah!."**  
He gripped my waist tight, digging his nails on it. Then I felt the hot liquid filling up my bottom. So hot, I looked at his face distorted with the most sexy expression I have ever seen..then I realized..He didn't put the condom on him.

_Shit!._

Who woud've thought that my plan of a conversation could turn into a wild rendezvous like this? that was quick.

I never seen that coming.  
But I dont give a damn.

************************************


	20. PAST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most beautiful thing about loving a guarded man, is that when he let you in, It's not because he needs you. He stopped needing other people a long time ago. But it's because he wants you in his life, and that is the purest love of all. I think.
> 
> -Mew

*************************************

I am fucked up, damned, screwed even..what the hell?

I don't know what I should think about first.

The fact that Gulf is indeed my lost step brother (thanks to my father for confirming that),

The fact that Gulf is actually the biological son of uncle Alex and Lulu (that was really startling to know of),

The thought that Kana's parents are against us being in a relationship  
(well atleast auntie remains impassive),

The danger that is lurking around and would strike anytime..

or the actual fuck that I confessed my feelings to Kana, we fucked..hard.  
and he's here sleeping peacefully beside me.

My mind is relentless, trying to absorb all the information that life has thrown upon me. I am in constant palpitations. Afraid that Kana would wake up anytime and notice my restlessness.

I still can't fathom how Kana ended up with his parents after the accident at the market. The memory of the nine year old me, still vividly engraved on my mind as if it happened only yesterday.

_That was a fine afternoon just before sunset, I asked Lulu if I can come with her and Nattarin to the market where a small carnival was set upon. We were walking slowly, excited for the attractions and games we will play soon. Kana's eyes were sparkling, sweeping from side to side. Then he looked up at the magnificent ferriswheel. I knew he wants to ride it, but we must ask for Lulu's permission first. I held Kana's hand tightly in mine when the bomb, a few meters away from us, went off, blasting everything in the surrounding. I was heavily wounded, Kana went missing and Lulu, died after a few minutes of arrival at the hospital._

I sigh heavily recalling the conversation with my father and uncle Alex earlier this morning.

 **"Son, your uncle Alex is the true biological father of Nattarin. He changed the child's name after the accident. Gulf's memory were erased, an amnesia, that explains why he can't remember anything including you and Lulu. We believed that if we pushed him to remember the past, it would only trigger the trauma and pain of losing his mother, so we never forced him to regain his memory. We just let time work its way naturally."**  
my father explained.  
Uncle Alex looked at me, his eyes glassy and asking for understanding.

 **"Lulu and I, we loved each other."**  
He sat on the bedside as he started to tell the story of Him and Lulu.

 **"But my parents were against our love and arranged me to marry your auntie. Nuchie is a good woman, she's gentle and loving, but I love Lulu so deeply that I can't accept to be married to anyone else."**  
I can see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

 **"I tried to fight for our love at first, that's when she got pregnant with Nattarin. I thought that my parents would accept us once we had a child, but no.. they became more feral and heartless. They made our life a living hell..As the time went by, Lulu gets tired and frustrated, she decided to give up on us. I don't know what happened or what changed her mind, but I just woke up one day with her and my son gone."**  
He looked down his tightly gripped palms and a single tear began to fall.

 **"I looked for her, even after I get married, I looked for her. Four years, I've been looking for her for four years, when I stumbled upon her name on the late night news. She was listed as a casualty in a bomb blasting incident."**  
His voice quivered. Heavy tears now flowing nonstop from his eyes. His ragged breathing indicates the weight of his suffering at the moment but he continued to tell their story.

 **"I almost died right there and then from agony when I saw Lulu's lifeless body. I cannot accept it. The woman I vowed to love forever, has died.. Alone. Without me by her side."**  
At this time, uncle cried so hard. His shoulders shaking uncontrolably, he cannot hold his emotions anymore that he needs a moment to compose himself.

Father and I remained silent to give him some time.

 **"I was so devastated that I forgot to ask about our son. When your father, happens to see me crying on her deathbed, I knew he was a good man. He was the one who informed me of Gulf's condition on the ICU. We talked..a lot. And I was very thankful for his kindness in taking care of Lulu and Gulf. I asked for Gulf's custody and lucky enough, Nuch has been a very understanding woman. She accepted Gulf with open arms and loved him beyond compare."**  
He brushed the tears off his wet face with a tissue on the bedside table.

**"My fondness of Nuch blossomed into love as time went by. She loved my son very much, she takes care of us and I can't ask for more. We never had a child of our own, that's why she has always been so protective of Gulf from the start. She treats him as her own son. Even my family didn't know about Gulf's story. We just said that we adopted the boy."**

"But papa, I thought you were planning to marry Lulu? and didn't you adopted Gulf?"  
I asked puzzled. Maybe my memories were flawed?

**"Yes, that was the plan before the accident happened. But the papers were never forwarded to the legal council as Lulu..well, died."**

I inhaled sharply. So Kana isn't my step brother after all. Should I be happy?

"I looked for him papa, you know that..why didn't you tell me?"  
I accusingly asked my father.

**"Because I know you would only cause trouble with his current life once you found him. Besides I never thought that you will actually find him."**

"And how about his name? why did you change it?"

 **"Mew, we did it all to protect Gulf. I believe, even back then, someone wants him and Lulu dead."**  
Uncle answered.

_What the hell? how am I gonna process these details?_

**"Mew, I will be going to ask you for a favor. Please keep this a secret for the mean time. I don't think Gulf is in the right condition to accept these information. Besides, I have to talk to my wife about this first, I hope you understand."**  
Uncle literally begged me, holding both of my hands. And I am so moved by the story that I nodded mindlessly.

I want to oppose so much but my tongue seem to get tied up in my throat. What am I going to say? do I have the right to meddle in their personal affairs? Thou this is Kana we are talking about, he is not mine to stick my nose into his life, atleast not yet. Keeping a secret this huge will take a toll on me for sure. I dont think I can hold it in for long, but I'll try my best. This is for the best.

 **"Son, let's go home. It's time you take a rest, really rest."**  
My father said grimly, looking at my casted leg.

"No papa Im fine..besides, I can't leave Kana's side now. Not with the kidnappers on the loose."  
I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth when I remember the incident at the parking lot. The nerve of those bastards.

_Wait till I get my hands on you, I swear even your eyes will bleed._

"How did we managed to get into this hospital papa? The last thing I remembered, someone hit me on the head."

 **"The police came on time, they found you unconcious on the ground while Gulf was abandoned inside the van. They have managed to caught two of the kidnappers but the others escaped. You're lucky you just got a mild concussion."**  
Papa tapped my shoulder gently. I felt his concern in that small contact. I was never close to my father, ever since he and my mom got separated, I distanced myself from both of them. Maybe because I hate the feeling of being loved one moment then being left alone the next.

"Why didn't they just shoot me instead?"  
I wondered.

" **Right, I was thinking the same."**  
Uncle Alex's brows furrowed into deep lines.

It's really a puzzle to me as to whom it might be. What are the reason behind these actions? for money? To scare Kana? his parents? or...

_Oh god no.._

A headache seeped through my temple causing the two older men to leave me to rest.

I was brought back to present when  
Kana squirmed in my arms and I held him tighter. Coaxing him towards my body, making sure he is wrapped in my warmth. His breath fanning the hollow of my neck, and I seem to get lost even more into the flow of my imagination.

_What am I gonna do to you now?_   
_Is it alright to ask for your parents consent at this point? Will they agree or disagree?_

Kana haven't said anything about loving me back, and I don't want to assume that he does. Call me brazen, but I'm not shallow to unnotice the change in him. The way he clings into me as if he's afraid to let me go, his fingers digging into my fore arm even thou he's asleep. But those were inadequate reasons to conclude that he feels the same way towards me.

And when he said he misses me too, oh boy..It makes my insides boil with pride. My baby missed me. But what if he's just confused?

I regretted the day I left without saying goodbye even more, maybe, if I did came to him that day..maybe we have settled the issue earlier, and better.

I wonder how will he react once he get to know the truth. Will he get angry at me for hiding it? will he hate his parents for not telling the truth from the start? How about us? Will he agree to be my boyfriend?   
What ever his decision, I will accept it. I will honor him and love him just the same.

How about me..Am I ready to have a boyfriend? Again?

I stared at his soft sleeping face, gently brushed my knuckles on his cheeks as I was momentarily enthralled by his beauty. How I missed looking at him up close like this. My heart throbbed in recognition and planted a chaste kiss on his forehead, inhaling the sweet scent of his hair.

_Baby scent..my baby._

I can't help myself but to hug him tighter, it is so damn comforting to feel his body close to mine like this. To feel his every breath intake and the soft rise and fall of his chest. This is the only thing that gives me peace of mind, the thought that he is safely cuddled into me.

\------------------------------------------------

**"Mew..wake up.. Mew.."**

An urgent voice grabs me out of my sleeping state, it is Ji-nie. She's shaking my shoulder and urgency was evident on her face.

"What is it Jin?"  
I looked around imediately, clasping my arm around Kana's shoulder automatically who is still asleep on my side.

**"Madam Nuch is coming, she's already at the lobby. Wake up Gulf, before she comes in and start a world war."**

"Oh right..Kana...Kana baby, wake up.."  
I gently caressed his face, my fingers tracing the jawline to his ear which is his most sensitive part.

 **"uuhhmm.."**  
He moaned and it vibrated directly down to my groins, making it harder for me to gather all my self control not to ravish him infront of Jin.

"Kana, Auntie is on the way. You gotta wake up and go back to your room, or else we'll be both dead."  
I chuckled as I shook him once again. Not that I care if we were caught up in this situation, I can proudly withstand any confrontations that may arise. But Kana is a different matter. He might not be fully prepared for something like this.

 **"Hhmm so noisy..I want to sleep some more.."**  
He snuggled up closer into my neck and I can't help but giggle then embraced him tighter.

"As much as I want this not to end, I am more concern of your sweet butt once your mother comes in here and saw you hugging me like a koala."  
I whispered in his ear ever softly but gets him on his feet faster than a speeding lightning.  
He just checked his hospital gown in place and without a glance, runs towards the door. Jin following behind him and I roared in laughter. What a morning to wake up to.  
\--------------------------------------------------

It was my fourth day at the hospital when some friends from the army gave notice of visiting me. It turns out that Jin informed them of my situation and asked for their help. Maybe more heads are really better than one. When Kana heard of this, he hastily get a black mask and wear it. Right, he is The Gulf Kanawut of thailand, how did I forget that?

Kana was discharged yesterday but chose to stay in my room all day, which we spent talking, cuddling or staring at each other then sleeping on my bed at night and I never meant to complain. His parents were busy fixing the situation. Uncle on the process of hunting the criminals, and auntie with the right and left interviews. Seems like the media has caught a sniff of the incident and has been nosy to get some hot issue.

The group of four came in. Kana who is sitting by the side of the bed jolted in surprise and I immediately held his hand to calm him down. I saw the agitation in his eyes as I caress his knuckles softly with my thumb.

"Sshh..it's okay baby..they're my friends, look at me.."  
I stared at his eyes intently feeling possessive of him all together. The need to protect him overpowering my senses.

"They are friends. No need to worry okay?"  
His eyes soften almost instantly and nodded slowly at me.

 **"Yo, Captain! zup? long time no see!"**  
Sergeant Daniels, beamed leading the others towards the bed. He is an american citizen, a martial arts specialist as well but not as good as Jin. Well no one was as good as Jin.

Kana leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear.  
 **"I'll go outside to get some fresh air."**

"No."  
I growled as my grasp on him tightens.

"I don't want you out of my sight..please."  
I pleaded back in a hush murmur. The thought of him getting out of my reach and much worse, not seeing a part of him even just for a while is a heavy toll on my anxiety.

 **"I'll stay on the couch then, you talk with your friends, I'll just play there on the corner. Will that be fine?"**  
He peered at me then offered me a reassuring smile behind the mask, where I gave a slight nod at.

Giving me a firm squeeze, he moved away to the couch in the corner at once where I can clearly see him.

 **"How did you remained off the hook all this time? we've been looking for you."**  
Jose', a mexican national, said with the heavy accent once they came beside my bed. He is a great cook and always the one incharge of the foods. Give him grass and he'll turn it out into some fine dining delicacy, Im not even joking.

 **"Yeah, you slick mutt. If it wasn't for Jin, I'm afraid you'll die without even seeing us. What happened?"**  
Said Chati, a thai sniper who happens to be a gay, tapped my shoulder lightly. He was discreet about his gender preference until the accident two years ago, and outed just after we were dismissed of our mission.

 **"Yes captain, you put my specialty to shame. I can't find you anywhere."**  
Jiro, the japanese IT smiled at me. He who is the best when it comes to intel gathering and information manipulation, happens to be a shy soul. As much introverted as my Kana. But if the best intel can't find me, who will?

I throw a loving glance up at my baby who is now busy tapping his cellphone, before I gave my full attention to the visitors. We talked, laughed and talked some more. Reminiscing our memories.

The talk with the team has been a very refreshing and informative one. I confided to them my problem and all promised to cooperate and help in anyway possible. We shared our own stories after they have gone out of the hospital. I admit that I decided to cut our communications because I suffered from a severe Post War Trauma. I have been deeply hurt and guilty for not being able to save all of my comrades, which they do understand.

Daniels lifts up the mood by throwing jokes here and there. What surprised me was how Chati, who used to be distant, became so giggly and touchy with me. Constantly caressing my arm, or my shoulder whenever I ride with Daniels' jokes.

 **"Do you guys remember that time when we got dispatched to the Russian desert and we ran out of food?"**  
Daniels asked.

 **"Yeah I remembered that, Jose' peeled a cactus, wrapped it on a cloth then began pounding on it with a 45. The next thing I knew, he was serving a patty made out of ground cactus."**  
Jin supplied.

"Who among you ate that ground cactus patty and didn't get a diarrhea after?"  
We all laughed heartily at remembrance, Jiro smiling silently. Chati slapped my chest a little harder, creating a loud thud that took Kana's attention.

 **"Oh, I'm sorry captain, I got carried away."**  
He said laughing then he caressed the part where he slapped. It doesn't hurt, and I don't mind at all, but then I felt a heavy stare directed at me and found Kana's scrutinizing deathly glare. His eyes slanted with obvious irritation, were fixed on Chati's hand. Then he looked straight at me, raised one brow then tilted his head to the left delicately, one will barely notice.

_Oh no, my baby is annoyed._

I immediately held Chati's hand.

"It's okay, that's enough."

 **"Anyway, Mew. Are you still single?"**  
Daniels asked suddenly taking me by surprise.

My eyes darted back at the silent man whose attention was on his mobile phone but I knew deep inside that he is listening to whatever I am going to answer. He is facing my direction, seated inclined at the couch's arm rest, while both his legs rests on the other side. I can see the shadow of his raised eyebrow, and yeah.. I might be in trouble if I answered incorrectly.

"Uhm.. well.. I uhh"

 **"Ohoi.. someone is in love!"**  
Chati teased me, which caused the others to follow suit.

"Well, I must admit I am.. but were not yet dating."  
I felt my face and ears burn with shame and I threw a glance at Kana whose face is also beet red.

 **"Our captain is a bit shy eh? Have you lost your charisma on women? Becoming sloppy huh?"**  
Jose', who is a well known womanizer laughed.

 **"Guys that's enough, Mew might melt in embarrassment."**  
Jin toss a knowing look at me.

 **"If that's the case captain, I assume you're not in a relationship with anyone right now.. am I right?"**  
Chati started to talk in hushed silence.

"Uh, yes, basically."

**"And it is not a secret to you that I am gay, right?"**

"Yes, why?"

 **"Captain, did you know that I have a crush on you? Even way back when we were at the army."**  
I was taken aback by the sudden confession.

"Uh, what?Why?"

**"What do you mean why? of course, because you're so goddamn hot!"**

**"Seriously Mew you didn't know? We all know about it?"**  
Daniels fanned the flame even more.

 **"If that's the case, can I make a move on you?"**  
He smiled seductively at me, which makes me cringe inside. He placed his hand on my shoulder and slowly makes its way towards my neck and down my chest.

The next scenes that follows were like of a soap opera I never have time to watch. It happened so quickly that none of us didn't get the chance to react.

\--------------------------------------------------

"Kana, lets talk."  
I said as I sit on the couch. My back has been aching from too much reclining on the hospital bed so I decided to move.

Kana just got out of the bathroom freshly showered, his hair still dripping. The reddish glow of the afternoon sunset sits deliciously unto his supple looking skin. I can't help but to lick my lips.

_Oh..how I love the view._

I get it that he has no plan of leaving my side, which delights me, but tortures me at the same time.

Wearing a white tank top and cotton shorts, he strolled infront of me.

 **"Pat me dry first 'thaat..talk later."**  
He handed me a clean white towel then sit infront of me, between my parted legs.

I took a hold of the cotton fabric and  
started to squeeze on both sides of his head, massaging through the center gently feeling the dampness transfer from his hair to the towel.

"Why did you do that?"

**"Did what?"**

"You know what."

 **"Uhhh..keep doing that I might get to sleep in here."**  
He's referring to my slow ministrations on his head.

"Kana..Why did you do it?"

**"Do I need to have a reason in everything that I do?"**

"Baby, you don't just kiss anyone without a reason, unless you like them at least. Please tell me you're not used to doing that with others."

**"No, I don't do that to others."**

"Then, care to tell me why then?"

**"Hmm..this is good."**

"Kana.."

**"What?.."**

"My question...answer please."

**"Hmm..I dont know."**

"What do you mean you dont know?"

After a while of silence, I let out an exasperated breath and decided to  
drop the topic, maybe he's not yet prepared to accept the fact or he isn't aware enough why he did the things he have done.

 **"I like you. Happy?"**  
He said after a long pause.  
And I think I have became deaf.

"I'm sorry? Can you please repeat?"

**"Which part of I. Like. You. is hard to understand?"**

I was left speechless for a while. I couldn't believe my ears, and my hands started a gentle tremble.  
Mixed emotions running wild in my mind..happiness, pride, peace..but then, insecurity kicks in.

"Have you ever thought it through?what if you dont really liked me or maybe you're just infatuated with me?"  
I asked as I continued to knead his scalp.

I placed the towel flatly on his head, letting it cover him fully including his face. I think my arms lost its strength.

"Are you totally sure about that?"  
I still can't believe my ears.

**"I like you that's it. plain and simple.. do I need a reason for liking someone?"**

"Well, no..but I need clarifications, I want to be sure. A man has insecurities you know."

**"Ugh..how about.."**

With the towel still placed on his head, he twists and turns around to face me..

I got curious so I lifted the lid to see what he is up to.

"How about wha-"  
I meant to ask but my breath hitched as I saw the burning passion in his deep brown orbs. My lips parted in silent gasps. Lord, his eyes were blazing, looking up at me with so much ferocity. Just like an untamed tiger out for a hunt. A look that calls for my inner god to squirm in delight as I felt hot electricity travelled from my spine to my groin. My shaft snapping in attention.

 **"How about I show you instead?"**  
His playful stance taking me by surprise. Shit. Kana looks hungry but not for food.

Snaking his hands into the sides of my thighs, beneath the hospital gown, he slowly ripped down the boxers off my body. His blazing eyes never leaving mine. As if I'm into trance, I clutched on the towel tightly in anticipation.

He began kneeding my aching manhood into his palm. Both of his hands busy with my hardened cock and I started to lose myself in pleasure. I can't believe my eyes that my baby is doing this to me. I mean, never in my wildest imagination that he could have the courage to do this to me.

"Kana, baby..are you sure about this?"  
I let out a throaty moan when I saw him licked and bites his lower lip. It's godforsakenly arrousing. Fuck! help me.

"Please don't bite that fucking lip. It makes me want to fuck you, but I guess you have other things on mind?"  
I barely whispered, my labored breath hitching at every intake. I don't think my lungs will survive this.

He press a chaste kiss into the tip of my glistening slit and I can't control the sudden jolt of my hips upward.

 **"You like that?"**  
Oh how could he ask such an obvious question.

"Fuck yeah baby.."

He clasps me even tighter then began to move up and down on an achingly slow rhythm. My breath hisses out through clenched teeth, I can't help but to close my eyes, savoring the moment.

I want to touch him, god I wanted to kiss him hard and pluck that fucking lipbite off his pout. His movements accelerated a bit and I moaned in response, surrendering to the rhythm.

_Oh yess...that's it..good boy.._

I can feel his hand trembling a little. The idea of this being his first time doing such bold act makes my cock harder. I was so lost in the movement that I didn't notice when did I let go of the towel, letting it fall into his shoulders. I am now slouched, seated on the couch, my back pressed firmly on it, head thrown back and my hands rested on both sides of his head, clutching at his hair for my dear life.

Suddenly, He draws me into his mouth. Sucking gently.

_Oh fuck! I think I'm gonna die.._

My left hand flew up to my mouth to stiffle moans after moans from escaping my mouth. I bite hard on the back of my hand to control my shaking body. This is insanely good.

Kana sucked harder and moved faster. His mouth tormenting me, his shielded teeth grazing deliciously through my fevered skin.

"Oh god baby..that is so good."

I felt myself go deeper, goddamned deep into his mouth until I hit his throat.

_Fuck!?_

I wonder how much more I can take of this delicious torture my baby is giving me. And I want more, damn it! how I want more..

Like a freak, he seems to have heard my thoughts and he pumps me harder, clamps his mouth tighter on me and my shaft dive in deeper.  
I forgot how to control my hands that I grab his head and thrust into that sinful mouth of his, desperately trying to hold into the last bit of my sanity.

"Shit baby, I'm gonna come..please stop now."  
I warn him breathlessly. I don't think I can hold it in any longer as he hummed in answer.

When all of a sudden, he looked up at me, through the hooded lashes..a look of determination mirroring in his darken orbs, a sultry, sexy, fucking glint of mischief on its corners. Nothing prepared me for the next thing that he did.  
He flicked his tongue up the head of my dick, encircling my shaft beneath those soft sheets of his insides all the while sucking ferociously.

My orgasm came in an instant. I lost all my control and come undone, ejaculating into the back of his throat. Shuddering, palpitating..I floated..

"Ahhhhh...fuck it!.."  
I let out a high-pitched moan in pleasure, feeling my cum flow as I slumped into the couch feeling all drained and weak.

Kana lets go of me with a smirk on his lips. He is glowing with pride, and he should be. That was one hell of a blowjob.

 **"How you like that? hmm?"**  
He asked, his eyes twinkling in tease.

"That was amazing baby..how did you learned to do that?"  
I asked awe struck.

 **"Hmm..research?"**  
He smiled at me mischievously.

"Oh, and what an amazing intel you got there. Come..I owe you an orgasm."  
I replied breathily as I reached for his hand and started to guide him towards my lap. How I want to carry him to the bed, but my healing wound wont let me do my bidding.

 **"Your leg might hurt 'thaat."**  
He said while straddling me on the couch, my palms instantly landing on both sides of his ass cheeks, giving it a soft squeeze. My lips curved at the endearment that he used.

"You still remember that huh? oh yes, I am..and always will be your 'thaat."

 **"Ugh, but your leg. Im saying you're not properly healed."**  
He murmured the last sentence as my lips were a mere inch away from his.  
God, I want him now. Fast.

Leg may be damned.  
But there's no way I am not fucking him right now.

His groans get drowned in my throat as I give him the deepest kiss I have ever given to anyone.

*********************************


	21. TRIGGERED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revenge sounds unwise.  
> Vengeance is only for the weak minded.  
> Karma takes too long to respond.  
> So..  
> Let me just beat the shit out of you.
> 
> -Gulf

TRIGGER WARNING!!  
Mew's past 'rumored' lover is here..  
You know who.  
If you dont want to read about him, skip this chapter.  
But I know you would anyway..so.🙈😂  
Read at your own risk.  
You have been warned   
😋😘  
********************************  
  


*************************************  
 **"If that's the case, can I make a move on you?"**  
The bland looking tall guy said and I felt all my blood rushed upward. I believe the name is Zhati? Chatee??

_Ugh.. the hell I care about his stupid name.._

All I care about now was the fact that he is molesting Mew, my man..okay, not yet..but mine just the same. My insides boiling and I really want to pull his head out of Mew's sight zone, thanks for my civilized upbringing that's keeping me at bay. My teeth gritted in annoyance.

I get it that he's gay, but should he be so vulgar like that?   
What about self respect?  
I have been listening quietly from the corner of the room, silently smiling at every jokes and banter. But when Mew's love life became the on point topic of the small talk, it took a hundred and one percent of my attention instantly.

 **"Ei Chati, careful. The captain might take you on that."**  
the bronzed skinned guy with a beard and has a funny accent said.

**"I don't mind at all, besides he said he's single."**

_Okay.. that's it._   
_Let me show you who is single here._

With all my pent up irritation, I stand up abruptly pulling down my black face mask. I stomped my way to the bed, then without further ado, I grabbed Mew in the nape, then smacked my lips into his. My neck angeled in a way so that the bland cockroach may have a good look at my face.

_Yes, that's it fucker..look at me._   
_I am the one he is currently in love with idiot!._

I kissed him deep but in haste, he barely been able to react.

Licking my lips, I looked straight at Ji-nie, past the dumbfounded faces of the louts.

"Ji-nie, come with me. I wanna rest at the room next door."  
Unblinking, I walked towards the door, never checking if Jin is behind me or what.

 **"Fuck dude! is that Gulf Kanawut?!"**  
I heard the american blonde guy asked before I can completely shut the door behind.  
\--------------------------------------------  
 **"Did you know that they bombarded me with questions the moment you shut that door?"**  
Mew said. I am still sitting on his lap, cuddled warmly between his arms as he caressed my nape softly.

I believe Ji-nie is now soundly sleeping next door. She might need to have a few days to recover from her wound.

"Hmm.. I expected that. So, did 'your friend' gets what I want to say?"  
I asked massaging his scalp, soft curls sliding smoothly through my fingers.

 **"Chati?..hmm, not just him. All of them gets what you want to say."**  
His fingers drawing small circles down my back.

"Are you mad at me?"  
I distanced a little from him to look at his face. Searching for a sign of indignation, but found none.

 **"What makes you think that I'm mad?"**  
His eyes softens.

"You never said anything about it."

He smiled, snuggled up my neck and hugged my waist even tighter, feeling his thundering heartbeat, he planted a chaste kiss just below my ear.

**"I'm in awe baby. You pleased me, big time."**

"Aow, did I?"

 **"Yes, and let me tell you..Chati is just a friend. A comrade, nothing more. He was just joking earlier and I found out that he's currently in a relationship with someone. No reason to get jealous, okay?"**  
He explained and I inhaled his sweat swamped hair.   
His scent sending unexplainable chill up my spine.

"Ugh, I understand. Let me tell you too, I am not jealous. I just want to introduce myself, which you seem to have forgotten."

**"Yeah right. As you say so. Hmm, come, let's go to bed, time to sleep na."**

_Hmm, should I be sleeping on the bed, or sleeping on the man who owns the bed?_

I smiled on my own naughty thoughts. How brazen!

************************************  
On the sixth day of being admitted, Mew was given a go signal to get discharged the next day. His wound wasn't totally healed but he can walk fairly now.

_We even had sex couple of times already, he is healed alright?_

Still no traces of the kidnappers, but it's good that they didn't come after me again. Phor said never to get our guards down, but Mew has other things in mind. He might do something to capture that hooligans, and I won't be watching him kill himself doing so. I won't let anything or anyone get hurt because of me, again.

It is great that Ji-nie also get discharged, and I granted her a weeks vacation. But she refused nonetheless, well what do I expect when Mew is looking daggers at her.

 **"We need her by your side Kana."**  
he said sternly.

"But the lady needs a vacation, look at her, she looks like she's been deprived of sleep for the longest time. Do you even have a love life Jin?"  
I said jokingly.

 **"No to both..I don't need a vacation, and No, I don't need a lovelife."**  
She said raising a brow at Mew, that was followed by a hearty laugh by the man beside me.

We were sitting on the bed, his arms were encircled around my waist as always, while Ji-nie sits on the couch nearby.

 **"See? she said it. We need her baby. I don't trust myself alone protecting you..hmm?"**  
he kissed my shoulder then rested his chin on it. Such a baby.

"Ugh!.what ever!"  
surrendering to them both I smiled and tapped his thigh.

 **"That reminds me, phi Best called, he said you must attend the Album launch for your Boyfriend project the next day. Would you be fine?"**  
I can feel Mew's perturbation against the idea. His muscles tenses under my palms.

"Well it can't be helped. Besides, you won't leave me alone right?"  
I said looking at both him and Jin.

 **"Of course we won't let you out of our sight."**  
Jin answered seriously. Her face bare of any humor.

 **"I called my friends to assist with the security baby, is it okay with you?"**  
He kissed the length of my shoulder blades, and my insides quivered in recognition.

"Everything is fine as long as you're with me."  
I saw a blush of pink crept up his face and neck followed by a hearty giggle.  
How I loved the sound of his laugh.  
Like a melody that calms my nerves.

_Iw, was that too cheesy?_

When did I became a sweet talker?

When suddenly, the door bursts open.  
Surprising the three of us.

 **"Mew! What the hell happened to you?!"**  
A slim, fair skinned man stands at the entrance. His height a little shorter than mine, hair sleek and brushed to the side, his eyes hooded with a light purple shades. The sloped nose and thin lips glistening in moist.

_Who is this guy?_

He walked towards us, making me jolt when Mew took off his arms around me. The emptiness I instantly felt was astounding.

_Yeah..when did I turned to be so clingy?_

**"Arthie?"**  
Surprised Mew is an understatement. He is shaken, startled, stupefied even.

The newcomer swung himself towards Mew and enclosed him in a very tight hug I was almost pushed out of the bed. So I moved myself farther away to give them space, what ever they need.

As if I don't exist on their world, this Artie guy took a hold of Mew's face, scanned his body from head to toe. Ruffling his hair, brushing the broad shoulders, checking out his chest and thighs.

The audacity of this man to fondle Mew infront of me?!

_Stop pawing my man.._   
_Excuse me?!_

**"Arthie, that's enough. Im fine."**  
Mew noticed the scowl on my face that I have no plan of hiding. My brow raised and questioning eyes piercing through his head.

 **"I got so worried when uncle Boon said you were at a hospital. I flew right away to find you. What have you done this time?"**  
He stopped touching and settled his grabby hands on Mew's biceps.

 **"Uhm.. Artie, can we talk outside?"**  
Mew hold the stranger's shoulders away from his body. He looked at me with pleading eyes, asking for understanding.  
Feeling his awkwardness, I looked away.

_What am I supposed to understand?_

_**"** _ **Uhm, Jin, Gulf, this is Arthie, my childhood friend..Arthie, this is Jin, my co worker and this is Gulf my employer."**

_Employer??!_

Atleast he had the nerve to introduce us first before ogling at each other. My temper simmers as I regard the stranger. Jin waves at him while I sweep my eyes up and down his length.

"Hi."  
My short, unbothered, not-giving-a-damn reply.

 **"Ow I'm so sorry for my rudeness. Hi Jin, Gulf, I am Arthie. How are you?.Mew and I grew up together and..wait a minute, you look familiar, have I seen you somewhere?"**  
His brows furrows in deep concentration.

 **"Ughm, Arthie, let's talk outside."**  
Mew cut off what ever Arthie was saying, grabbed his wrists and almost dragged him outside.

I was left dumbfounded. Jin and I exchanged astonished gazes and she shrugged her shoulders.

"You know him Jin?"

**"Well, ah..only from Mew's stories."**

"Who is he? I don't think they were just childhood friends, judging from his reaction and how he comfortably touched Mew."  
I can feel the the annoyance slowly creeping up my sleeve. My heart begin to hammer when Jin moves her eyes away. She knows something.

"Jin."

 **"Uh,.. it's better that you ask Mew about that. I think I don't have the right to answer, please understand."**  
She said biting her lip.

There is definitely something going on here, and I'm bound to find out. But why am I curious to know? It's not as if we're together or something. He likes me, and I like him too, that's a given..but are we in a relationship yet? I don't think so.

But the fact that he is outside, talking to that skinny spoiled-looking-banana alien, it irks me. It feels like something pinching at my gut.

I waited, sitting on the side of the bed, drumming my fingers through my thighs. Patience is not my forte, but with Mew, I can practice doing so. What's taking them so long?

Decided to play on my phone, I didn't notice Mew returning from his rather long talk. He came back alone thou.

"Where's your company?"  
I squeak. Didn't intend it to sound accusatory but it came out just like that. As if I am charging him of doing something inappropriate.

"He left already. He just checks me out, that's all. Hmm, did my baby miss me?"  
He sits beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist. I cringe in response.

I want to ask him questions but I can't. Would it seem unfitting to ask about his 'friend'? What if he misinterprets that as being nosy? or overly possessive..which I strongly oppose to being one. I dont want him to feel suffocated.

 **"Uhm, excuse me..is my existence a joke here?"**  
Jin clears her throat and smiled teasingly at us.

 **"Fuck off Jin, you may go to the cafeteria. Buy something to eat or what ever. Get lost for about an hour..Can you do that?..as a favor I guess?"**  
He tightens his hold on me, giving me that hot, knowing look I knew very well.

"Think you can get through with that huh? You wish!"  
I pushed him away from me, taking my phone, I walked towards the door to get out. I need a breath of fresh air, think my insides were burning.  
How dare he? I don't even know what I am fuming about but I want to get away from him even for a while.

 **"Where are you going?!"**  
He asked, voice striken with panic. I can sense his tense from a distance.

 **"Shall I accompany you?"**  
Jin asked too.

"No, just stay there, I want to be alone. I'll just get something to eat."  
I remarked throwing him a side glance while closing the door. Jin might follow me anyway even if I asked her not to.  
The two security police who were assigned to me perks up in attention and follows me to the cafeteria.

 **"So, it's really you..KANA."**  
A voice coming from behind making me jolt in surprise as I was paying the food I ordered on the counter. I remember Mew introducing me as Gulf, so why the hell he calls me by my pet name?

Or did they talk long enough to discuss even about my nickname?  
How deep is their relationship really?

"Oh hi..Arthie right? I thought you left already, Mew said so. Would you like something to eat or--?"

 **"No, but.. can we talk?"**  
He cuts me off. His voice seems urgent, glancing sideways as if checking if I am with someone or am I alone. Should I be bothered? I settle to dismiss the idea, as he is Mew's friend, I shall trust him, right?

"O-okay. Shall we take a seat?"  
I guided him to a nearby table, motions the two police officers that it's fine and they sat on the table next to us.

 **"I wont beat around the bush, I don't care if you are vulnerable at the moment or what but get your hands off Mew."**  
I was taken aback by the sudden attack. Like what the hell? He seems so kind and sweet earlier. Is that just a facade to lull me into trusting him?

"Wh-why? what the fuck are you talking about? Who are you to tell me what to do?"  
Emotions come flooding my mind, clouding my judgement. Is this some kind of a drama scene from a series? where the protagonist were cornered and get threatened by a villain?

 _Oh, how cute._  
I smirked.

" **I am Mew's boyfriend."**

That didn't sound right to my ear. It's remorsing to the bones.  
Felt like Im going to puke.

"Im sorry?!"  
I felt every ounce of muscle on my body retaliate with the statement, making me grip my knuckles white. I wanna punch someone right now, someone that named Mew.  
My blood began to boil in resentment.  
How dare he to play with my feelings? again?? fucking hell no!..

 **"Well, actually we began to fall apart two years ago but, I am not giving up on him. I still consider us being together. He never did say we're over anyway."**  
He explained. His slanted eyes giving the intimidating look, as if it's his way to scare me off.

I don't know how to react with that. What am I suppose to say? Goodluck?  
Betterluck next time? Su Su na?

_Shit!._   
_How insolent!_

"Are you threatening me?"  
The nerve of this guy to confront me?!  
Me? Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong?

" **If you put it that way then, so be it. I just want you to know where your place should be. And it is not beside him."**  
He is clearly threatening me.

_Hmm, you want some spice? chillies shall be served then._

"Well, I don't know who you 'have been' to him or how he wants you now..And If it wasn't obvious enough, I dont fucking care..but one thing is for sure, **HE BELONGS TO ME.** Got that? now please go, before I called out my dogs to kiss your dirty mouth."  
That's not a lie thou. Mew is my personal bodyguard. I hired him, so he is basically mine.  
I glanced at the cafeteria entrance and saw Jin arrive. She saw who am I talking to and her eyes suddenly widens in alarm.

I hold my palm up to stop her from approaching, 'I got this' I mouthed.

I looked back at the foul-mouthed creature infront of me. He looked utterly dumbfounded by my rebat, his lips hang opened and his eyes wide as if its going to fall off it's socket.

**"Excuse me?! Are you dismissing me off?"**

_What? you can't believe someone could do this to you?likewise mofo..likewise._

"No, i am politely asking you to leave.. i have manners."

"What the-?"  
I can see his body trembled in outrage, but I dont give a fuck. He may slit his throat right before my eyes and I won't give a damn.

_So much for trusting strangers eh?_

"Im sorry, I have a 'patient' that's waiting for my indespensable presence..so if you'll excuse me."  
I said, and without waiting for his reply, stand up, strolled towards Ji-nie who stays standing nearby. She's giving me apprehensive looks.

"It's totally fine Jin, chill."  
I whispered into her, tapping her shoulders then walked out first.

But the raging madness inside of me was far from being chill at all. And I am sure, nothing in this goddamned world could simmer down my rage. Not even Mew. Specially not Mew.

I've had enough of your play time Mew Suppasit. Just wait, It wound be a pleasure to return the favor I have been given forcefully. Im gonna hurt you. I promise.

************************************

  
  
  
  
  
  



	22. FIRE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loving you is easy, but keeping you safe is not. Specially from me.
> 
> -Mew

*************************************  
Something is off with Kana.  
I can sense it from the way he stole a glance at me and the way he looks away once I caught him doing so. Something changed in the way he responds to my playful touches.

It feels like he wanted to say something but refused to honor the thought and chose to keep it in. Knowing that fucks the shit out of me. What is it?

This demeanor began two days ago, after the appearance of Arthie at the hospital. He came back from the cafeteria acting stiffly. He smiled at me but that didn't reached his eyes. I kissed his cheek, hugged him and he hugged back but I can feel that something is bothering him. I asked what's wrong but he just said it's nothing, that he's tired and his mom wants him to take a rest at home before his album launch.

I believed the excuse was valid and agreed to let him go home, given that Jin will come with him together with the two police securities. The thought that I will be discharged by the next day anyway makes me disregard the problem.

Arthur or Arthie, as Kana was the one who gave him the pet name, is our neighbor in Chiang Mai. He was once Kana's playmate and when the accident happened, he began to befriend me, with the excuse that both of us was feeling the same loss. As I was totally devastated that time since Kana went missing, I became dependent of the friendship that he offered. Getting closer and closer each day, he fills up the emptiness that I am feeling inside. I've got no one to talk to about what I have been going thru and Arthie was there for me. He accepted me for who I am, no matter how broken I have become.

I didn't notice when it happened but we became lovers, exploring each others unknown worlds. I got so consumed that I let him do to me everything and anything, just to get off my mind the guilt I have been suffering from.

I thought I would find the happiness that I am searching for. Having Arthie in my life is enjoyable yes, to some extent, but not satisfying. His company never satiates the thirst I have for Kana's presence.   
His jolly laugh would never match with Kana's hearty giggle.   
His juicy mind can never rival Kana's smart mouth.

Then I realized, while I am wasting my precious time seeking peace of mind and fake happiness, why don't I look for the one who can give it all to me.

Thus began my journey into finding my supposedly stepbrother, getting into college, until Arthie and I drifted apart due to my lack of time. I have always known him to be a spoiled brat, jealous and possessive. I enjoyed it during the early days. The feeling of being owned, the belongingness, the joy of being taken cared of. But he went too far that I got suffocated, that's when I slowly get my way out of him, far enough to forget his relevance with my life. I joined the army and he stopped crossing my mind all together, not even when I found Kana. And I felt bad about it now but thoughts of him were so far away that it get me awestruck when I saw him at the hospital. I didn't expect him of all people to come.

We talked, I explained the situation, I even told him that I found Nattarin, my Kana..his playmate. I envisioned him to be happy, but he isn't. His jealousy and possessiveness eats him alive that our small talk ended on the bad side, causing him to walk out on me.   
I didn't paid much attention to his visit, but thinking about it now, maybe I should have been more careful.

Never did I expect that the 'problem' I didn't took notice of would escalate into something bigger. This includes Kana not going out of his room to welcome me when I get back to Traipi mansion. That he almost wouldn't look at me during dinner, and his eyes looking puffy in the morning. I tried to message him on line, called even, but he never answered.

_What the fuck is wrong?!_

I am curious, worried and pained by this distance he is creating between us. I longed to feel his skin against mine. To smell his familiar scent, to bath in his warmth. I am craving so much for him that a simple eye contact would suffice the need, but he has been so selfish to grant me even a single one.

I saw him this morning in the parking lot. He was wearing a white long sleeved sweat shirt, black long john's and my heart skipped a beat at his apple-tied hair. His face looks so soft to touch and I drank in his appearance. His eyes looks a bit swollen along with his rosy pout.

_What in the god's grace is that overflowing cuteness?._   
_I missed him so much._

It's only been a day and a half but I think I'm losing my mind if I didn't get to touch him today. He didn't spare a glance at me and just closed the door of his car. I felt a jab of disapointment hit my chest. It hurts to be ignored. If it was anyone, I wouldn't mind, but it is my Kana who's ignoring me, and I wanna whack my head to know why he is doing this to me.

I continued instructing Daniels, Chati, Jose' and Jiro what to do despite the heaviness that Im feeling inside. Yes, I bring the team to be prepared just in case. I almost lose him last time with just me and Jin, so this is me learning my lesson.

After everything has been properly organized, I make my way to Kana's van where phi Best is now seated with him. But as I opened the driver's seat, Jin held me back. My eyes darting instantly to her, a brow perked up, questioning.

" **Gulf said he wants me to drive."**  
She answered with her head bowed down, she slipped into the driver's seat, avoiding my gaze.

Having my temper pushed further, I swung the door widely opened and moved closer to Jin, looking intently into her widened eyes.

"What ever the fuck is going on, you will tell me when we get there."  
I said darkly, then turns to held my stare with the subject of my suffering.

"And no It's not a threat, it's a promise."  
I added, eyeing him hard, then moves away closing the door with a bang.

I am fuming with madness as I make my way to the convoy car loading the rest of my team. I fail to understand what is happening and I've got no one to ask for clarification but the one causing the chaos raging deep within me.

 _Why is he doing this?_ _Is he sulking at_ me?

\-----------------------------------------------  
BF PROJECT ALBUM LAUNCH

The merits has begun when we arrived at the venue of the album launch, sparing me no time to confront either Kana or Jin. We are ten minutes late so I immediately put my team to work, our positions determined.

Kana goes directly to the VIP dressing room assigned to him to be prepared with make up and hair, phi Best carrying his spare of clothes, I and Jin following. Behind us is Daniels, Chati and Jose'.

Once inside, the sulking boy went to change his clothes behind the curtained corner, while me, Jose' and Ji-nie stand still to wait. There were just a few people in the room, the wardrobe staff who is now assisting Kana, the hair stylist, and a photographer that is now recording anything maybe for the behind the scenes.

He finished changing and appeared wearing a black suit and a black pants. The white shirt beneath suits him perfectly. Without even throwing a glance, he sat on the chair, prepared for him to be pampered. He pulled out his mobile and started playing a game.

I can't help myself but to stare at his face on the mirror, gulping as I get mesmerized by his bare face. So innocent looking, so pure yet he can drive me crazy with his hidden wildness. I looked in silence as if waiting for him to notice me. God, I really miss him.

_Please look at me..just once.._

Just like a prayer, he suddenly lifts his eyes from his mobile phone, and it connected with mine. I felt the rush of blood into my brain, my heart throbbed like a mad man and how I wish he could see thru my eyes the pain this cold treatment is causing me. His eyelids flicker, and for a split second, I thought I saw loneliness cross his eyes but he looked away immediately.

 **"Mr. Mew! long time no see!"**  
Lhyn beamed beside me, making me jolt in surprise as I stand a few feet behind Kana's chair. His hair is being styled and I was so engrossed in looking at his reflection on the mirror, dranking in all of his gorgeous glory.. simply because I miss him, when the sudden tap on my shoulder came.

"Hey..I uhm, yeah, long time..what are you doing here? Do you need a hand?"  
I asked looking down at the bulky baggage she is holding.

 **"Oh no, It's fine, I can manage. Gotta go prep our superstar."**  
She smiled moving forward at the one who is now smiling from ear to ear looking back at her.

Something warm passed through my chest as I watch his eyes twinkle. How I missed that smile, missed to be the object of that smile. But then his eyes suddenly switches at me, and I froze. I saw a glint of hatred in there, his jaws clenched before he turns back to look at his phone.

_What the hell?!_   
_What did I do?_

My brows furrowed deeper into my forehead as I glanced at Jin. She is looking back at me with wariness, convincing me that she surely knows something.

This is not going any further..   
I will get into the bottom of this once this event is finished.

Minutes later, Kana has been called to proceed on stage as the live feed will be starting soon. My muscles tenses abruptly, eyes never leaving my baby's silhouette.

"Guys be prepared, never let your guard down. Keep him safe everyone, please."  
I speak into the earpiece connected to the five of them. They are in position.

 **"Copy."**  
All replied but not Jose'.

"Jose', what's the matter?"  
My eyes darting across the room where Jose' were just standing, gaping at...Lhyn? His mouth slightly open and I can see a shadow of saliva about to drip.

"Jose', what's the matter? are you okay?"  
I repeated the question and I heard Jin laugh beside me, I looked at her confused.

" **Is everything allright in there?"**  
Daniels called out, He and Chati were just outside the room. While Jiro remained in the car, doing whatever he's good at.

 **"Can't you see, he is smitten."**  
Jin pouted at Lhyn's direction as she puts finishing touches to Kana's face.

 **"Ohoi, the lady's man is in love!..for** **the what? 20th time this week?."**  
Chati beamed, teasing the speechless womanizer.

 **"Hey, stop it. Me zoning out for a while doesn't give you the right to tease me about my lovelife. And Chati, are you keeping track of my girlfriends?"**  
Jose' replied in a hushed spat.

"Guys, that's enough. Focus. Now."  
I said cutting their small banter when I saw Kana stand up. It is my cue to lead outside, throwing him a last glance..

_How gorgeous.._

I moved towards the door.

My eyes darting around automatically as I scanned the area for possible threats, I can feel the team jumping into alert mode as I lead Kana approaching the stage. Staff members greeted us and I gave way for Kana to alight the stairs up the makeshift stage, instantly offering my hand to support. He seems distracted as he accepts my hand unknowingly. The moment our palms meet, I felt the cold nervousness emanating from him. Giving it a soft squeeze, I leaned closer to whisper some encouragements.

"Hey, I'm here, we're here. Su su na."  
Gone was the irritation I am feeling earlier, the desire to protect overpowers everything. He didn't look at me, but smiled after letting out a heavy breath and squeezed back my palm.

_Is that a thank you? I'll consider that as a thank you.._

I position myself near the stage, as I want the one to be the closest to him as possible, Jin standing opposite mine. The others were scattered everywhere, but at within my field of vision.

"Okay Muffin Guardians, do what you do best. Find the assholes, protect the muffin. Anyone suspicious is always a subject, do you copy?"  
I talk through our earpiece communicator, sweeping my eye through the crowded place.

**"Copy captain."**

**"Who thought about the team name?"**  
Jin asked

 **"I did, why?"**  
Chati replied.

 **"Uh, nothing..it's just, so cheesy."**  
said Jin, I can sense the hidden smirk beneath her lips.

" **Yeah, I thought so too. But the captain approved of it, so..what do we say? The love of his life is indeed a muffin."**  
Daniels pitch in and the rest giggled in unison.

 **"Que cojones! would you look at that, such a beauty.."**  
Jose's surprised tone got me looking at the stage where Kana is just appearing.

Clouds of smoke surrounding him as he walked confidently towards the center stage. He looked so dashingly gorgeous, and my heart twitch in pride. The crowd of live audiences uproar in unison, some even screamed their lungs out.  
The white shirt beneath his suit is glowing. The suit itself fitted on his soft shoulders perfectly and the pants that hug his slim legs..oh how surreal is this?

  
**"God!..I envy you cap."**  
Chati remark breathily as Daniels whistled at the same time.

They aren't wrong, I prettily envy myself right now.  
Damn! how did you get such a fine man?..

  
He stopped at the center of the stage, beside his mate. I was so engrossed watching him that it was too late when I noticed the host and the audience bickering about something. I glanced at the big monitor behind the stage.

 **"Ohoi!.seems like someone is whipped!"**  
Sounds like they were referring to the man standing beside Kana. His built is equally striking. Towering height, tough looking shoulders, lean arms. But the thing is, his neck looks like it's gonna snap any moment now from looking at my baby.

  
**"Oh my mama mia! Gulf and Kao! why you two looked so good together?"**  
The host screamed and squeeled like a dying pig. It hurts my ears. What the fuck is he saying?

_What do you mean by Kana looks good together with someone else aside from me?_

My grip tightens. The scene before my eyes is too offensing for my taste, that I looked away as I felt the creeping madness in my chest. I must calm down, this is just work. He is working, dammit!.

Focusing my eyes on the audience, I think about the reason why am I here with the team.

"Guys that's enough ogling, do your job.NOW."  
That came out sounding more harshly than I intended it to be.

_Ugh, calm down Suppasit..you are in a mission, you must not loose your cool._

As I glide my sight along the crowd, my eyes seems to uncontrollably getting drawn into the small monitor just infront of me. The display on it gets me fuming with irritation.

The man named Kao, is still looking intensely at Kana and it is unnervingly annoying to see.

  
_Quit it man!_

The sudden urge to punch him in the face came rushing in my head like thundering waves of the ocean on a stormy night. Im barely hangging on my self control at the moment.

 **"Mew, relax. Think about the assignment at hand."**  
Jin's soothing voice came over the ear piece and that pulls me back to focus.

" **Yeah capt'n, your veins looks like it's gonna burst any moment now, I can see it from here."**  
Daniels pitch in, and I let out a dry laugh.

"Im fine."  
For the time being, I should be fine. Must be. Need to be.

The parade of the members finished and they were called to be seated lined up across the stage. Kana sitting still beside the whipped man, Kao and his eyes were anywhere but at my man. I can see the screaming attraction in every stolen glances, the way his body is angled towards him and the goofy smile plastered on his lips.

Meanwhile, Kana seems clueless on everything that is happening around him. He sat there playing with the mic as he listens to the host interview his mates.

Then it is his turn to be questioned.

 **"Gulf, we can see clearly that Kao is smitten by your charm, how do you feel about that?"**  
Kao laughed nervously as Kana looked at him smiling.

 **"Aow, are you phi?"**  
he asked.

 **"Well, who wouldn't?"**  
the audience screamed.

 **"Ahm, it's fine.. ahaha..I dont know what to say."**  
He giggled. He fucking giggled as if he's enjoying the attention he's getting.

_Ugh, god help me._

**"So let me ask the obvious question Kao and the rest of us wants to know, are you single Gulf?"**  
The host asked.

 **"Uhm, well yes. Yeah Im single."**  
he followed that with a hearty laugh that makes me clutch at my wrist stiffly.

_Single huh?_

**"Has anyone caught your attention yet?I mean do you have anyone you like? as in anyone present at the moment?"**  
The host teases him even more and the flush of red washed over his face.

 **"Well, chai..there is."**  
His eyes became half moons as he laughed shyly. My heart fluttering at that. How cute.

**"Ohoi, we wanna know who it is..is that person in here, right now?"**

**"Yes."**  
another shy laugh, then he looked straight at the camera that registers on the monitor infront of me. That makes me jolt suddenly, it felt as if he's looking straight at me.

  
**"Yes, that person is here."**  
Then he looked on his left where he meets the beaming Kao. His laugh was loud as a howling cow.

What does that even mean? I wanna poke his eyes and feed it to the birds! Damn!

 **"Let's say, you really like this person, but they don't pay attention to you, what would you do?"**  
Another teasing question. Without looking back at the stage, my eyes were plastered on the monitor, silently waiting what the answer would be.

It took him a couple of seconds before he answers.

 **"I would do something."**  
He said.

**"And what would it be?"**

**"This..."**

  
_Fuck!_

I can't believe he did a fucking lipbite, and that's too sexy for me to handle. I felt the sudden rush of hot desire run up to my groin, making my dick twitch in agony. He meant to kill me, I'm sure of this.

The audience shriek all together, unable to control their emotions, well who wouldn't? The man beside him seems affected as well. He can't take his eyes off my Kana, how imprudent.

**"Aow aow Gulf..could you repeat that looking at Kao please. His heart must have stopped beating."**

_Oh no you're not..._

I silently prayed that he wouldn't, but he did it anyway.   
He turned to the left, and did another lipbite while looking seductively at Kao.

And the whole room of people lost it in a roaring cheer. The host, the members of the project, audiences and even the staff and crew. They all screaming, clapping like crazy.

  
_Fuck fuck fuck!_

From that moment forward, I need to physically tune down my self control. How tempting it is to just grab the fucking oaf in the face and throw him up the window. I am so infuriated that I'm ready to go berserk any moment now. But I can't just do that, right? Or.. maybe later I will.  
\---------------------------------------------------

 **"Where are we going?"**  
Kana asked as I dragged him along. Jin and the rest following us, while phi Best was left at the dressing room to fishout his belongings.

 **"Where are you taking me?"**  
He asked again, almost tripping beside me. My grip on his wrist so tight that it won't even let him fall down. The inextinguishable raging fire inside my chest pushing me to go havoc on everything comes my way. I thought I have become cold and numb since I was nine, but now I am angered like I have never been before.

We need to talk somewhere private and I am looking for a more suitable place than this empty hallways. A glowing red box caught my attention.

_This will do._

I opened the door leading out to the fire exit, dragging Kana along with me then shut the door behind me.

"The rest of you, stay there. Secure the perimeter, I have an unfinished business to take care of."

 **"Oh, take it easy capt'n, don't go breaking the hip."**  
Daniels said bluntly.

 **"Shut up dick!"**  
Chati snapped and I heard the sound of a light smacking followed by hushed laughs.

I took off the earpiece, putting it inside the pocket of my suit then turned towards the man in question. His eyes were in shock but not petrified, no. I want him surprised but not afraid of me, never afraid.

I reached to get a hold to both of his wrists, pinning it up the railings above his head. The fire exit isn't the most suitable place to do this but right at the moment, nowhere is more perfect to ambush him and ask what I have been willing to know for more than thirty six hours now.

 **"What are you doing? What is this?"**  
He asked with a glint of panic in his voice.

 **"Let me go! Mew! What do you think you're doing?"**  
He struggled against my tight grip, failing miserably. Holding both wrists with my left, I held his face firmly with my right hand. Locked his eyes with mine.

"It's either you tell me what is wrong with you or I'll strip you naked, right here.. right now..then I'll fuck you senselessly for all the world to see."  
I whispered behind his ear. Planting a soft kiss on it. I heard him growl in response, noticing the pink blush slowly creeping up his neck. The tips of his ear a glowing bright red.

_So hot.._

**"W-what did I do?"**  
He seems clueless, confusion evident across his lovely features. I can smell his sweet breath with our faces so close like this, and yet that wasn't enough to appease my fuming emotions.

"So, you're clueless huh? Do you not see how that Kao fuck you with his eyes? Are you really unaware of the way you turn him on by smiling..biting that sweet lips of yours?"  
I brushed my lips along his jaw line, leaving tiny little love bites. I really wanna leave a mark on his skin, to let others know that he is mine, and mine alone.

 **"Stop acting like a jealous husband! we're not even boyfriends, and you're forcing on me like this?"**  
He spat at me making me wince.  
My ever spicy Kana. His eyes flash with unbidden anger.

"You're actions earlier makes me want to be a jealous husband."  
I whispered against his lips before I plunged into his gaped mouth. Darting my tongue inside him, swirling in..tasting every nook of his corners. Taking the breath out of him, I pressed my body against his, letting him feel my hard rock manhood.

All this rampaging emotions make my groin tight. I want him, god..I want him now. I want to punish him, to own him, brand him..

My tongue found his and we danced in a wild rhythm of rumba, fighting for superiority, which I am not swaying out. I want control over him, but how can I if I cannot even rein my own head.  
When did I became so possessive of him?

A soft groan escaped his lips as he kissed me back in such a passion that warms my heart, it melts my resolve and slowly thawing the hard walls created by my jealousy.

"You make me feel so mad with jealousy, did you know that?"  
I murmured inbetween kisses.

**"Oh, are you?."**

"Yes..and did you say you're single knowing full well that I wouldn't like that?"

 **"Why, am I not? Single, I mean."**  
He smirked at me and I felt the hot intake of air in my lungs, I think I breath in fire. This man provokes me like no other. Fuck!

My mouth smashed back at his, hand tugging at his hair to angle the kiss deeper. I pulled off, and my burning lips found the hollow of his throat, where the pulse is beating erratically.

"I want you."  
I whispered as my body hums with need. The flood of anguish needs an outlet and this is the only way I know how. I can also feel his achingly stiff tent inside his pants, waiting to be freed.

He grinded over my shaft and I groan in response.

"So you're single, but you know how to grind huh?"  
I asked his eyes blazing in mine.

"You make me feel loved, but then you dare flirt with another man right before my eyes? Oh baby..you drive me crazy."  
Letting go of his wrists, I cupped his ass with both hands, lifting him up against the railings of the fire escape.  
His legs wrapped around my waist almost instantly and we dry humped each other in an attempt to gain that friction.

 **"S-stop it now.."**  
He mumbled under his breath, and it only fires up my flaming desire.

"You'd rather I do this then?"  
I let go of his ass, puts him down gently then reach infront of him, unbuckling his belt. I squat infront of him, his pants going down with his boxer underwear, and my mouth found his stiff rod. I swallow him whole, taking him by surprise. My tongue swirling on his tip making him jolt and moans involuntarily. His skin sleek against me, I bobbed up and down, sucking, taking him up to the back of my throat. The pace is fast, relentless, I plan to keep it wild, until I felt his fingers pulling hard on my curls.

_He feels so good, so good against my tongue._

**"Aahhhh....Meewww!..too much..please...ahhh..!**  
His ragged breathing close to being choked as the voice stutters in surrendered note.

And just when he is near the edge, I stopped.

 **"Wha-..what the actual fuck?"**  
He breathes heavily, looking down on me.. I smiled coyly, sucked my two fingers then I inserted one on his tight hole making him jolt upwards. Looking for that sensitive nerves, I fingered him good gaining soft moans from him.

But when he thought I would stop, I gobble him again. Edging back then sink him into me again, making sure my inside cheeks brush his manhood as I sucked every precious inch of him while my fingers have their own mind inside of him.

 **"Ahh..Mew..please..shit!"**  
He swears and digs his finger nails on my shoulder as he pushes against me. I pick up speed and drags him on edge of agony until..

"You grind on top of me every night for the past few days, but now you say you're single.."

 **"Uh! damn! why are you stopping?!"**  
I stopped at the right moment just as I felt him start to pulse, taking out my fingers out of him.

Licking my lips, I stand up, leaned forward, just an inch from his lips. I get hold of his cock and continued to ram him with my palm, expertly toying with him until he is a moaning mess against me and the railings.

"Do you think he can make you feel this good? Do you think he can take care of you like I can? You. Are. Mine. and no one can change that..not even you."

 **"Fuck Mew..please..."**  
I can feel he is near, so I slowed down. Taking in his heavy breaths.

"Beg for it..Say that you want it..say that you want it with me.."  
God how long can I endure this? I want him so bad but I want to hear it from him. I want to hear that he wants me, that he belongs to me. I need to ease my insecurities.

 **"No."**  
I stilled with his cold reply. Stopping abruptly, I searched for his eyes, hurt starting to root deep within me.

 **"No, not like this Mew. Please, not like this."**  
His shaky voice hoarse,  
I saw a single tear falls from his eye and everything, every inch of my flesh trembled in panic. My hand and body became rigid with tension, suddenly I dont know what to do.

_No! no no no!.._

_"_ Oh god..Im so sorry baby..I didn't mean to hurt you. please dont cry."  
I cupped his face, pulling him into my chest, wrapping my arms around him. My body is shaking, from all the tension, the emotions, the desire that still burns down my pants.

He heaves deeply against me, his head on my shoulder, while I caress his back trying to calm him down as well as my stormy breathing.

"Im so sorry. I didn't mean to do it that way..I just got carried away. The feeling of being in control, of pleasuring you the way I want you to feel, the feeling of owning you possessed me like a mad man. Im so sorry baby."  
I brushed my temple against his ears and I can hear a silent hiss.

 **"What makes you think that I will yield to you with this?"**  
He asked softly, his voice quivering in controlled whimper.

 **"What makes you think that I don't care about you just because I said I'm single in public? Do you think I'm stupid? That I would flirt with others just to annoy you?"**  
He is hurt, badly hurt and it pains me bigtime.

 **"I said I'm single because that's what the host and the audience wants to hear, that's what the target market of our album wants to hear. Kao and I, we were just friends. We talked about this ahead of time and we were just acting. To gain the crowds attention. It's just a job Mew."**  
He sigh exhaustedly and I felt a pang of remorse kick in my gut.

_How stupid of me!_

"But..but why did you avoid me? from the time I came back to your home, you didn't talk to me..not even a glance..and I missed you so much baby."  
I sniff his neck and puts a gentle kiss against the skin.

 **"I don't want to talk to you because I am thinking about something, and looking at you is distracting me. Your presence kills my braincells and I am unable to think straight whenever you're near, so I have to get away for a while. And now that you mentioned it, I miss you too."**  
He hugs me back and I felt all my exasperation disappear into thin air.

"Really? and would you care to tell me what is it that you are thinking about?"

**"Hmm, no, but I'll tell you for sure..just give me time."**

"Okay, I'll respect that. Think I can do that. You've forgiven me?"

 **"Ugh! you might want to use that head of yours sometimes, and I'm not talking about 'that' other head..hmm wild human..Anyway, would you like to move so I can pull up my pants? my ass is cold from the breeze, in addition to the fact that it might cause a commotion when someone sees me like this."**  
I can feel the humor in his tone and I moved back to hold him at arms length and look down on his still hard dick.

"Let me take care of that first."  
I said as my hand travels down to his navel, touching the skin lightly until I cupped his full length in my hand, pumping immediately making him gasp in surprise.

 **"Ugh..would you finish it this time? I'ma want to kill you if you don't. Just thought I must warn you."**  
He said breathily. Getting heady with pleasure I am giving him.

"I will, I promise.Let's do it quickly, phi Best might be looking for us."  
I turned him around, placing his hands against the railings. Grasping his hips, I pulled him backward so that he is bent over, legs spread apart.

"I wanna take you right here, right now baby..can I?"

 **"My dick is dangling hard infront of me, you really have to ask? of course yes please!..now hurry the fuck up!"**  
Oh my, ever so demanding.

I pulled out two packets of lubricated condom from the pocket of my suit, inserting one on him and pulling down the other on me, which I don't remember getting out of my pants.  
My hands glides down into his hips getting anchored as I plunge deep into his hole.  
His body accepted me like how breathing is easily done..I was so caught up in the pleasure that I rammed deeper into him causing a soft whine to escape his lips. The urge to go hard on him was so strong that it almost takes my breath away. I want to hear his cries of pleasure, I want him to surrender, to beg for mercy and to say that he belongs to me, only me.

I pound his ass two more times before stopping to say,

"You looked really good like this baby."  
I said enjoying the view of his arched back, his hands tightly clasped into the rails, and my dick going in and out of him.

I pick up the pace and rammed him ferociously, buckling his knees with the force of my doing.

His hands slipped from his grip on the railings and nearly falls but I was quick enough to held him in place. Getting hold of his left hand, I put it back , I pinned his hand in mine, holding tightly on it as I continued to destroy his puckering asshole.

I felt his insides throb and knew exactly that he's near, so I reached towards his front, pumping him in rhythm of my humping. Hammering him, possesing him.

 **"Ahhh..Mew I'm coming!..oh please..give it to me..uhh..'**  
He growls pushing back his behind against me.

 **"Oh fuck that's right baby. I am too..let's go!..uh!"**  
We shudder almost at the same time, reaching for our release, He pulsated around me, clenching me..while I   
palpitate, riding my orgasm to the new heights.

I held him firmly against my chest for a few moments until our breaths evens out. Taking out a pack of disposable wipes, I cleaned us up, disposing the condom, while Kana bends un moving.

"Are you okay?"  
I asked.

 **"Yeah, I'm fine..I think I must misbehave more often.."**  
He giggled.

"Hmm, please don't. I don't like the version of me earlier, and I'm not planning on being one ever again."  
I said finishing up, I pulled up his pants and underwear, also buckling my self, I remembered something, so I pulled out the earpiece on my pocket. I turned it on.

"Jiro, can you do the plan B now?"  
I can hear everyone gasps upon hearing my voice.

 **"Yes boss, ten minutes give or take.Let me handle that."**  
Jiro immediately replied as if he's been waiting for me all this time.

 **"Oh, done already cap? You're a beast!"**  
Jose' commented and I heard a loud slapping sound.

"Plan B guys."  
I said seriously. I am nervous about this but I want to do it now. Everything in me screams to do it now.

 **"We're on it."**  
When I heard Jin, I calmed a bit. I know everything will be perfect.

 **"What is plan B? what are you talking about?"**  
Kana stared at me puzzled.

"You'll see..come."  
I intertwined our fingers as I opened the door, stepping inside the building with him along. The rest follow us towards the elevator.

I punched in the top floor and I felt Kana squeezed my hand. Looking at him, I just smiled.

"Trust me."

He nods.

Reaching the roof top, Jin, Daniels, Chati and Jose' scattered to check the area and do some stuff we planned ahead.

 **"What are we doing here?"**  
He asked walking ahead the empty, dark pavement of the rooftop.

"Let us forget about the danger for a while."  
I said, Chati handed me the guitar I asked them to prepare, then the lights around us bring to life. The soft glow of each bulbs illuminating his silhouette that stopped on his tracks when the lights turned on.

We were surrounded by tiny colorful bulbs scattered around us like fallen stars. Red, blue, green, yellow, pink, violet, white..all assortment of colors, blinking slowly..softly, just like how stars glitters in the sky. It was like we were walking on space, he looked at it awestricken.

I started to strum my guitar, causing him to turn around and look at me. A yellow bulb beneath his feet turned on and another just beside me. Making us see each other's radiated faces. He looked so divine, with that messed up hair, 'just fucked up' lips, and disheveled shirt underneath the creased suit.

"Baby, please let me make it up to you for what I did earlier. This is me saying sorry."  
I said softly, just enough for him to hear. The others were standing a good distance from us.

_Can I call you baby?_   
_Can you be my friend?_   
_Can you be my lover up until the very end?_   
_Let me show you love, oh, I don't pretend_   
_Stick by my side even when the world is givin' in, yeah_

_Oh, oh, oh, don't_   
_Don't you worry_   
_I'll be there, whenever you want me_

_I need somebody who can love me at my worst_   
_No, I'm not perfect, but I hope you see my worth_   
_'Cause it's only you, nobody new, I put you first_   
_And for you, boy, I swear I'll do the worst_

_If you stay forever, let me hold your hand_   
_I can fill those places in your heart no else can_   
_Let me show you love, oh, I don't pretend, yeah_   
_I'll be right here, baby, you know I'll sink or swim_

_Oh, oh, oh, don't_   
_Don't you worry_   
_I'll be there, whenever you want me_

In between my singing, a whistling sound came followed by a loud blow, creating colorful specks on the sky. A firework goes up the sky bursting into a big ball of lights. He looked up in amazement, his eyes sparkling in the night as another firework came whistling and when it exploded into a spray of rainbow colors, his hands involuntarily clapped in excitement.

  
_I need somebody who can love me at my worst_   
_No, I'm not perfect, but I hope you see my worth, yeah_   
_'Cause it's only you, nobody new, I put you first (put you first)_   
_And for you, boy, I swear I'll do the worst_

His eyes were like a galaxy of stars, twinkling, lustrously dancing along the fine contour of his face. I felt my heart is swelling with so much affection I can't handle.

_I need somebody who can love me at my worst_   
_No, I'm not perfect, but I hope you see my worth_   
_'Cause it's only you, nobody new, I put you first_   
_And for you, boy, I swear I'll do the worst_ _. _

He looked at me, smiling widely, his eyes teary as I finished my song.

"Look up baby, the next one will be the most beautiful."  
He complied at that, and I had the best moment of my life witnessing how his eyes widened in astonishment.

There in the dark sky above us, written in bold twinkling letters..

**WILL YOU BE MINE?**

And another one came bursting.

**BE MY BOYFRIEND**

And another..

**PLEASE**

"So, what do you say? I want to put an end on you being single. Will you help me with it?"

My heart were hammering inside my chest like a thousand drums being played together all at the same time.

 **"You fucking stark raving mad!."**  
******************************

A/N:  
Hi??!!  
🙈🙈🤭

Will he say yes?..  
no one knows..  
well..

I Do..🙈😂  
haha.

This is so far my longest chapter.  
Please do tell me what you think about this chapter.  
Anything needs improvement?  
help me get better please.  
🙏☺️  
Thank you all for votes, the love and support🥰

-phinutz


	23. DATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll always care about you.  
> I care about you now.  
> Even when I am godly pissed at you.  
> Even when we fight.  
> Even if you hurt me.  
> I'll still care about you.  
> Yes asshole. I care about you.
> 
> \- Gulf

*************************************

"Where are we going?"  
I asked as Mew ushered me towards the chopper, his arm tight on my waist tucking me securely against his body. We are at the helipad atop the GMM building where the contract signing for a new album took place.

The setting sun warm against my skin as the afternoon wind tousled my hair. He wore a green long sleeve under a black skechers hoodie jacket paired with washed up jeans, while I am still wearing the plaid coat over my button up white shirt and black slacks that I wore earlier during the event.

**"You'll see."**  
He smiled mysteriously, helping me seat into the passenger side of the helicopter.

**"Safety first."**  
He buckled me up as I get seated, testing all the belts securely. The seat is surprisingly comfortable.

"You love strapping things huh?"  
I said teasingly, my hands placed on his shoulders.

**"You bet I am."**  
He smirked so close to my face I thought he's going to kiss me, then turned around to seat on the pilot's side and I looked at him in horror.

"Hey, don't tell me you're flying this thing?"  
Raising an eyebrow at him.

**"Why not? I am a licensed pilot and I can fly almost any airborne vehicle, wanna see my credentials before we take off sir?"**  
He just smirked playfully, putting on the noise reduction headphones on me. He leans in and quickly placed a kiss on my lips making me blush instantly. I could never get used to this.

"I didn't know you could fly a chopper."  
I mumbled more to myself.

**"There's a lot of things you didn't know about me baby. And I'm more than willing to open up in case you wanna know more."**  
He winked at me teasingly, putting on his own seatbelts and headphone.

**"Don Muang Control tower, this is chopper SUNFLOWER554SJ. I am a Robinson model R22 Beta II. This is Captain Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat speaking, Request present position departure to Doi Ithanon at 1600 hrs."**

"Sunflower?"  
He turned at my silent question.

**"Yes, The chopper's name is Sunflower554SJ. He's my second baby."**  
Pride evident in his voice. Oh, boys and their toys

"You mean there's another one?"

**"No, this is the only chopper that I own. But has the second place as my baby."**

"What is the first then? Your Audi?"

**"Baby, it is not a 'what'..It's a who..And I know, you know very well who it is."**  
He mumbled as he began pushing and switching buttons on the controls. The main rotor blade coming to life and I can't help but yelp in surprise.

Another naughty smile ripped through his lips and I blushed at the endearment. I can feel the tingling sensation from my fingertips to the back of my neck all the way to my curling toes. My ears are burning and I know that I am as red as a tomato at the moment.

**"Fuck."**  
Heard him curse under his breath and I snapped to look at him.

**"How in the world could you be so damn cute? A scene is playing in my head right now where you are grinding up on my lap, and that could get very dangerous."**  
His voice hoarse and god how it felt suddenly hot in here. His flickering eyes sends warm blood pumping down my groin, and I inhaled sharply in ache.

"Pervert."  
I murmured to myself but sure enough he heard me. My inner sexy mind has now awakened and is paying attention, thinking about his sexy veiny hands against my ass.

**"Chopper Sunflower554SJ, Don Muang tower cleared for take off from present position. Caution wake turbulence from departing UPS 757. Have a safe flight captain."**

**"Roger that, 4DC contact departure thanks.**

He talked some more at the radio about technicals that I don't really understand so I closed my eyes, feeling a bit lightheaded from the vibrations of the motor. My stomach feels squishy, not sure from the nervousness of my first helicopter ride or from the excitement of the upcoming event. I wonder where is he taking me. This emotions swarming inside and I need a moment to asses, fear, turned on, excited.

**"Hey, are you okay?"**  
I heard him said thru the headphone, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Yeah, just a little light headed."  
I answered eyes still closed, still thinking about his expert veiny hands.

_Hmm..how bold of me._

**"Is this your first time to fly?"**  
His soft voice echoing through my head. He eyes me warrily, I opened mine to look at him and smile to ease his distress.

"To fly No, on a chopper, yes. Im fine really."

**"You're going to be safe, please have some trust in me."**  
A gentle chuckle escaped his throat and my eyes landed on his hands wielded tightly on the cyclic lever. I do trust him, but it is myself I don't really trust.

_Holy crap..how could I get that delicious hands off my mind?_

"Just the two of us?"  
I answered, turning my gaze away  
from the distraction.

**"Yes, just the two of us. Let's go** **chasing the sunset."**  
He smiled tenderly then started to maneuver the chopper up into the air.  
I am putting my life into this amazing man's hands again.

I held my breath as we take off the ground, seeing the buildings from above getting smaller like a pile of legos.

"Chasing the wha- Oh Wow..!"  
A gasp as my heart leaps a thousand folds up my throat at the magnificent view before me. My hands clenched tight on the seat's side that it almost turned white. The sky is colored in hushed blue mixed with orange and gold red stretches far and wide, the color of ocean and tangerines over the horizon of miniature buildings. It's like a painting on an artist's canvass. I never thought the setting sun would look as good as this, everything is so pleasing to the eyes. It's majesty fills my mind with the most beautiful dream. It's an eyegasmic view.

Mew kept silent, he puts his hand over mine and gently squeezes. He wants me to feel his presence but let's me enjoy the moment at the same time.

**"Beautiful isn't it?"**  
He speaks after a while.

"Very."  
I replied breathily, looking back at him.

"Thank you for this."

**"We're just getting started baby."**  
A puzzling smile playing oh his lips.

The memory of last weeks event came flooding my mind as I bath in the spectacular view. Mew asking me to be his boyfriend out of nowhere is really confounding. I was surprised, thrilled, hurt. Surprised that he proposed out of nowhere, with all the music, lights and oh fucking fireworks. I am thrilled by the thoughts of Mew's initiative to seal the deal between us. And hurt because the memory of Arthie still lingers in my mind.

How could he ask me to be his boyfriend if he has Arthie , but yeah thinking about it, how could he ask someone to be his boyfriend if he still consider Arthie as his. Clearly for Mew, Arthie is just a thing of the past. An old flame perhaps? He wants Mew back, and I must ask Mew if he wants the same. Then I will decide what to do with my feelings.

The answer he has been waiting for is something I cannot easily have given, with the current state of my mind. I am confused, afraid of the situation where a stalker or kidnapper is still on the loose without any leads. Wanting to brand him as mine is something I am dying to do too, but I don't want to decide if I am not a hundred percent sure of my feelings, so I asked him to give me sometime to think about it. That is after I punched him in agitation.

I smiled in remembrance of his shocked face.

**"Hmm, having fun eh?"**  
Mew sounds delighted and it widen my smile..

"Yes I am. Where are we going really?"  
I asked when I noticed that below us the buildings and paved ground disappeared, it is now a lush green of trees and plants.

**"You'll see. Hold tight."**  
He warned before dipping the chopper to the right and making me squeal loudly. I can hear his laughter.

_Bastard!_

His laugh is infectious so I laughed as well. Feeling all jolly and carefree, It's been a long time since I have been this giggly and grinny like a fool.

Mew rights the plane and now a mountain is in full view. It's wide body covered in lush green forest. The foot of it covered with ghost-grey mist transparent in the afternoon glow of the setting sun.

**"Mew c-me in."**  
Suddenly a voice on the radio in my head came. I recognize it is Ji-nie.

**"Jin? What is it?"**  
Mew seems surprised.

**"Me-w..Do-..go..back.."**  
Her voice is cut out and terribly hoarse sounding. I can't understand what she is saying as well as Mew.

**"Jin, I can't understand what you are saying. I'll mesage you once we arrived okay?"**  
He said then totally cut off the line.

"Is it urgent?"

**"Uh no, I think not, We talked before we head off and there's nothing important on my plate right now aside from you."**  
He gave me another wink as he proceed on driving the chopper.

A few moments later, a clearing on top of the mountain comes to view as we came closer to the ground. A tent...oh god, is that a tent pitched up to the left of the cliff? There is a wooden table, two chairs and a pile of woods nearby.

" **"Don Muang Control tower, this is chopper SUNFLOWER554SJ**. **Captain Jongcheveevat here, we are now entering Doi Ithanon summit landing left downwind to the ground."**  
A buzzing sound came in reply and I don't think that is a good sign, but Mew just shrugged off his shoulders.

We hovered slowly, over the leveled top of the mountain. This is incredibly spacious, like a campsite at the summit. We sail around one more time and are on the ground with a soft thud.

He turned off the Rotor blades, switched a lot of buttons then his hands were all over me, taking off my headphone and belts.

"So this is the place huh?  
really? on top of the mountain? How am I gonna pee in here? or do I even have time to pee?"  
I asked incredulously.

He didn't answer, his lips twitching to the side. Mew takes off opening the cockpit, then turned towards my side to help me unload.

  
Peace came flooding my senses when I felt the hard ground beneath my feet.

I take a deep breath of mountain breeze into my lungs enjoying it's sweet leafy scent when a pair of arms encircled my waist and I opened my eyes to look up on a shimmering hazel brown eyes.

**"How was that?"**  
He asked softly. His hands tighten on my back, giving it a faint squeeze.

"That was incredible. Thank you."  
I blushed shyly. This man never seize to amaze me in ways I didn't expect.

**"Come."**  
He lets go and hold my hand leading me to the pitched tent.

It was spacious, the white tent seems sturdy with a comforter, a blanket and pillows inside.

**"You may take a rest inside, I'll prepare our dinner."**

"No, I want to watch the sunset."  
I said looking at the red sky and my eyes darted to the set of chairs beside the table nearby.

**"Okay, what ever you like."**  
He said leaving me behind as he go back to the chopper.

Walking towards the wooden chair and sitting on it while I enjoyed watching birds flew up the orange bloody sky. The sun is setting, cool breeze fanning my face. The silence of the surrounding brings tranquility to my troubled mind.

I touched the ring on my thumb, rolling it between my fingers. I have worn the ring since yesterday, and my attention was drawn to this all day. It's not because it has a certain meaning or something, neither it is given by someone special. But simply because it holds the three words that I want to say but cannot find the courage to do so. The time to make the big decision is here.

_Man up Kanawut! You're not a pussy._

I wonder if the NFC in his phone is activated, it should be or else all these agitation would be for nothing.

Mew returned carrying a large ice box,  
and a duffle bag. He put the box on the table, while the duffle bag was thrown inside the tent.

Taking out a set of food containers on the table, I smiled in amusement.

"You really gone all out eh? For what? Hmm..I don't think this is all for free."  
I raised an eyebrow at him. My inner wanton expectantly waiting for his reply.

**"This is for you to relax, you've been restless these past few days. I want to take you somewhere you wouldn't mind about having fans or cameras around."**

"Hmm, really? I can smell your hidden agenda from here you know."  
I smirked.

**"Well I wouldn't deny the fact that I miss you, but I am a man of my word. I won't do anything to you unless you want me to. I won't touch you lest you initiated first."**  
He leaned in closer and I thought he's going to kiss me but pulled away in a swift move. My heart throbbed in anticipation.

_This bastard._

After taking out all of more than five containers of food I don't know what is, he goes around and headed to the pile of woods. I eye in awe as he began firing the logs. He's making a bonfire!

Once the fire started flickering, he took out utensils and began transferring foods from the container. There is a steak, buttered chicken, a pork and basil, mixed veggies and garlic rice. In one container, there is a heap of grapes and banana.

**"This is far from being grand, but I cooked all of these just for you. Hope you like it."**

_I like you._

He keeps talking about the food, but my mind is screaming otherwise.

"Oh, really? You cooked all this?"  
My heart swell in appreciation. This man is really something.

**"Yes, so if anything.. just anything you want to talk about, you can tell me. Im all ears, I wont judge. I promise."**  
He eyed me warily.

This is it. Should I ask him now?  
Heck yes!

"Uhm, about Arthie. Is he...is he your ex?"  
I saw him flinch upon the mention of the name.

**"What about him?"**  
He eyes me warily.

"Are you still together or what?"  
I admit, I am not okay with this interrogation-like set up, but I need this. My peace of mind requires this.

_Holy cow! This is taking my breath away._

He stopped putting foods on my plate. Set the spoons aside and settled his elbows on the table. His hands clasped under his chin.

**"How did you know about that? Anyway, I don't have any idea as to why you're asking about him but no. Arthie and I were over a long time ago."**  
He said dismissively. As if this conversation is over before it even started.

"He..talked to me."  
It is only appropriate to admit the truth, right?

**"He did?!"**  
His eyes were wide. He's shaken. I can tell from his reaction.

"Yes. He's claiming to be your boyfriend. That's why I can't answer your proposal unless I heard the truth from you. So, what happened?"

**"Arthie and I are childhood friends. Something happened that make us closer and eventually fell into a relationship. But were done. The moment I stepped into the army, we lost it, and for me its really over between us. I'll talk to him about it if that's what will give you peace of mind."**  
His eyes were honest and I see the truth in there. What more can I say?

"Ugh, okay. let's eat. Im starving."  
I bit my lip as I roamed my eyes on the food letting go of the topic. I got all the answers I need, and for me that's enough. Mew being here with me is enough.

He pulled out two glasses from the box, a jug of cold water and a bottle of Giuseppe Quintarelli, a red wine. There's also another jug with ice.

"You're exceeding my expectations thaat."  
I grinned back at him.

**"Anything for my baby."**  
He smiled beaming at me. Eyes dancing. The flickering light of the nearby fire reflecting on his eyes.

We ate in silence and I can't help but throw sneaky glances at the gorgeous man before me. His loose shirt halfway open and showing his meaty chest.

**"You're eating me with your eyes. I didn't realize it's not food you're hungry about."**  
He grinned at me wickedly, as if suggesting something. Something that keeps tugging at my heart.

"Uhm, no thanks..Im full."  
I blushed heavily, biting my tongue between my teeth.

**"Suit yourself."**

_Why is the air suddenly so hot?_

The sky has darken and turned into a dark purple sea of stars. Amazing!.  
I looked up as I sipped wine from my glass. Mew began fishing out the utensils we used for the hefty dinner.  
I felt the small box inside my suit.

_Should I do it now?_

Thinking, I walked towards the tent. Slumped on the small opening, taking off my shoes. Mew follow me and sat beside me.

**"What are you thinking?"**  
He asked, his hand snaking into the back of my neck making me jolt.

I swallowed, praying to all the gods to give me enough courage to do this.

He helped me take off my shoes and he fumbles into his own, moves behind me and we seated cuddled up at the tent's small opening.

"I'm thinking about you being unfair. How you could make me feel special and jealous at the same time."  
I felt him frown. Curious at where I am going with this.

**"What do you mean?"**

"Right now, I felt so special. so loved. But still jealous of how I am not your first in anything where you are mine in almost everything."  
My voice sounded bruised more than I planned it to be.

**"Hmm..You are the first passenger I brought in with Sunflower. This is the first time I set a tent on top of a mountain just to have a date. And you are the first person I cooked food for. Will that be enough?"**  
A smile tore upon my lips.  
Squeezing my hands, I remember the ring.

"Ugh, fine. I won't get jealous anymore. The food is delicious by the way."  
The need to recognize his efforts felt right.

**"It should be, or else how could**   
**I make you say yes."**

"Hmm, Mew..do you have your phone with you?"  
I asked hesitantly. This is it. My heart hammered wildly inside my chest as he dig out his phone from the pocket of his pants.

**"Here, why?"**

I didn't answer. Instead, I placed my thumb wearing the ring under the backside of his phone. Almost instantly, a notification of data transfer popped into his screen.

I gulped.

**"What's this-..."**  
😱

On the screen, written in bold letters,

** "MEW'S BABY" **

**"Wha-..what is the meaning of this Kana?"**

"What? you're a cave man or something? NFC data duh. Here."  
I dumped the small black box into his palm.

**"Huh?"**

"Put it on, dumb ass."

He opened the box and found another ring inside it. A titanium black ring.

Bewildered, he put it on and I leaned in to place it near the phone.  
A new data notification popped up.

**"** ** GULF'S THAAT." **

**"Is this what I think it is?"**  
He asked holding his breath.

"Ugh, that is an NFC smart ring."

**"No. I mean the message. Baby, are you-..is this a yes?"**  
His eyes were red with unshed tears.

"Ugh! what ever."  
I replied rolling my eyes at him.  
What a dimwit.  
This is so embarassing!

**"Oh my god!. You disarmed me. Always taking me by surprise. You make me the happiest man baby."**  
He turned me around, cupped my face between his hands then kissed me hungrily. One hand goes behind my neck, tugging my hair so my head tips back and deepening the kiss in the process. His other hand travels down my spine, grabbing me closer.  
His kiss was long, hard, passionate. His tongue on my mouth and I sucked on it as if my life defended on that small piece of meat.

Us being alone in the dark, on the top of the mountain, adds fuel to my thrilled heart. Heavy hot blood pumping on my groin like a raging waves of fire, devouring me quickly.  
My hands flew instantly into his neck, anchoring him towards me. I want him now.

**"Let's go inside, I might want to seal the deal with my BOYFRIEND."**  
He whispered the moment our lips went apart to gasp for breath.

_Why does that sound so deliciously sexy?_

I mean the boyfriend thing.  
🙈

"Aow di."  
I mutter, cheeks flushed red.

This gonna be a good good night.

************************************  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hi..  
> you can also find me on WATTPAD for more updated and raw chapters..  
> Kudos are very much appreciated.  
> comment are too.  
> thank you for your time!  
> Stay safe everyone.  
> 🥰


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